Self Sabotage Advice?

Itstimeforme41
Itstimeforme41 Posts: 2 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey everyone, I’ve come to the realization that I often self sabotage and I can’t seem to figure out why. Has anyone overcome this? I know everyone is different and my reasons won’t be the same for everyone but I would love to hear your stories the good and bad. I have 100+ pounds to lose and haven’t made it past 50 lbs before I gain in all back and then some! I have a lot to live for and I truly believe I want to win this battle but something inside of me always switches my mindset and it’s a forever never ending battle!
I’ll take any advice any ideas ect !
Feel free to msg me or add me or whatever you’re most comfortable with ! TIA
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Replies

  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,221 Member
    I don’t think there is much anyone can do for you. You’ve lost weight before so you know what to do. You just choose not to.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Maybe take a closer look at what happens when you hit the 50 pounds lost mark. Why do you decide to stop? Is it a "decision" or is it subconsciously returning to prior habits? Or, something else? No need to answer publicly. Just an idea that may help you get past that point and continue on.
  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 35,754 Member
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/47286649#Comment_47286649
    There's some great advice in this thread.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Maybe take a closer look at what happens when you hit the 50 pounds lost mark. Why do you decide to stop? Is it a "decision" or is it subconsciously returning to prior habits? Or, something else? No need to answer publicly. Just an idea that may help you get past that point and continue on.

    To piggyback on this line of thinking... have you tried "diet breaks" (eating at maintenance calories for a couple weeks) along the way? It can help you practice maintenance and gives you a little hormonal recharge if you're feeling deficit weary.

    Also, do you decrease your deficit as you lose? The slimmer you get, the slower the weight loss should be. If you were aiming for the same rate of loss you had in the beginning when you were 50 pounds down, I can see how that would be hard to sustain.

    Here is one last thought: after you lose 50 pounds, what if you changed your calorie goal to goal weight maintenance? You would continue losing weight down to your goal weight, but it would be pretty slow. Psychologically, it would not be "dieting" because it would be the maintenance calories for the rest of your life (or as long as you want to be at that goal weight). Physically, it would be an ever-shrinking deficit and consequently easier to sustain.

    Whatever you come up with, wishing you the best for all the great things in your life.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,204 Member
    There are a lot of reasons this could happen: Fear of change, fear of being the person you would become in the world if you were thin, simple lack of true interest in being at a healthy weight, preference for current indulgence over future self's well being, use of food to "solve" problems that aren't about nutrition/fuel (such as stress or emotions), or any of dozens of other things, maybe in combination.

    If it isn't working for you to figure out, TBH, I'd suggest some form of counseling or therapy to sort it out. When we have challenges with physical functioning that we can't solve, we hire a physical therapist or personal trainer. When we have issues around nutrition that we can't solve, we hire a registered dietitian. When we can't figure out something that has to do with our thought patterns and behavior, we ought to hire a professional in that sort of thing: Therapist, psychologist, that sort of thing. There's no reason to attach stigma to that.

    If that's out of reach, consider self-help resources. I haven't used it, but many people around here recommend the book The Beck Diet Solution, which is about applying cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to weight management.
  • herblovinmom
    herblovinmom Posts: 418 Member
    My mom does something like this,.. she works really hard to lose a bunch of weight, dedicates her life to the necessary changes, she loses the weight, she reaches her goals, she wins the weight loss game with herself and then gets bored and gains it back, she told me she likes the challenge of the weight loss and once she’s thin she’s doesn’t enjoy it as much and resorts back to over eating and then plays the weight loss game again eventually… she knows she does this yet can’t seem to stop the cycle. She just likes the challenge she doesn’t like maintenance
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,221 Member
    herblovinmom wrote: »
    My mom does something like this,.. she works really hard to lose a bunch of weight, dedicates her life to the necessary changes, she loses the weight, she reaches her goals, she wins the weight loss game with herself and then gets bored and gains it back, she told me she likes the challenge of the weight loss and once she’s thin she’s doesn’t enjoy it as much and resorts back to over eating and then plays the weight loss game again eventually… she knows she does this yet can’t seem to stop the cycle. She just likes the challenge she doesn’t like maintenance
    Right? It’s almost like the reward for losing all that weight is unbridled eating

  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    tomcustombuilder wrote: »
    herblovinmom wrote: »
    My mom does something like this,.. she works really hard to lose a bunch of weight, dedicates her life to the necessary changes, she loses the weight, she reaches her goals, she wins the weight loss game with herself and then gets bored and gains it back, she told me she likes the challenge of the weight loss and once she’s thin she’s doesn’t enjoy it as much and resorts back to over eating and then plays the weight loss game again eventually… she knows she does this yet can’t seem to stop the cycle. She just likes the challenge she doesn’t like maintenance
    Right? It’s almost like the reward for losing all that weight is unbridled eating

    Yes, I think this is a really common temptation. In *some* ways it's a lot easier to buckle down for short intense suffering than it is to realign your entire life.

    It's not wholly bad to be motivated by achievement. But it's definitely boring if the only goal is a number on the scale. I started there, but then I picked fitness goals like improving my mile time or hitting my ever increasing step goal, or trying something new that would have been too hard when I was obese, or nutrition goals like meeting a higher protein goal, or finding a new thing to cook, etc etc.

    Not weight loss, but I have a relative who hoards and it's almost the exact same thing - she thinks that if she wants to keep her house clean it's going to be constant intensive deep cleaning, which is hard and exhausting, rather than the light tidying and much easier caring for a reasonably clean house (that needs to be done regularly if you want to keep it that way.) Her only experience cleaning is the hard part, though, and while there are initial big gains it's hard to keep up long term and she gets burned out.
  • tammyposhmail
    tammyposhmail Posts: 3 Member
    From my experience what makes this happen is more the incorrect understanding that a "diet" is a temporary way of eating and exercising and when you are successful you can reward yourself by "relaxing" and eating more "normally" rather than recognizing that the shift has to be permanent. I don't mean the calorie content so much as behaviour, lifestyle and what I being eaten...
    If you want to be a fit healthy person, we all have to wake up and just realise that nothing about how we used to do things will attain that. It's. Hard pill to swallow.
    I think I'm currently greuvibg that that the days of eating like a 15 year old HAVE TO be over now, working on it with you! Lol
    I've personally always been thin til the past 5, years but I have always "out exercised a bad diet" working labourous job and generally being active, now I'm almost 40 and it's just different lol
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,513 Member
    I lose motivation all the damn time.
    I started with over 200lb to lose, I'm down 150lb now

    I have a friend who does a lot of bulking and cutting cycles so gets how long term dieting can really drain you

    Taking a couple weeks at maintenance before dipping back into it helps as does changing up what you do for fitness

    I also text him my daily weigh in, if I stop sending the number he knows it's because I'm likely messing about off plan and need a nudge to remind me why I'm trying to lose the weight.

    I also read a lot of fitness magazines and online stuff written by trainers that understand that fad diets are pure crap and lead to unhealthy cycles

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