Getting back after life's bumps

Welcome back! I wondered what happened.

Welcome back, Reenie! It's good to see you here again.

Just start back into it by any route that seems to present the easiest path, then keep going. We untangle a snarl one knot at a time.

I haven't had any major major bumps since being on MFP, but there were some big life-changers along the way that derailed me in other ways. It may not work for all, but I'm a believer in "behave as if".

Grabbing the reins, and doing something helps change my mindset. Trying to keep it all on the inside, change my mindset in order to make the behavior change . . . that doesn't work very well for me. But maybe that's just me.

Shortly after I was widowed, I was talking to a co-worker whose young adult daughter had recently been killed in a fall from her horse. It was just normal casual chat between us, talking and social-smiling a little, not a deep subject. Another co-worker walked by and remarked on us looking so cheerful despite difficult circumstances. When he left the room, the other woman turned to me and said something like "If I'm going to pretend something while going through the motions, I might as well pretend to be happy."

That made a lot of sense to me. For me, "behaving as if" can eventually make the "as if" situation feel natural and be real. I hope that idea's not depressing to you.

Wishing you success on this round!

Hi- Welcome back! I thought about you while you were gone. I have had plenty of ups and downs and in a couple of them I have let the not being able to/not having the mind space to take care of myself get the best of me and that has not been great for my health or feelings of self worth. I’ve finally realized that no matter what it is am going through if I can make myself take that first small step towards caring about myself again I can do what it takes. The motivation is simply that no matter what s%&*! I am going through or have to do for others it will be easier to manage if I myself am even just a bit healthier. It is sometimes so hard to see how to make space and time for one’s own health and needs. I am constantly being yelled at by drs and family about this (but of course the family all rely on me and are the ones filling up my so called “free time” so it is a never ending spiral unless I personally take action for myself).

The good news - you have taken that first step. You are back. Now take the next and stay engaged and let the giving and getting of advice keep you solid in your routine. You know the steps. Don’t try to go too fast. Make the things you do enjoyable and sustainable.

Now that you have started logging fill your house with the healthy things you want to be eating, toss the junk, pull out your kitchen scale and make sure the logging is accurate. Come back and tell us how we can support you.

One thing though - while you take a positive attitude, make sure you get any professional help you might need to tackle the mental health challenges you are having. Sometimes as much as you want to be positive and fake it till you make it, there are underlying challenges you need to address with help that a personal wellness website full of well meaning people can’t fully do. Addressing underlying mental health challenges like depression etc. is really important to successful long term weight loss or any type of behavior management and can give you tools and routines to apply to find success. I haven’t tried them but I understand there are now on line talk therapists for particular types of challenges — maybe that is an option worth checking out short term for a kick start.