How do you stop self-sabotaging?

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emgracewrites
emgracewrites Posts: 455 Member
in Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
So I’m really not good at handling stress. And lately I keep getting hit with more and more of it… problems at work, way behind on basic household cleaning stuff, medical issues… my way of dealing with it all, at least lately, is to eat way more than I usually do. Normally I eat about 1400 a day, but yesterday it was almost 1800. My total for today is pretty high too.

My goal is to gain weight, but healthy food isn’t attractive to me in the slightest when I get like this - it’s all crackers and sugar and processed junk. And despite all that, I still can’t stand to look at my reflection because I’m too damn skinny.

How do I stop getting in my own way of developing healthy habits? I did try going for a walk yesterday and my hip is screaming in pain today so that plan backfired. I’m seeing a mental health professional but it’s not having much of an impact (clearly). I just feel so overwhelmed. I guess I’d feel a little better if I knew I wasn’t the only person feeling this way.

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  • cupcakesandproteinshakes
    cupcakesandproteinshakes Posts: 1,092 Member
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    Sometimes life is overwhelming. When I feel overwhelmed I just focus on the basics.
    If your goal is to gain then it doesn’t matter if you eat 1800 Cals.
    Maybe it doesn’t matter too much about calorie counting at the moment? What’s your priority? Focus on that. Everything else can wait. What definitely doesn’t help for me in a stressful life situation is beating myself up about what I haven’t managed to achieve.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
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    Sometimes it's time to switch therapists, so feel free to consider that!

    What you are describing sounds to me like "catastrophizing." A bad day is a bad day. What you do today doesn't have to spiral out of control into an inevitable pattern for the rest of your days. You can do better tomorrow (or starting right now). You don't have to fix the job stuff, the medical stuff, and the house stuff all at once even if it feels like you do.

    I like to rank things by priority and go from there. What's got a actual deadline? What would be the most result for the least effort? What can you ask other people to do? What really can be ignored for now (if you're like me, you might not like it, but there are things that can be put off and it's fine to wait on them.)

    I try to take time to pray everyday, too and sometimes that seems to just...create more time in my day? Not always, but sometimes it's kind of amazing. One might even say miraculous. ;)

    Best wishes. We all go through these rough patches even if you don't see it and think everybody else has all their stuff together all the time. We really don't! But we can learn to weather the hard parts better. :)
  • sm7d5hqbtd
    sm7d5hqbtd Posts: 3 Member
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    It’s totally okay to have a slip-up once in a while. You don’t need to be perfect all the time. If you need to take care of work, then attend to that.
    But if this is a pattern, then you might need a healthier way to cope with stress. Like meditating or journaling. Rewire your mind about your beliefs about healthy food. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with your body. It’s just a phase. Lean or fat, bodies change everyday. May be start with looking at yourself in the mirror and accepting yourself in the moment. The first step to change is accepting yourself.
  • jyoti_0
    jyoti_0 Posts: 87 Member
    edited February 2023
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    Prayer has helped me a lot too.
    Attitude of gratitude- mindfully being grateful for everything that you have, will help lessening stress and negative thoughts. ( you can read about it here)
    Always look at people who are in a lesser position in life than you. That helps looking at things in perspective.
    Consciously think of everything you can be grateful for in life and say a prayer of thanks whenever you can. It helps me to handle stressful periods. I hope, it will help you too.
  • renew0127
    renew0127 Posts: 47 Member
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    I have always found, for me, that when something changes for the good, other things start to fall into place. Having a good hair day and smiling at myself in the mirror actually helps quite a bit. There are people who think completely opposite of what you do about you and we are our own worst enemies. I listen to podcasts and sassy “I’m a bada$$” music. Dance like no one is watching. It feels good to let loose and you putting the good energy out there you never know what you will spark. I also struggling with emotional eating, but I’m looking to gain weight. But maybe focus on just having a good day and see what happens. 😉
  • DebbsSeattle
    DebbsSeattle Posts: 125 Member
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    If you can do some deep study on sugar, seed oils and processed foods, it may cure you of your addiction to those foods under stress. For instance, easy low hanging fruit, excessive sugar intake causes insulin resistance, insulin resistance is the root of diabetes, Alzheimer’s is now called type 3 diabetes. If you cannot find the solution through a front door, find the back door.

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