Eating in Public :noway:

AngelikaLumiere
AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
How many of you still find yourself hiding when you eat? Are you afraid of what people with think or say if theysee you eat? I know my husband loves me but I still find myself not wanting to eat in front of him, if he is not also eating. I want to get over this unhealthy reaction to eating. So if you have any helpful hints, funny stories or just suffer similarly, please post, misery loves company. :laugh:

Replies

  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    i do/ did for many many years not even going to a pub or anything! not eating at a mcdonalds or anything!
    i had a meal out with the family on the hols this year for the 1st ime since my eldest was born and he's just about 16yrs! so that tells ya!
    i have not been out to a pub or anything since he was born either! lol
    but i think that is changing a bit now we have a planned our wedding anniversery(20 yrs) for us to go out as a family in nov to the local harvester(i just dont want to over eat on cals there) :(
  • aa1440
    aa1440 Posts: 956 Member
    No way. Why are you hidding your healthy lifestyle? Are you ashamed of being healthy? Who cares what other people think? You are doing this for yourself, not everyone else. Stop hidding.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,543 Member
    What?? I've never heard of this....who cares what you eat and why you eat, be it fast food or whatever!
  • RedBullLiz
    RedBullLiz Posts: 469 Member
    Yup. Since I started here, I was so happy to show my family what a healthy meal looked like. But the more they saw me eat, the more their meal looked unhealthy... Or so it looked liked.

    Now, I try to eat alone because I feel like they might want to cheat me through this. I'm not gonna lie, I've lied my way for a while but I started to notice the tight feeling in those pants... Hehe, or it was probably my imagination. Anyway, I do get the occasional nudge to try something better or high in calories. It's just really difficult to avoid it when the whole family is eating that, when only I am the healthy eater /:

    What to do... Just eat after they finish.
  • yukimiyazawa
    yukimiyazawa Posts: 83 Member
    i hate eating in front of people, but i also have an eating disorder, so it comes with the territory.

    despite being technically underweight, i feel like people view me as this greedy, disgusting pig whenever i eat in their presence. even at home around my mom, who is constantly pushing me to eat more, i find myself waiting until she's not around before i'll get something from the kitchen. i do most of my eating late at night when everyone is in bed.

    when i'm forced to eat out with family or friends, i do my best to order as little as possible, without raising any suspicion. still, not matter how little i get, i still hate consuming it in front of others. it sucks.
  • roebuck1908
    roebuck1908 Posts: 185
    What ! I can not believe that you have a problem eating in public, Maybe you need some advise from a councillor ?
  • ziggylove
    ziggylove Posts: 57
    Hello, have you talked with your doctor about this? It sounds like you're on the right track since you know it is an unhealthy tendency. Maybe you can slowly start to wean yourself off avoiding people when eating. Try to eat with or in front of people once a day til you're relatively comfortable then gradually increase it. Maybe that'll help you learn to feel less fearful about it. Just a non-medical opinion, but I think you should go talk with your doctor about your struggle and how best to overcome it (without medications!).
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    I can understand being ashamed of eating unhealthy food, when you're obviously fat - I certainly used to be aware of the funny looks when I was a fat *kitten*, and I'm sure that if I were to eat something /healthy/ when being a fat *kitten*, I might get funny looks too..

    Yea, I can understand it.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
    What ! I can not believe that you have a problem eating in public, Maybe you need some advise from a councillor ?

    You have 4 Kgs to loose and have never had people look at your plate and then look at your rear, or make snide comments about cows grazing. I have almost 100 pounds to drop and even though I have lost 50 and do eat healthy, years of conditioning have made me wary. We do go out once a week to a very nice place where all the wait staff and owners are super kind, it's a start. I have a big family gathering at a pizza party this weekend and I cringe at the thought.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
    I can understand being ashamed of eating unhealthy food, when you're obviously fat - I certainly used to be aware of the funny looks when I was a fat *kitten*, and I'm sure that if I were to eat something /healthy/ when being a fat *kitten*, I might get funny looks too..

    Yea, I can understand it.

    Thanks
  • splackk
    splackk Posts: 163
    Yeah, I know what you mean too. Once I hit 140 the first time I stopped eating in public, and even though I wasn't eating in front of people still shot up another 10 to 150, only about a point and a half from being obese for my vertically impaired self. Living in Singapore where the average woman is STILL a touch taller than me but so small I could lift her with my little finger, I felt like a whale. Now I'm smaller and well in the healthy weight range, but I still feel odd eating in front of people that they're judging me, even though now I realize rationally it was probably more in my head from the start.
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    I have never had this problem, even when I weighted 280. I think being embarrassed to eat in public is a sure sign of low self esteem. It It sounds as if you could benefit from talking this out with someone.
  • harleykelly
    harleykelly Posts: 1
    I'm new to this. Eating in public is fairly common in Australia, as the weather is perfect for being outside a lot of the time. I guess that bbq's are my downfall in that I just keep eating and embarass myself. :blushing:
  • claire_xox
    claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
    I'm Aussie too and never used to eat in public.... but I got over that when I started working and obviously needed to eat lunch! Somehow I never had lunch at school!

    But yeah I've been to the US three times and I love it.... but you NEVER see anyone eat... Where do you all do it? I know a few others that have travelled there too and we've all noticed the massive lack of public eating!
  • roebuck1908
    roebuck1908 Posts: 185
    What ! I can not believe that you have a problem eating in public, Maybe you need some advise from a councillor ?

    You have 4 Kgs to loose and have never had people look at your plate and then look at your rear, or make snide comments about cows grazing. I have almost 100 pounds to drop and even though I have lost 50 and do eat healthy, years of conditioning have made me wary. We do go out once a week to a very nice place where all the wait staff and owners are super kind, it's a start. I have a big family gathering at a pizza party this weekend and I cringe at the thought.

    Well done thats a good start, build on the goods thing when you eat out don't give up. :blushing:
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
    I have about 130 pounds to lose, but I have never had a problem eating in public. When you travel for work, you can't. You just can't. So I can eat alone in a restaurant. I usually bring a book or something with me and I retreat into my own world.
  • MSDRIZZ
    MSDRIZZ Posts: 246
    .
  • MSDRIZZ
    MSDRIZZ Posts: 246
    I'm Aussie too and never used to eat in public.... but I got over that when I started working and obviously needed to eat lunch! Somehow I never had lunch at school!

    But yeah I've been to the US three times and I love it.... but you NEVER see anyone eat... Where do you all do it? I know a few others that have travelled there too and we've all noticed the massive lack of public eating!

    You must not have gone to a food court in the mall. Or a fair or festival, at those we walk around and eat. Sometimes we even have festivals honoring food. I have been to a muhroom festival, a cherry festival I'm sure a few more also. This weekend I am going to the Arts for All festival in my town, and plan on being very careful with my eating that morning to I can have half a Gyro and a few bites of a strawberry new orleans.
  • Marcel7
    Marcel7 Posts: 52 Member
    I can definitely understand the discomfort about eating in public. When seeing other people, I always try to remember not to judge others. While some people are overweight, something that everyone can see, perhaps another person is in good physical shape but maxes out their credit cards--not easily seen!

    I love AngelikaLumiere unconditionally because she is my wife. Even if she were just a friend, I would never judge her, or anyone else, for what they eat. We are adults, and we all know for the most part what is good and bad to eat. As my brother said the othe day, sometimes you let yourself go. Hopefully, you don't do that regularly.

    I'm glad everyone is sharing so much on this site. It encourages me to see so many other people pursuing the goal of a more healthy lifestyle.
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
    i used to not care, but i usually eat by myself now where people can't see me. ill go out to dinner but i dont like eating around people if i don't know them...if it's a real problem i would talk to someone. i don't think its a problem with me because i dont get upset if i do eat around people. if it makes you anxious though i would definitely talk to a counselor about it.
  • rachemn
    rachemn Posts: 407 Member
    I get what you're saying...when you are overweight people are always looking at what you're eating and judging you by it. If you are eating healthy they assume you are on a diet and approve, but God forbid you are having a small treat and they instantly come to the conclusion that is why you are overweight.

    I say 'screw them!' When I was very overweight on of my favorite things to do was go out with my friends or family to eat. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks..you name it! Now we still go out, but I make healthy choices and save the sweet treats for at home or special events.
  • catlover98611
    catlover98611 Posts: 38 Member
    This makes me think, so thank you for posting. In Nov of 2010 I joined a group that assigned a food plan to me. I had lapsed into depression and anxiety and had been living on mac and cheese for about a year before that so eating three meals with a variety of foods was a challenge. For the first 5 months of the plan I ate alone, at home or in my car, that's another story, and I ate with my fingers. It was a sensory issue and I do have an eating disorder, so it was easier to eat if I did not use utensils. I started dating in March and I took my dinner with me one night and ate cross legged, in the chair, with my fingers. Bob didn't say a word as he watched me but I was uncomfortable and asked him to not look at me while I ate or I would have to leave. Since then he has come to understand my issues around food, as have I, and only when I am under extreme stress do I revert back to that. I now sit in a chair, feet on the floor, and I use a fork and spoon appropriately. I'm not really uncomfortable in front of people when I eat anymore, but I am always aware, and for Bob's sake, I try not to embarrass him when we eat in public.
  • silkysly
    silkysly Posts: 701 Member
    My best friend, who is much thicker than me, always tries to eat like a baby rabbit in from of me. I know she has to be starving because I am. I think she feels insecure around me, but I don’t know what to do. I’ll take any suggestion on what to say or do…
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
    I get what you're saying...when you are overweight people are always looking at what you're eating and judging you by it. If you are eating healthy they assume you are on a diet and approve, but God forbid you are having a small treat and they instantly come to the conclusion that is why you are overweight.

    I say 'screw them!' When I was very overweight on of my favorite things to do was go out with my friends or family to eat. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks..you name it! Now we still go out, but I make healthy choices and save the sweet treats for at home or special events.

    Well said and good suggestion thanks.
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