Desperately need MOTIVATION and input

akashastrega
akashastrega Posts: 51
in Motivation and Support
I have SEVERAL health issues that have lead to a sedentary lifestyle. Some of those health issues are hormonal creating a double whammy.

A little over a month ago, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and decided to do something, health issues and hormones be damned. I am sticking to a 1560/day caloric intake (which set me up as losing 1 1/2 pound per week). I am almost always within my calories, except on my binge days which I allow once a week and never go over 1890/calories (which sets me to lose 1 pound per week).

I do not do crazy exercise. I walk. I cook. I clean. I walk some more. Which is a LOT more than I have done in a good 5 years. I am slowly building up to walking more and faster...baby steps each week, adding a bit more.

I initially lost 5 pounds, since then, it seems I have gained 10!! What the hell?? People who don't know I am watching my calories or exercising have commented that I appear to be getting my waist back, yet the scale keeps going up, up, up. I am losing my motivation from this. I do not have a scale at home so I depend on my doctor's office scale or the scale at my dad's house. Both scales, while they differ from each other, are showing me gaining weight, not losing it.

Should I just say "screw losing weight and hoping to get into that sexy red dress, at least you can tie your shoes now and are feeling healthier" or should I keep at trying to lose the weight as well as get healthier?? Or is it a lost cause??

I know it took me 5 years to gain the weight, but when my oncologist yesterday suggested bariatric surgery (spelling??) I about wet myself then wanted to cry into a tub of B&J Schweddy Balls or Cherry Garcia!! I didn't, but OH did I want to. Did she not see that I have been busting my *kitten* to stay "faithful" to the MFP calories set for me?? Did she not see that I can now see AND touch my toes and tie my shoes??

HOW DO YOU STAY MOTIVATED AND "FAITHFUL" WHEN THE SCALE AND OTHER THINGS MAKE YOU WANT TO QUIT AND SAY "SCREW IT, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN FOR ME"???

I know hormones are a big issue to overcome. I know asthma and arthritis are also biggies (I deal with both), but I have tried to not let them stop me--even if they do slow me a bit. Are my health problems just too much for this body to beat??

Replies

  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
    i'm not the one to talk about motivation right now.. since i don't have it at this moment either.

    I know - the only way to do it is - to keep pushing.. not giving up . to find it in you . noone else cando it for us.. we can have 1001 chearleaders.. but we are the one that have to sweat and work.

    so many reasons why your scale could go up. but i understand your frustration- i'm in the same bs. i try hard.. nothing.. i try super hard.. i could lose 2-3 lbs in a month.. i stop the " super hard " bc i'm exhausted.. and not that i can " maintain " noooo.. i go right back up .. well some ppl will say - ok when you stop do you b inge ? my answer is.. if you are an addict.. a motivationa eater. you do everything you can to lose that weight, you fight and struggle, sweat and discipline, and sweat more .. and work harder, and plan your meals, and count the kcls and log the food .. and than you step on the scale and you see what ? 1 lbs down in 2-3 weeks ? or even 4-5 up - every time when the time of the months is approaching i get 4-5 lbs .. and than it takes me 2 weeks to get back to " old weight " and than back up again.. and so it goes.. that stupid cycle that i just don't seam to get out of..

    now i ask you - if you were an emotional eater - wouldn't you binge ? of course than that adds more weight.. than that adds more frustration.. more cycles..

    alcoholics can go to rehab
    drug addicts can go to rehab

    and after they are " clean and sober " no one even thinks of offering them a glass of wine or a drug dose.. everyone is " proud of them " and supportive and helps them stay away from it.

    now - why don't food addicts have some type of rehab - that is covered by insurance ? that is aknowledged as a deasseas ?
    and of course there will be always food.. so we will never be able just to " stay away from it " if you are an emotional eater.. or bolimic.. binge eater.. heck i can overeat on cucumbers ! you just eat and eat and eat..

    i wish i had an answer to your question- bc. .that would answer my questions too.

    what is bothering me in so me way is that such a huge % of usa- population is obese- and we still don't have a " wellness insurance " i mean you hae to be diabetic or something to get some type of coverege maybe or help.. but why don't they help us BEFORE we are all screwed up ?
    why don't the spend some more money on us to cover maybe some personal trainers - not just " nutricionists " .. why don't they cover some more herbal/ vitamin etc stuff .. to " prevent " some of this stuff.. i mean isn't it cheaper to pay for a few " well visits " and herbs - than to pay for all the diabetic medication etc,. of course .. the pharmacy industry doesn't want a healthy society .. i mean what would they make money out of ? they want a lethargic, sic, obese, depressed - clinicly depressed society that keeps paying .. for more and more and getting sicker every day ..

    i guess this was my " vent " for the day .. rather than an answer to your question.. i appologize if it is in the wrong place..i didn't have any intention to write all of this but it just .. spilled out ..
  • akashastrega
    akashastrega Posts: 51
    No, I appreciated your thread hijacking (LOL) it lets me know that I am not alone in my frustration!! That's a start.
  • jonniemarie1
    jonniemarie1 Posts: 77 Member
    so there are a number of things that can be happening... and i am no dietitian or anything, but i am in school to become one, and i just looked over your food diary... you don't seem to be eating consistently, you have all of these meals set up but you normally eat about 3 meals a day. i definitely would recommend to change that to eat every few hours... it'll help regulate your blood sugar throughout the day which should help you...
    also, take out the sugar... no chai lattes or sugar-filled yogurt or anything else with high sugar
    take out the white carbohydrates... they cause a huge insulin level increase in a very short amount of time... high insulin levels=absorption of fat= inhibitor to your weight loss
    also, make sure you eat the right amount of calories.... some days i noticed you were veryyyy low. being lower than your body needs is good, but being too low is just going to reverse any metabolic speed you want to create!
    please increase the exercise!! i completely understand that you have some health issues, and i congratulate you on being a survivor!! but i am not saying to go run 10 miles.... just walk at least a half hour a day, and you will see results (not to sound mean, but i would not really consider cleaning and stuff exercise... you need to sweattttttt)

    i hope that you take some of my advice and it helps!! please let me know =) and good luck.... do NOT give up... it will get you nowhere! just miserable, which will in turn make you not want to work hard in your efforts... things dont come easy, so just make sure you stay positive! and the scale should be the determining factor!!! go by how you feel
  • Jennieam
    Jennieam Posts: 300 Member
    Have you been takin other body measurements, apart from the scales? Perhaps you are building muscle through additional exercise?

    I realise that we are all different - but I would keep away from a "binge" day for a couple of weeks, to see whether that makes a difference.

    I tackle my weight-loss one month at a time - I am sure that I can keep to my calorie limit for one month. At the end of that period, I re-evaluate, and decide that I can continue for another month, and so on.

    All the best
  • akashastrega
    akashastrega Posts: 51
    I appreciate the input.

    I will not give up the yogurt though. I have only one kidney (since the age of 5). I am prone to kidney and bladder infections, and yogurt keeps me regulated without the need for drugs to regulate me...and when it doesn't I drink massive amounts of pure cranberry juice (not cocktails, but the sour, bitter stuff) which I know has sugars but again, I prefer to deal with my health issues in a natural manner rather than a pharmaceutical manner.

    Perhaps that is part of what my problem is. In any case, I just had my annual, and I am really sick of the doc looking at my fat *kitten* then putting me through a bunch of tests and taking gallons of blood only to tell me (rather sheepishly) that my cholesterol levels are amazing, that I show no signs of heart or liver damage, that while my entire family is diabetic, I have perfect blood sugar levels and no signs of diabetes. I think that physical yesterday was what stalled my motivation.
  • Dragongrl
    Dragongrl Posts: 186 Member
    Hey!!! Don't give up! Like you, I've lost inches but have put back on like three pounds! I'm thinking, "How is this POSSIBLE?" But instead of being self defeating and just quit (again) I'm going to stick with the calorie counting, and as much excercise I as I can muster and see where that gets me. Wanna be friends?
  • akashastrega
    akashastrega Posts: 51
    Hey!!! Don't give up! Like you, I've lost inches but have put back on like three pounds! I'm thinking, "How is this POSSIBLE?" But instead of being self defeating and just quit (again) I'm going to stick with the calorie counting, and as much excercise I as I can muster and see where that gets me. Wanna be friends?

    Accepted!! I know I have hit a plateau, and like Bruce (and my siggy says) I must not stay here, so let's do this together.
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
    Are you logging every single thing you eat? Condiments have calories too.

    What is your physical activity level set at? IF you are not set at sedentary, is it possible you've given yourself too many calories to eat?

    Is it possible you aren't eatting enough calories? I also noticed quite a few days under calories. I do go under myself but I always eat at the very least my base amount given by MFP.

    I don't count cleaning unless its deep cleaning my floors or something like yardwork that I don't normally do. As I read elsewhere (and am paraphrasing), I got fat while doing every day cleaning so I can't count on every day cleaning to help me get healthier.

    Other than that, just stick with it. I lost 12lbs then gained 8 and now I'm back down to 14 lost or so. These things happen. At least now you can tie your shoes and bend over! This is a great accomplishment!
  • akashastrega
    akashastrega Posts: 51
    Are you logging every single thing you eat? Condiments have calories too.

    What is your physical activity level set at? IF you are not set at sedentary, is it possible you've given yourself too many calories to eat?

    Is it possible you aren't eatting enough calories? I also noticed quite a few days under calories. I do go under myself but I always eat at the very least my base amount given by MFP.

    I don't count cleaning unless its deep cleaning my floors or something like yardwork that I don't normally do. As I read elsewhere (and am paraphrasing), I got fat while doing every day cleaning so I can't count on every day cleaning to help me get healthier.

    Other than that, just stick with it. I lost 12lbs then gained 8 and now I'm back down to 14 lost or so. These things happen. At least now you can tie your shoes and bend over! This is a great accomplishment!

    The only condiments I use are mayo and mustard and I do log those and include them in my recipes.

    My physical activity is set at sedentary with no exercise planned, so that my calories are based on me just sitting on my butt and doing absolutely nothing else.

    I am under my calories, but usually not by more than 200 calories...which is something as simple as a slice of buttered toast.

    I clean once or twice a week and only count it in my logs if it is REALLY cleaning, not doing dishes...I mean scrubbing counters and floors, using the vacuum...that is what I count as cleaning. I also count grocery shopping because I am lifting heavy loads as I shop at Sams Club most of the time (or places like that where I can buy bulk)...I also count grocery shopping because I log in a few thousand steps each time I do it...which for me is more activity than I usually do. My main activity comes from walking at night. I am asthmatic so I don't always go 30 minutes, but I do keep a fair clip (average is 2.8 mph when going slow, 3.2 mph when walking my dogs). I also track my walks on my droid so I know I am getting an accurate distance/time.

    **Back in the "old" days, I used to be VERY athletic. I did figure skating in my teens (blew out my knee and had to quit), walked the hills of SFO daily in my 20s because I didn't own a car and went dancing every single weekend. I was never Kate Moss thin, more Katarina Witt thin. I am built like an NFL player and even when I was at a nutrition depleting weight, looked thick. I have been well-endowed since I was 11, and am pretty sure the "girls" weigh 20-30 pounds by themselves. I have always had what my friends like to call a "black booty" (no offense meant to anyone, and not really sure what that means other than my butt has always been round and not flat)...POINT IS...I am starting to wonder if I am bulking up with muscle...because I have always been more bulky in muscle mass (like a WWE wrestler) than lanky in muscle mass (like a competitive swimmer or ballet dancer).

    Should I just be happy that people are commenting that I look to be slimming up and say to hell with the scale??

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