Lost. Confused. Need support / advice!

If you want to change your body, strength training is your friend! Lifting heavy is the key. Women think they need to lift light and do 15 - 20 reps. That will get you NOWHERE fast! There are many threads on here regarding women & lifting. I've seen many recommend a book "New Rules of Lifting for Women" or something like that. (although, I haven't read it). But, my trusted MFP friends seem to think it's a great place for a woman to start.

It's probably not your weight that is the problem. I'm just guessing that your body just looks "soft". Ideally, you want to look firm. In order to look firm, you need to build some muscle!

Doctors are usually experts in the health field. I see mine every month.

Maybe you need to increase your intake and balance for the lifestyle you have.

The extra intake will give you extra energy to 'tone' areas.

Pilates, yoga, dancing and weights may be the go ... just from what I read.

I still have 20kg to go - I'm gonna need a LOT of work when it's gone.

In the meantime, don't listen to them ... love yourself, and love the skin you're in. You got one shot at this and YOU are the only one ultimately responsible.

Use the negative to springboard yourself towards the positive.

Feel free to message me or reply if you wish to vent.

I wish you well as you walk forward.

Gary

i know how you feel. I'm a few pounds off my target weight and still really couldn't say I was 100% happy with the results so far. My body just seems to have shrunk in the same shape lol

Try having a word with one of the gym instructors who will talk you through the machines and free weights and show you how to use them all correctly. They will probably even set you up some kind of routine to maximise your workout. I found this so helpful when I started lifting weights. I've heard of a book New Rules for lifting for women mentioned a few times on here so I might go see if I can dig that out from somewhere today

Good luck though - feel free to message if you need support

It sounds like you have done brilliantly and now you need to sculpt your body to achieve the results you would like.

Weights all the way baby!!!

Please look at my blog if you would like to know more

Fro your pictures I would say you look fab! However it's important that you are happy with your body yourself. I am not an expert but here are some suggestions. Try adding some squats and lunges to tone bum and thighs (they really do work!) And some ab work for your tummy such as pilates and crunches. I personally think now that you have reached your goal weight that it would be better for you to focus on toning rather then losing more.

Have you tried the 30 day shred? That has amazing results!

Spot on scoobies. Pilates is the way to go.Has added benefits as well, if you know what I mean Add zumba for some waist work, gives you flexibility and works well on your lateralls (I think that is the muscles on the side).

BTW can you get 30Day Shred in UK? - not seen it in HMV or anywhere.

This has been my personal experience with 1200 calorie dieting:

I have lost 15 pounds twice in the last five years, with two different starting points and two different calorie goals. The first time I went from 135ish to 120ish (at 1200/day and mainly cardio) and the second time a few years later I went from 155ish to 140ish (at 1400-1500/day and circuit training [P90X, 30DS]). I am still working towards losing another 15 pounds (goal weight of 130), but having done it both ways I am without a doubt going the 1400-1500 calories route combined with strength and circuit training.

When I started the 1200 calorie/day eating plan I was stoked because I was dropping weight fast, and it only took me a couple of months to reach my goal of 120. Having said that I don't think my body had ever looked worse, nor has it looked worse since. I got all kinds of negative comments from friends and family, lost my bum and my boobs, and I still had fat in all my trouble zones. I have since read that when your body is in a healthy weight category to begin with and you are trying to lose weight, you should proceed with a much smaller calorie defecit to get optimal results. For me at 5'6" I think it was around 1400-1600 calories depending on my activity level. After my 1200 calorie days those numbers scared me too in case you're wondering! But apparently when you don't have much to lose and you reduce your calories drastically (read 1200 calorie range), your body will burn lean musle mass instead of fat. That explained why I had the appearance of a fat skinny person after months of dieting and hard work on the eliptical.

Operating under a more reasonable calorie deficit will make you lose weight MUCH slower (.5-1 pound/week or so) which I found difficult the second time around, but it is supposed to help ensure that what you are burning off is fat and not lean musle. As much as the slower progress was frustrating the second time around, I can without a doubt say that the results were 100 times better. Even now at 140 pounds I am getting compliments on my size and shape that I never got at 120 pounds. I have found there to be a major difference in how quickly you lose the weight and how much (AND WHAT) you are eating to lose it. Also, the kind of exercise you do to tone your body is so crucial. My one hour long cardio days got me nothing but a smaller version of myself, problem areas all intact. But, the time I currently put in doing circuit and strength training is paying off in inches, and I see little differences in my shape every week.

I have also been able to encorporate loads more healthy and delicious food into a 1400-1500 calorie eating plan then I ever did at 1200. And since my fiancé and I LOVE good food it has made the journey that much easier all around. The extra calories is DEFINITELY worth the slower progress scale wise. But on days when I've worked out more I've had up to 1600-1800 calories without slowing my weight loss progress at all. That's the other important (and much debated thing) that I have found. I ALWAYS eat a little more on days that I exercise. Exercise calories are a huge debate on MFP but I've had a lot of success eating about half of them.

Having said all of this since you have already lost the weight, all I can suggest is a gradual increase in calories up to what is recomended for your body size, weight and activity level. I would proceed VERY gradually and like someone else mentioned give every change in calories a couple of weeks for your body to adjust. You could also zig zag a bit at first and consume your usual 1250 calories one day and an increased level the next (although I jumped right up to 1400-1500 and waited a couple weeks for everything to balance out so I can't attest to zig zagging.) It just sounds like it might be easier on your peace of mind. To balance your increase in calories I would swap your current workout routine for a circuit training dvd or class, or buy a few different ones and switch them up to maintain the challenge and your interest. I can't say enough about Gillian Michaels and 30 day shred, and have heard great things about her other videos too. I also alternate with a few of the P90X tapes that I like (legs and back, core synergistics, ab ripper, and kenpo [kickboxing]). And lastly I would say take pictures. It's amazing the differences you DON'T notice without them. Especially differences in toning and smoothing versus size and shape. A picture says a thousand words!

Anyways this is super long but I hope you can take something out of it. I just really identified with what you're going through and I hope everything works out to your satisfaction! To sum it up, eat more and work out smarter! :flowerforyou:

Just like what everyone else has said, you've gotten down to your ideal weight and now you just need to sculpt your body in order to get it firmer. Weights and exercises that help to tone you are going to be your best friend, seriously. Yoga, pilates, and maybe even some dance classes are going to be really good for toning your body. Also a lot of exercises that work your core like planks are going to help flatten your stomach, and a variety of ab exercises that work all three main muscle groups will too. Don't just focus on cardio at this point, balance your work-outs so you include some cardio and some strength training. If you incorporate them both you'll probably finally see the results you really want!

And congrats on your awesome progress!

I am also a small girl so take this for what it is worth - at 5'6" 110-115 you're bordering on a low weight. I got down to 102 and at 5'4", it was too low. I upped my calories and started weight training, and gained 8 pounds in muscle. I look so much better now, I dropped body fat even though I increased my weight and I still fit in the same clothes.

My advice is up your calores to 1500, stop doing endless cardio and start lifting some heavy weights. That is the way to drop the unwanted fat, especially in the areas you're complaining about, like the thighs/butt area.

I agree with kdiamond 100%. You need to up the calories and do heavier weights. You'll have to do some research or pay one of those trainers to help if you don't know what you're doing though. There are a lot of threads on here about women's weight lifting you can read, so that should be helpful. To get rid of the fat you have left, you need to build muscle and that will have you putting on some weight, but you'll get the leaner ripped body you want. So, less cardio (don't cut it out completely though) and more weights. And more food! You could probably go even higher than 1500 a day and that would help build muscle.

You look stunning xx You are young, but yes you need to feel good about yourself!!

Keep us posted on what you choose to do x

Try looking on some bodybuilding forums - I'm serious. They really know their stuff in terms of losing or gaining the right kind of weight. When you have less to lose, you want to make sure your losing the right kind of weight (fat, not muscle). While adding more strength training is good, there are some things they do to really fine tune what happens to their body.

One thing I got from reading them: eat carbs in the morning and eat your simplest carbs directly after a workout (like today, I went for a 10 mile run and then ate a bowl of ice cream for recovery - I have to tell you, I usually crash after a long run like that, but today I was full of energy. The worst time to have ice cream would be for desert). I've also started eating cottage cheese as my last meal of the day - supposedly it has casein which is a slow digesting protein which is good to have before a fast (i.e. bed) so that your metabolism stays active as you're sleeping and it preserves your muscles.

Anyway - they seem to know their stuff, and if you're already in the healthy weight range their tricks are tried and tested and can benefit us too - who don't want to be bulky but want to get rid of that stubborn fat that hangs on til the end. Hope that helps