Lost 30+ lbs, figured out why I'm at a plateu, and had a non-scale victory!

Daeygur · January 2023

May 31, 2022, I weighed 390 lbs and I decided that enough was enough. I couldn't fit in the bathtub, (TMI) couldn't wipe my own butt, and couldn't even get out of bed without help. Walking around and shopping was impossible. I was actually wanting to just give up then and there.

Well, since May 31 2022 to August 18 2022 I lost 30+ pounds from just cutting down my portions. If I bought KFC I'd eat half of what I usually did, wait for twenty minutes before I wanted another, and then afterwards it was shocking how I didn't want another plate at all! Unfortunately, since August my weight has fluctuated on the scale. I keep going from 360 to 352 to 357 then back down to 352.

I haven't counted calories at all during my first 30+. I've been cutting portions in half and eating more greens with my food. I gave up fast food (it tastes like poo now that I cook at home), and barely crave sweets. Unfortunately, I didn't know why I kept maintaining my weight despite my healthier habits.

Well...today I tracked my calories, and it turns out that even though at 390 pounds I was eating at a deficit...but at 352 I'm eating Maintenace calories. That boggles my mind. So, now I'm incorporating calorie counting into my lifestyle change because...wow that's kinda eye opening.

Anyways, I did have two non-scale victory today. I did a kickboxing workout, and for the first time it felt like I was back in Middle School playing sports. I was an athletic kid, and looooved sports so much but unfortunately, I had terrible coaches that took my love of sports into a self-deprecating why-am-I-even-bothering mindset.

Now that I'm an adult it's been hard finding a workout that I can stick too. Mostly, cause I hate working out. I hate walking on treadmills, doing weight lifting, and zumba classes but when it comes to sports I do a 180. Kickboxing gave me that adrenaline, that love back, and now I'm more than excited to wake up tomorrow and do another session. Granted it was only for 5 minutes (my legs are very weak from being out of shape for 10+ years), but I enjoyed the heck out of it.

Now, my second non-scale victory.

I have a shirt that I've worn for years. At 390 lbs it barely fit past my middle. I couldn't even put it over my butt. Well, today I put it on and...I'm going to have to throw it away!!!! It literally falls down my arms! If I wear it to bed then I wake up half naked because that's how big it is now! I didn't think I was losing weight because the scale wasn't moving (plus I was eating at maintenance), but the fact that my shirt barely fits me anymore is mind blowing!

So, I wanted to share a bit of my success on here. I'm very excited to keep on going!

Unknown · January 2023

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snowflake954 · January 2023

I also applaud you. Congratulations on making changes. Keep making them and you will get to goal. It's probably time to log your food, at least for awhile. Exercising is not necessary for weight loss, but as mentioned above, will be good for your health--especially as you age. Many people walk to start, but it's important that you do something you like and will stick to. Consistency and persistence are your friends.

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping to hear a new success story in the future.

PAFC84 · January 2023

Great stuff. I'm pleased that you have decided to start this journey for yourself. I'm also pleased that when your weight started to fluctuate that you did not give up; that is something that may well happen numerous times as you lose more weight.

Also finding exercise that you enjoy is really half the battle. You'll always be more motivated to do stuff you like over stuff you don't like.

You've made a lot of healthy choices so far. Great work

Daeygur · January 2023

Fit2btied2016 wrote: »

Congrats to you! Have a hug. I "hate" it (notice my choice of words? It will become more relevant why I point that out later on...) when there's such a dramatic post as yours and nobody else posts words, but just a "like" etc. It's no suprise, but it's invalidating if you ask me, because you bared a lot of sensitive information, and I GUARANTEE you that there's a lot of others in your shoes at the same weight or higher that are hiding out, or too embarrassed or ashamed to admit where they are at. So, I am glad that you are still here and that you didn't give up. ***That takes a lot of courage, and it takes a lot of courage to post your situation. ***I also sincerely hope from my heart that you keep going and can find supportive friends here on this site in a similar weight group to help motivate you. I cannot relate to being that big myself, but I can relate very much to caring for people in your size and much bigger, and all of the issues that you have identified and more.

Because of that, I am sorry that I cannot be one to support you in a friendship role in a personal sense here, as it will just open old wounds that I no longer wish to deal with and have tried to move on from and need to move on from for my own mental health and my own journey. I cannot stress enough that you are in a VERY small minority of people to decide they have had enough and actually take concrete steps to do something. Usually what ends up happening is the person that is very heavy says, "I give up." And they keep eating more, because the depression is so deep they get further in a vicious cycle.

We literally would use a ceiling lift to care for a person of your size at work, and I am saying that not to rain on your parade, but to THANK-YOU that you are, by the sounds of it, starting to sincerely work at improving and changing your life and health!! Keep going! Find support within your friends, family, a support group at your local hospital, counsellor, and whatever else you can get hold of to KEEP YOUR MOMENTUM GOING, PLEASE, for your own health and well-being, and that of your family, friends, and healthcare workers. There is a trickle-down effect when people are really heavy. It's like a rock that makes ripples on a pond. Those ripples extend out to people that you would never meet, but are impacted by weights such as yours. Of course, no excess weight is good, and as I mentioned, I need to keep my mental container in check and not dwell on the past. I have no intention to go back to doing what I did, and I have a permanent back injury because of it, but that doesn't mean that I don't still have compassion for your situation or you. I may not feel sorry for you though, and there is a difference between those things. You don't need anyone else to feel sorry for you. You need someone that is detached enough to be supportive, without taking on your situation, and to allow you to grow stronger and to help you believe in yourself and actually build on your successes so you can keep going. Mental, physical, spiritual, emotional. Those are the things you need to work on in each area, and in tiny, or baby-steps. You are mind, body, and spirit, and they together make up the whole, which is you.

YOU ARE WORTH IT! In case nobody ever told you that you are ;-)

Keep going!! It will take a lot of time, effort, falls, getting up and continuing on, and baby steps. BELIEVE in yourself, and that you are worthy of love, and of loving yourself more. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, and OF LOVING YOURSELF MORE. Say that to yourself as many times as possible until it sinks in and you actually believe it. Change your thoughts! You are so on the right track with starting out with your portions. How about next starting out with scheduling KFC on your calendar? Instead of just randomly going, try putting "Go to KFC on Thursday," and make it like a once a week treat. (That's 4 x a month, for the first month). Are you willing to give that a try? The idea, of course, is to visit KFC less. It is very high is sodium (for starters), and I have no doubt that once you can reduce the KFC visits, that you will suddenly lose a bunch more weight from water retention. Next try scheduling KFC to once every 2 weeks (Twice a month) the next month. Then it will be once a month, and then once every 2 months, then once every 3 months, and so on. If KFC is your biggest "weakness" in terms of food, then wean yourself if you can't go cold-turkey. I like KFC chicken, too, but a couple times a year is plenty for me, and anymore than that takes away from the "treat factor" for me. It's just way too salty and greasy, but I guess it's part nostalgia for me.

Anyway, in terms of "hating" exercise or "working out," hate is a strong word. With patience and persistence, you will have to do things that you never thought you could, and there may come a point where you need to lift weights to help you in your journey. Sorry, but you will have to in order to build back up your strength and weak legs, for starters. You may also have bone density issues happening, and your joints will have been suffering. Weights help strengthen your bones to allow your skeleton to keep supporting you. HINT: If you want to be able to use the toilet and care for yourself in this manner and under your own steam, then you NEED TO BUILD UP your quadriceps muscles, for starters, or else you may not be able to continue to do this on your own as you get into your senior years. Your spinal muscles support your skeleton, and your core muscles aid in this process. You NEED to develop your core muscles under all that belly fat. This will help strengthen your back and allow you to be more upright and so on. Then you have your hamstrings muscles. You need to help get those going. Muscles need to be worked to stay healthy.

You have a long journey, but as you say, you have been this way for "10 years" (or more?), so give yourself 2 years as a reasonable window.

So take "hate" out of your vocabulary if you want to be fully successful in all this ;-) Reframe it as, "I would really rather not work-out, or exercise or lift weights, but I am choosing to learn to do so because I know deep down it is for my own best self." The more you do something, the more easy it will be! Walking is a form of weight-bearing, btw, so...

Try walking! Walking is ideal for your situation. Get a good supportive pair of running shoes and orthotics if necessary. Head to an actual running store and get a computer analysis of your gait (how you walk/move) and your shoe size and width, etc. Treat your walking like it's a daily-must-do, and schedule it on your planner, or whatever. Bring some tunes with you, or just enjoy getting out and having your head in the fresh air. Cancel out negative thoughts in your head as much as possible. "I am choosing to walk today! I am fortunate that I still CAN walk under my own power!" "I will walk a little more and better after each week that passes!"

Find a little person like a toddler to walk if you know any and their parents, and bring them if you are worried about how slow you are. Toddlers often like to stop and explore and go slowly, so revel in the wonderment from their eyes and enjoy the moment.

Go against your first inclination, which will be to "take the easy route" when things get difficult. You need to find out WHY your weight has been a problem, and be brutally honest with how you deal with your emotions, stress, past memories, and what went wrong in the last 10 years to get you to this point. Unravel those threads one by one until you have a good idea of what happened so you can process everything and heal and move forward.

Be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself, and as I said, find people in the same boat here who are willing to support you in a more personal sense. It will possibly make things easier for you when you get to certain hurdles you may not have thought about. (The more a person weighs, the higher the likelihood of hurdles that are different for people that are just 20 or 30 or 50 lbs. overweight, etc.)

I wish you all the best and hope that you are not discouraged or put off. We all have our "stuff" to work through with health/fitness/weight loss, and anyone that denies they do is lying. ;-) So good luck to you, chin up, persevere, be patient, and get a journal to write stuff down when you are down/feeling like it's too hard, or whatever. Sometimes seeing things on paper gives you a better idea of what to do next, and where to go, or will help a counsellor help you sort stuff out if theres's some sort of trauma involved, etc.

Cheers :-) Keep on loving yourself and DON'T GIVE UP! (Go find Josh Groban singing that and listen to it and the words...)

Thank you for your advice. I've mostly done all those healthy habits since May 2022. I've also been to therapists over the years and have discovered a lot of reasons why I became the size that I am today. I also don't even eat fast food anymore, so going to KFC at all makes me sick to my stomach and I refuse to even finish the meal. That said, sports are very much my exercise and walking or anything that doesn't really take my interest really won't benefit me in the long run. So, Kickboxing is my new way to exercise as not only does it build strength, but also endurance that can make me more inclined to do other sporty exercises.

Hitting rock bottom really punched me in the face, and since then I really became determined to lose weight (something I've never succeeded at before). So, nothing will discourage me from keeping on going because I refuse to even get back to that point in my life. Luckily, my legs are still well built from the years of Softball, Cheerleading, Soccer, and Basketball so the kickboxing is helping me strengthen the muscles back plus letting my inner competitive athlete out (even if it's on the screen).

I've been doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for a while, so whenever I feel discouraged, I rework my negative thoughts into new ones. Not only that, but my goals are the reasons why I keep pushing on despite me fluctuating for a few months.

Goal #1 the most important: Being able to have kids one day without complications.
Goal #2: Being able to stay around, play with them, and support them as they grow up. Give them healthy life lessons from my own experiences and build them up so that they never lack confidence in doing anything they want.
Goal #3: Going to University (I tried multiple times, but couldn't walk around campus), getting my Bachelor's in English, Master's and maybe, if I'm lucky, my PHD to become a professor one day.
Goal #4: Where the clothes I've always wanted to wear but couldn't wear due to my size.
Goal #5: Be in a happy and healthy relationship with a person who has similar undeterred and headstrong ambitious personality.

Again, thank you for replying I really appreciate it!

Daeygur · January 2023

PAFC84 wrote: »

Great stuff. I'm pleased that you have decided to start this journey for yourself. I'm also pleased that when your weight started to fluctuate that you did not give up; that is something that may well happen numerous times as you lose more weight.

Also finding exercise that you enjoy is really half the battle. You'll always be more motivated to do stuff you like over stuff you don't like.

You've made a lot of healthy choices so far. Great work

Thank you so much!! I think the rock bottom that I experienced really brought out my former athletic competitiveness, and since then I'm becoming very successful in my new lifestyle change. Before my past self was constantly holding me back, telling me lies about myself, and was trying to get me to give up entirely. My future self was a very quiet voice, but it was there yelling at me to get off my *kitten* and meet her.

Now, my past self is angry and screaming at me, but my future self is screaming louder and is now pulling on my arms harder than ever and pushing me in the right direction. Pushing me to her, my future, and places that I belong until I'm at the point where I can look back at my past self and say "Adios." Lolol

Daeygur · January 2023

snowflake954 wrote: »

I also applaud you. Congratulations on making changes. Keep making them and you will get to goal. It's probably time to log your food, at least for awhile. Exercising is not necessary for weight loss, but as mentioned above, will be good for your health--especially as you age. Many people walk to start, but it's important that you do something you like and will stick to. Consistency and persistence are your friends.

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping to hear a new success story in the future.

Thank you! Yeah, exercise isn't as important as diet, but coming from a former athlete and seeing my muscles and everything I worked hard for years on start to deteriorate to the point that I can't even lift up cat litter kind of put me into a mindset of "You can lose all your weight through diet, but what's the point if you're weaker than your 86 year old grandmother???? You're an athlete! You lived half your life doing sports before you spiraled into depression and what not, so get up off your butt and start being that athlete." Instead of thinking of it as "working out" I have to manipulate my mind with reverse psychology and say, "practicing kickboxing, or training for kickboxing." Lmaooo because if I don't and say "Oh, crap I need to workout today." Yeah, I'm not going to get up and doing it. But if I say, "Oh, crap I need to train for kickboxing today." Then I'm more inclined to get up off my rump and start kickboxing.

It's the strangest thing really HAHAHA. I'm very excited to share a new success story in the future and hopefully by this summer I have many success stories to post. XDD

Ghostofachance · January 2023

I started at roughly the same weight as you. It's taken a long time, with a lot of successes and setbacks along the way, but I finally reached and have maintained a weight where I am comfortable in my own skin. Some unsolicited advice: 1) use a food scale and log your food. It can be quite a surprise when you find out your serving of protein is 2x-3x what you thought it was by eyeballing it. 2) Drink plenty of water. 3) If you have a rough day, chalk it up as just that and start fresh tomorrow - this is the key one for me. Keeping a positive mental attitude and taking a long view of what you're accomplishing will help you. 4) If you hit an extended plateau, don't get discouraged; rather, adjust what you're doing. What works today may not work tomorrow.

Good luck and know there are people who are rooting for your continued success.

nay0m3 · January 2023

You're an athlete~ KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT! Talk to yourself as the person you know you are inside underneath the depression, the extra pounds, the emotions--I am SO happy for you!!!!! Let your future self be your guide.

Daeygur · January 2023

nay0m3 wrote: »

You're an athlete~ KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT! Talk to yourself as the person you know you are inside underneath the depression, the extra pounds, the emotions--I am SO happy for you!!!!! Let your future self be your guide.

Thank you so much!!!!! I definitely will!!!!

))

mjc614900 · January 2023

Whether or not the scale shows a change, when your habits change and your relationship with food changes, every day is a victory. Good for you.

lacylucy1935 · January 2023

Good for you, keep going and even if you trip up we are al human. Just get right back on and in no time you will see that you CAN and WILL do this!

I love FP, it showed me where my calories are going and that I was no getting enough protein...good luck!

Mahlers_2nd · January 2023

I just wanted to say that I started at nearly the same weight this past year. I could soooo relate to your challenges that have prompted you to change!

I chose a different route (gastric bypass which many here may view as “cheating” or “the easy way out”) and am down nearly 80 pounds… I still have a long way to go but am thrilled to have my mobility and life back!

Keep up the great work! In terms of exercise, they say the best exercise is the one you will do consistently so (for now) forget about the “perfect” exercise routine etc and focus on the “good”, if that makes sense. Find motivation, fun, and joy from wherever you can and don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Obviously, what you are doing is working right now and you’ve shown one of the most important skills: the ability to analyze the situation and adapt when you need to.

Hang in there and continue to enjoy the ride!

atrgemini · January 2023

I've been on a 220 plateau for a minute now so I feel your pain friend. 30 pounds is amazing work. Keep at it and count the calories - it works.

I used to log my exercises as well, so I had more realistic information about what I could eat for the day. I've since learned it's much better to just set the value and leave it alone - meaning, even if you exercise, don't give yourself the extra calories back. I assure you - this will help you break your stall.

Cheers and keep up the good work!

clprieur · January 2023

Hey! Amazing work!! I can totally relate, as a person who was always over 300+ lbs after age 13. It is extremely hard work to keep making decisions that support your goal. (Have you heard of "decision fatigue"?) You should be proud of yourself for all the good decisions you have been making these past several months! Now hooray, you want to take it next level (calorie counting) and you will see what a shock it is to find out how "expensive" everything is, calorically speaking! I myself lost 100+ lbs a couple of times as a young person, but I could never manage to maintain the weight loss. I eventually got gastric bypass at age 35, and lost about 170 lbs, and honestly, I wish I would have done it sooner (life is so much friggin easier when you're not 300+ lbs!!!). I am now 53 and I continue to struggle with regain (I keep losing and gaining the same 60 lbs) so it was not, for me anyways, "the easy way out" but I now go between 170-210 lbs, typically, (on a 5'5" frame), which is still a LOT easier in terms of walking around, going up stairs, getting in and out of a car, carrying the cat litter, doing groceries, showering, sitting down in a restaurant, not feeling so terrible about eating in public, buying clothes... the list goes on and on. I think the key is just keep at it, no matter which way you choose to try to stay healthy. I took up the motto "I might go down, but I'm going down swinging", and I just get up and keep trying, every day. The one thing I can say that shocked me when I figured it out: EVERYONE has to eat properly and exercise to stay in shape and maintain a healthy weight. That blew my mind, because I always thought that skinny folks were just "lucky" and I was "unlucky". Nope, they just eat less and move more. Anyway, please feel free to add me as a friend, if you want, even though I made different choices in my weight loss journey. I am happy to try to support you as you KEEP MOVING FORWARD!! GOOOOO YOUUUUUU!!!

allaboutthecake · January 2023

Kickboxing is a fun sport and a fun workout. Awesome for you

Sand_TIger · January 2023

Kickboxing is cool - those are also some great NSVs! Figuring out what was going on, then implementing a solution, is ANOTHER NSV.

I'd like to gently argue with something you said though. Your legs are NOT weak. I'd like to see a 150 pound weight lifter doing a kickboxing workout with 200 pounds of plates in a weight vest- they would find it hard too. Your legs are actually doing pretty well and you are stronger than you think!

It's wonderful you are finding ways to engage your passion and have fun.

carekey56 · January 2023

You are truly an inspiration to many!

I am 67 and after many years of on and off dieting and trying to get more healthy, I have finally started down my health journey and found a "diet" that I can live with. And I mean just that, I plan to stay on this program as a way of life. I started in July 2022 but didn't get my new way of eating adjusted for me until September and it is working for me. I have lost 25 lbs now and my doctor no longer categorizes me as Diabetic.

My aging body restricts me from doing a lot of exercises. I walk as much as I can and wear a FitBit to try to get a decent amount of steps in each day. I also have a motion strider which is similar to a Cubie. It helps to keep the hips and legs mobile and also helps to gain strength. I recently purchased a stretchy band system and I anchored one at the end of my computer desk so when I get up to do something, I stop and do a few arm and shoulder exercises. Every little bit helps.

Best of luck in your health journey! Know that you are not alone! We all have our struggles and we learn ways to adjust to get us where we want to be! Do whatever it takes to make it work for you!

Daeygur · January 2023

Thank you all so much! I haven't been active lately because I've been feeling real bad lately, turns out (tmi) that my period started for the first time in years! So, that's exciting!!!!

Daeygur · January 2023

So, I can't edit the post (either that or I can't figure out how), but today I weighed in at 349!!!! I've now lost a total of 41 lbs!!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!

Unknown · January 2023

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lily1972 · January 2023

Congratulations on your great progress!! And I hear you about kickboxing... I used to call it my "definition sport" because it works all the hard-to-train areas we women aspire to tone, as well as providing self-defense, self-confidence and a terrific way to vent frustrations

Woohoo!!

Daeygur · January 2023

Fit2btied2016 wrote: »

Daeygur wrote: »

snowflake954 wrote: »

I also applaud you. Congratulations on making changes. Keep making them and you will get to goal. It's probably time to log your food, at least for awhile. Exercising is not necessary for weight loss, but as mentioned above, will be good for your health--especially as you age. Many people walk to start, but it's important that you do something you like and will stick to. Consistency and persistence are your friends.

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping to hear a new success story in the future.

Thank you! Yeah, exercise isn't as important as diet, but coming from a former athlete and seeing my muscles and everything I worked hard for years on start to deteriorate to the point that I can't even lift up cat litter kind of put me into a mindset of "You can lose all your weight through diet, but what's the point if you're weaker than your 86 year old grandmother???? You're an athlete! You lived half your life doing sports before you spiraled into depression and what not, so get up off your butt and start being that athlete." Instead of thinking of it as "working out" I have to manipulate my mind with reverse psychology and say, "practicing kickboxing, or training for kickboxing." Lmaooo because if I don't and say "Oh, crap I need to workout today." Yeah, I'm not going to get up and doing it. But if I say, "Oh, crap I need to train for kickboxing today." Then I'm more inclined to get up off my rump and start kickboxing.

It's the strangest thing really HAHAHA. I'm very excited to share a new success story in the future and hopefully by this summer I have many success stories to post. XDD

This is something that just came to mind when I read this post of yours, and that is to find enough sports and activities that you can do solo, on your own, now as well, so that when you get older, you will still be able to get out some adrenaline rush, and get some of that competitive itch scratched. (It will likely never go away). You might find it harder to keep team sports up as you get older, because they tend to be the first ones that go by the wayside as people head off into work, careers, family, etc., so it's always good to have a back-up or things you can do in a pinch. (Eg. riding a bike is something you can do alone, or in a group, but it's not per-se, a team sport). You may find softball or slo-pitch one of the easiest team sports to keep up when older, because a lot of people still play recreationally as adults, etc. In the meantime, you may find it a lot of fun to hit balls at a batting cage, if there's one available near you.

In many ways, sports saved my life and my sanity when I was young. Not only was I reasonably good at many of them, but I could give that soccer ball a good kick and get out a lot of frustration instead of retaliating towards bullies (although one did get a taste of his own medicine and he and his friends never bothered me again! I chased him blocks until I caught up with them, and they were scared witless. They not only realized that I could run, but I didn't back away and I was mad enough to mean business. They were punished in the end, and back then grounding was a big deal. I took that moment with me for the rest of my life, and recall it now and then when something brings it to mind. Btw, the bully was a fat kid, and I wasn't fat when I was being bullied then with that idiot--he was a high school trouble-maker. Not all of my bullies were fat, but many of them were. So I have extra reasons why I don't care for fatness ;-) Kick-boxing was suggested to me many years ago for self-defense after an unfortunate incident, but I didn't look into it, and I probably should have. I have had numerous times when it would have come in handy for various reasons. Here's a hint though: Don't advertise it too loudly that you are good at it. It may end up being a secret weapon for you one day, and it's always good to have something up your sleeve that people don't suspect. ;-)

Thank you so much for your kind messages!!!!!! I was the opposite growing up. I was heavily bullied during High School, and due to that I feel into a deep depression and ate for comfort. Different medications, different diagnosis, different doctors until finally earlier this year after a horrible two-week relationship I had reached the highest weight I've ever had. I finally went cold turkey off my medication (don't recommend!!!!) and it worked for me. I was more determined to live than ever and did a 180 June pushing myself even when I was uncomfortable. Kickboxing is very fun btw!!! I highly recommend it!!

Unknown · January 2023

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sargemarcori · January 2023

You're amazing, OP. I am cheering you on.

sandramarshall200 · February 2023

I am so invested in you. Hope its going well.

Daeygur · May 2023

sandramarshall200 wrote: »

I am so invested in you. Hope its going well.

Yes! It has!

I've lost a total of 51 lbs now!!

Daeygur · May 2023

Also thank you!!

Lost 30+ lbs, figured out why I'm at a plateu, and had a non-scale victory!

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