Strangers in the dressing room

darsh11
darsh11 Posts: 98
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
Last night I had a great NSV in the dressing room at Coldwater Creek. I am now a size 14 misses in many things, down from a 22W two years ago, but my dressing room high was quickly turned into anger over what I heard going on in the next dressing room. A woman was with her mom trying on pants. I saw her come out a couple of times and she was overweight and had a pear shape. She tried on a size 16 and they did not fit right Well her Mom started railing her about her weight. She started yelling for all to hear, "What do you mean the 16's don't fit? Do you really want to buy a size 18? She then started grilling her about what she was eating and why she was fat and how she could not imagine having to buy a size 18 pants for her daughter. I really wanted to knock on the dressing room door and give that woman a piece of my mind, but I bit my tongue and left the dressing room. I don't know about you, but if my mother had ever spoken to me like that about my weight in a public place I would have been embarrassed and heartbroken. Mothers are supposed to be the ones who encourage you instead of adding to the problem. I could not imagine saying those words to my own daughter. There is away to approach the subject to getting in shape and losing weight with your daughter and this was not the way to do it. Now I wish I would have talked to the woman and given her words of encouragment. When you are over weight you already feel like the world is looking at you, having your mother demoralize you in a public place does not make it better. I can almost guarantee that woman sunk those emotions deep within herself and it will add more pounds to her body because of the hurt.

Replies

  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    That is so sad....and it happens everyday =(
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    I surely would have taken that woman aside and had a word with her. I would have offered to take the daughter shopping and home and told mom to fark off - then I probably would make some comment about her *kitten* as she was leaving.
    One thing I can't stand is a harpy b itch. Fortunately, I can out-harpy AND out-b itch them
  • defygravity531
    defygravity531 Posts: 289 Member
    wow. just.... wow. I don't think that woman should be allowed to call herself a mother. SO SAD.

    I would have said something. Told her she was being rude. Idk, but something.
  • tananichelle
    tananichelle Posts: 103 Member
    That breaks my heart. :(
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
    That is so sad! I tend to say something to the child in front of the parent, and make their parent look like an idiot. I was standing in a check out line a few months back and this woman was just nit picking her daughter to death. Then she said to her daughter, " You are such a thorn in my side". I looked at the little girl who was about 10 and said to her, "Aren't you glad thorns have roses?, you are that rose". I got a dirty look from the mom and a smile from the little girl.You never know when your words can have an impact on someones life.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    I don't think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut.
  • Amyding115
    Amyding115 Posts: 120
    What a *****! A mother is the one who helps pick up the pieces, not breaks them into them. I am dealing with my 6 year old telling me that she is "chunky" because that is what her grandma (on her father's side of course) told her. She's 6! She swims, does, gymnastics, and dances. She's only a few pounds over by the doctor's standard and he's not worried cuz she's active. The fact that family is the one that can make like you're not good enough the way you are is disgusting.
  • techymum
    techymum Posts: 168
    Unfortunately my mother-in-law was this type of woman. Her grown daughter is very very thin, to the point of not looking healthy.

    Last summer my eldest daughter, who is healthy, at a good weight, and active, worked at a summer camp where the food was terrible. A constant diet of fried food (much to my daughter's dismay) had her put on a few pounds.

    Much to my shock, it was the first thing my mil said when she saw my daughter. Oh, you've put on some weight!

    I grew up in a home where we never discussed weight. And I also raised my daughters the same way. (Neither child has the weight problems I do.)

    How sad to be treated that way by one's own mother.
  • mzjoseph
    mzjoseph Posts: 6 Member
    Motherhood does not come with a manual or a certification course - there are lots of us out there who are fumbling through. I do not agree with the method at all, but it's probably coming from a place of love and concern. It's likely that the mom grew up with that sort of negative reinforcement to jolt action and does not know any other way. The sad truth is that the younger person will likely end up doing the same to her child one day.

    I always struggle with whether to say something or not to strangers when I see clear (from my POV) injustice. I probably would have done the same thing as you, though.

    What I do know is that more negativity and judgement may not work. I pray that someone close who they respect has an opportunity to coach the mom soon. I am also thankful that the folks in my life convey calls for change to me in a much more caring tone.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories