Please help

Darrenmh316
Darrenmh316 Posts: 19 Member
in Motivation and Support
I’ve been up and down with my weight over the years, mostly in between times when I was injured playing football and as this was the only exercise I did and it was very important to me I became depressed and ate when I couldn’t do it. I also have had a very bad diet as I was basically spoiled as a child and only ever had the meat and potatoes/chips processed food stuff

Anyway I’m nearly 40, my last football injury was an Achilles injury which has been heeled for over a year now and yet I cannot find the motivation to get fit. I’ve put on about 3 stone since I stopped playing and usually something clicks and I just start losing weight but I can’t seem to do it this time. I do have OCD apparently and I find my brain will try to stop me from doing anything productive or good for myself. I think about it everyday but always fail and it’s a vicious cycle. Any advise would be greatly appreciated

Replies

  • Megan_smartiepants1970
    Megan_smartiepants1970 Posts: 43,289 Member
    My advice would be take things slow ... focus on 1 thing at a time ...example log everything you eat for a week ... then chose something else ..You got this .... :)
  • Darrenmh316
    Darrenmh316 Posts: 19 Member
    Thank you, it’s getting me so down and I don’t know what’s stopping me getting going. First day of the week logged yesterday so that’s one step down
  • stephk19
    stephk19 Posts: 16 Member
    I know exactly how you feel - I feel so down on myself and it feels like that is what is holding me back from really getting into it. I don't have the fire in me that I usually have when I restart (and there has been a lot of restarts).

    Yesterday I just did it - I don't know how else to describe it. I hated every moment of it, I wanted to eat all the nice things and didn't want to move...but I made sure I logged, kept within my calories and made myself go for a walk to get lunch instead of using the downstairs café at work. I didn't feel proud of myself like I usually do at the start of a restart - but I did it.

    I guess what I'm saying is as much as I don't want to, only I have the power to make myself, so I might as well do it. I logged yesterday, I will log today and I'm trying to hang around on the boards as much as possible in the hope I find that spark that I'm missing at the moment for it.

    If you want to add each other for support, I'm all for that (I'm not as depressive as my post makes me sound haha)
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,205 Member
    When you mention your diet related to childhood habits… you really can still have carbs and meats and still be a healthy weight now. You just want to use your food scale and portion appropriately. I am a parent to two teens and I will tell you that for some, raising / disciplining kids into a varied diet that includes plenty of fruit and veggies is doable and for other families it is not worth the constant struggle. One of my sons worked with an occupational therapist from ages 2-4 to try to vary what he could eat without throwing up. My dad also had a limited diet so I grew up mostly eating potatoes, canned peas, and meats / spaghettis. But when I got older, I chose different things for myself. I would challenge you to understand how your past influenced you but not point to your parents in blame. This is your body now as an adult!

    Does your OCD make you need a perfect plan before you can get started? If so that sounds hard. I will say that the first two weeks are most difficult for me when I need to tighten up my eating and log again. What if you committed to four weeks of dedication, then take it from there?
  • Darrenmh316
    Darrenmh316 Posts: 19 Member
    Thank you all for your replies. My OCD tends to make me want to KNOW it’s going to work before I start. So if I have doubt I end up doing nothing at all. Then when I do get fit I get obsessed with it and end up injuring myself and back to square one.
  • shabbypenguin
    shabbypenguin Posts: 3 Member
    Darrenmh316 wrote: »
    Thank you all for your replies. My OCD tends to make me want to KNOW it’s going to work before I start. So if I have doubt I end up doing nothing at all. Then when I do get fit I get obsessed with it and end up injuring myself and back to square one.

    you didnt gain this weight in 2 weeks, dont beat yourself up you dont lose it in 2 weeks. i know easier said than done, just try to remember its going to be a process.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,258 Member
    Darrenmh316 wrote: »
    Thank you all for your replies. My OCD tends to make me want to KNOW it’s going to work before I start. So if I have doubt I end up doing nothing at all. Then when I do get fit I get obsessed with it and end up injuring myself and back to square one.

    This is probably a dumb idea, but what if you re-framed the starting weeks as an experiment, with success defined as finding the calorie level you'd need after that to lose weight gradually while still fueling your gradually increasing exercise? If you're consistent for those starting few weeks, the experiment would succeed, whether you lose, hold steady in weight or even gain.

    After that, you'd know how to target your eating to lose in a sensible way, and after the experiment phase, the loss rate would likely be reasonably predictable if you look at it as a trend over (say) a month rather than expecting a steady loss every single day (which just isn't how it works).
  • Lucidnostalgic
    Lucidnostalgic Posts: 3 Member
    I live with adhd and have found that making daily to do lists helps A LOT. The brain is looking for dopamine in any form and usually food is the easiest thing. But for me I’ve discovered that crossing things off a list has the same effect. It’s the same every day: make the bed, take vitamins, wash face, brush teeth, drink water, meditate 10 min, etc. you get the picture. Figuring out how to get the dopamine your brain really desires will help a lot with managing urges and habits.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,161 Member
    Darrenmh316 wrote: »
    Thank you all for your replies. My OCD tends to make me want to KNOW it’s going to work before I start. So if I have doubt I end up doing nothing at all. Then when I do get fit I get obsessed with it and end up injuring myself and back to square one.

    Okay well if your OCD needs to 'know' ... Then surely by doing nothing your OCD KNOWS that youre not gonna lose any weight.

    Come on man! You CAN do this! It seems twisted in your mind! Of course it's going to work! And maybe not in an instant but you need to learn that this change didn't happen overnight and it won't change back overnight
    I know change is hard, but you just gotta feel the emotions but just do it anyway

    You don't need motivation, you need discipline. Doing the things you don't WANT to do because you NEED to do them

    You're never gonna feel like it, I never want to actually exercise or have a salad over a big Mac.
    But I do.. because if I don't there's just no progress.

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