Spurned on through heartache.

lisabobczuk
lisabobczuk Posts: 115 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Where do I start?! I'm new to this site, my friend told me about it.
I thought I had it all! Gave up my home, sold all my belongings, to start a new life in Aberdeen with a guy I thought loved me!
How wrong was I! I recieved a text not meant for me, and he was having an affair!
I've lost the lot!
He kept mentioning my weight, saying I packed a lot in my trunk! So obviously I tried to lose weight to please him!
My ex husband also commented how gross I looked and couldn't have sex with me because I turned him off!
I'm now at my mums and realised what is getting me down more than anything is the way I look!!!
I know if I'm in the right frame of mind and start loving myself then everything else should fall into place.
I just wish I could find someone to love me for me! I'm not exactly huge, but I'm made to feel I am!
I really want to do this for me! I love clothes shopping and want to buy what I want.
I also want to shove my new slim figure in there faces and show what they could of had! This is the start of a new me!! Watch this space..!!!

Replies

  • marmay07
    marmay07 Posts: 19
    If these men are only interested in your weight they aint worth knowing hun!!! Theres someone out there who will love you for being you!!!! Dont lose weight for anyone but yourself!!! xxx
  • marialynnporter
    marialynnporter Posts: 95 Member
    I am so sorry that happend to you. they are all jerks and you can do so much better then them.
    if a guy loved you he would not do that or say things like that. but i am glad you came on here and wanted a change.
    I all so don't have much to lose maybe just 20lbs, not sure yet. but if you need some friends you can add me. and if you need to talk to someone i am here. :)
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
    If these men are only interested in your weight they aint worth knowing hun!!! Theres someone out there who will love you for being you!!!! Dont lose weight for anyone but yourself!!! xxx


    ^Darn Right^
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I had a similar experience when my husband told me I was boring (sexually) because I was so fat. I lost 5 stone and filed for divorce. I have put a bit back on since I remarried (a lovely man who never complains about my size) so here I am. But the point is. this place is great it really inspires you to keep going so welcome and I hope it helps you as much as it is me.
  • Shelby814
    Shelby814 Posts: 273 Member
    Don't let those losers get you down! You're a beautiful girl. We have to accept & love ourselves. I agree, lose weight for you if that's what you want to do. When you feel good about yourself & have the self-confidence we all want & need, the right person will be in the right place for you. And revenge is sweet! LOL
  • lisabobczuk
    lisabobczuk Posts: 115 Member
    There shallow aren't they! I am going to do this. I'm just under 11 stone now, and my goal is 9stone. My confidence has took a right knocking! I hide my legs because of comments I recieved! It's now or never and this site is amazing! Makes you realise were you have been going wrong! X
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    Forward me the addresses for the hitman I will be sending to rid the earth of insensitive jerks like these...and friend me if you would like :)
  • marmay07
    marmay07 Posts: 19
    Sent you a friend request hun x
  • Dette1
    Dette1 Posts: 23 Member
    That is truly heartbreaking. I am so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that and no one has the right to steal your confidence. I find this site to be wonderful in creating better health but also allowing for healing no matter what the issue. There always seems to be someone encouraging another or posting a topic that hits home for another. In time, I know you will be confident and secure again. My advice, keeping with this tool. Keep logging and exercising for yourself and as your personal journal. It really is worth it for physical and mental health. More power to you!!!! Feel free to me add me as a buddy! Take care~
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    I'm so sorry this happened to you and you are feeling badly.

    There ARE men out there that will love you exactly as you are, and if you gain OR lose. You just have to keep looking and not settle for someone less than you deserve.

    I have gained about 30 lbs since I met my honey 5 and a half years ago. He is lovely to not comment on the change in my appearance. Actually, he doesn't comment either way : gain or lose... compliments are not his thing. I'm thankful for that. :-)

    However, I DO want to lose the extra weight because it makes me feel worse. Physically, the extra weight is harder to carry. My best clothes don't fit quite right. And I find myself a little self-conscious. But that's all in my head - it's my feelings, no necessarily his.

    So - all of that to say: I'm sorry, and you're worth holding out for a guy that will build you up, not tear you down. I encourage you to do everything in your power to get your confidence (and power) back! While this jerk was insensitive and is a real loser, he can only make you feel as bad as you allow. Hopefully you can soon chalk it up to HIS loss, HIS insecurity, and his TOTAL LOSER status and will realize it has nothing to do with you and your worth.

    Best of luck on your path!
  • lisabobczuk
    lisabobczuk Posts: 115 Member
    Im so overwhelmed by all your responses!!!
    You all make me feel I'm not alone in this battle!
    I have read all your lovely messages, and to you all I wish you all success in your own personal goals!!
    I have my little girl to think about also! She needs her mummy to be strong, and to look up to me!
    I have suffered anorexia in the past and it still haunts me! I really don't want my angel to go through what ive been through!
    I have cried so much! And not eaten for I feel gross! But I know I'm no good to my daughter ill and in this way!
    My confidence will return in time! But at min I feel so unattractive! Don't you just hate looking at yourself in the mirror!
    My goal is a pair of grey shorts I have hung up that I look at, and think I will get into them! Have to do this and show my legs off!
    When I do that! I have overcome my demons, and got rid of that mental torture in my mind!!
  • marmay07
    marmay07 Posts: 19
    I look in the mirror and hate what i see but i know that one day ill see the body i want looking back at me ! you just keep going hun!!! Your not alone in this battle and remember that ! So you get to the weight you want to be, get those shorts on and show those men what there missing !!! xx
  • marmay07
    marmay07 Posts: 19
    I look in the mirror and hate what i see but i know that one day ill see the body i want looking back at me ! you just keep going hun!!! Your not alone in this battle and remember that ! So you get to the weight you want to be, get those shorts on and show those men what there missing !!! xx
  • lisabobczuk
    lisabobczuk Posts: 115 Member
    Marmay, we will both get that picture we want then should post it on here!! We will feel good again! Xx

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