Anyone Recovering/Recovered From An ED?

New_Hope
New_Hope Posts: 84
edited October 3 in Health and Weight Loss
I've suffered from bulimia for over 6 years and I was a major binge eater before that. I went into the hospital and was discharged with a meal plan, but I am having a very hard time following it. As of lately, I've been eating less and less and even though I see all these people eating 1200+ calories and losing weight, I can't seem to make myself eat more when I'm not hungry. Part of me fears a relapse, but another part of me rationalizes that I'm just not hungry, so I shouldn't eat. I tried to set up an appointment with a nutritionist, but the only one in the area that will take my insurance won't see me because I am in recovery from an ED.

I guess the point of this ramble is: For those of you recovering/recovered, how did you do it? Do you worry if you don't make your calories or just try to eat more the next day? I'd appreciate any sort of help or encouragement. My fear of losing control and gaining back all the weight I lost is very, very real and hard to shake. I use to weigh 280 lbs, went on a VLCD and lost 100 lbs, then it turned into the ED I now battle with ...

I hope that made sense.

Replies

  • cherryObebe
    cherryObebe Posts: 189
    See if there is a dietician in your area. They are far better than a nutritionist. Nutritionists only get a certificate, whereas dieticians have degrees.

    Good luck and good job! :wink:
  • jbudge1
    jbudge1 Posts: 62 Member
    I think you need to see a therapist for this. This is a serious disease and you need the help of more than a public forum.
  • LisaMarieee
    LisaMarieee Posts: 176 Member
    I'm currently in the process of trying to recover from anorexia. The steps I've taken (personally) are not counting calories and trying to stop weighing myself since both seem to be triggering for me. If I haven't ate enough one day, I don't try and eat more the next day unless I feel like I really need to. Listening to my body has helped a lot but it doesn't work for everyone.

    If you feel you can't meet your calorie goals, maybe you should incorporate some higher calorie foods into your diet. Dried fruit is great and high in calories.
  • New_Hope
    New_Hope Posts: 84
    I think you need to see a therapist for this. This is a serious disease and you need the help of more than a public forum.

    Thanks for the suggestion, but I do see a therapist on a regular basis. However, there are some things even therapists don't understand and are unable to help you with. Only people who have been there or are there can really understand.
  • New_Hope
    New_Hope Posts: 84
    See if there is a dietician in your area. They are far better than a nutritionist. Nutritionists only get a certificate, whereas dieticians have degrees.

    Good luck and good job! :wink:

    Thanks I'll look into that.
  • comma44
    comma44 Posts: 6 Member
    Hey,

    I'm losing weight after being anorexic about 5 years ago. I went into recovery and started eating again and binged a lot. Anyway I gained weight up to 220+ lbs. Now I'm losing the weight again but in a healthy way. I always make sure to meet my goal caloric intake and if I exercise I eat back the calories. If I haven't been able to meet my goal calories for the day, I keep some ice cream in my freezer, so I'll have some of that to get me to how many calories I need to be taking in. It's tempting to restrict your calories lower and lower to try to lose weight faster, but you know how miserable that gets, and what a toll it takes on your body. Plus from what I've read, the slower and steadier your weight loss is, the more likely you are to keep the weight off permanently instead of just yo-yo dieting.

    If you have someone in your life, or even just MFP friends that will check in with you daily and encourage you to eat enough calories for the day. For me, I always tell my boyfriend if I've eaten enough for the day and if I haven't we usually talk about it and he'll encourage me to have a snack so that I can get my calories up to what they need to be. You WILL continue to lose weight as long as you have a caloric deficit, don't worry about that. Just make sure the deficit is a healthy one and you're not losing weight too quickly. It will be slower than you're hoping for most likely, but you will be able to stay healthy both physically and mentally, which is worth it in my opinion.

    Just to add, there's lots of high calorie foods that will get your calories up to where they need to be: things like nuts, greek yogurt, ice cream, any sort of chocolate/dessert type things. It can be hard to meet the calories you need if you are sticking to really low calorie foods all the time.
  • whatwentwrong
    whatwentwrong Posts: 228
    i think there are a lot of people recovering from ED on this forum, including me :) i was a binge-eater until recently, and i agree, it IS hard to get your calories up when you're trying to relearn when you're hungry, and people aren't always supportive. it took me a few weeks for my body to adjust and for me to feel hungry again, and to be able to eat regularly instead of severely restricting calories or bingeing.

    just keep at it! relearning healthy eating isn't some sudden thing- it's gonna be a slow process, you don't need to change everything all at once. just work on getting better one day at a time. and if you don't make your calories or go over, well, tomorrow's a new day!
  • Boot112009
    Boot112009 Posts: 1
    I struggled/struggle with an ED for 12 years. By the grace of God, it never got bad enough to be hospitalized and outward appearances make it seem as though I'm recovered. I have started taking better care of my body as a result of reaching out to a very good friend of mine who reminded me that God created me in His image and that He commands me to treat my body as a temple. If you aren't a believer in God, then this probably sounds like a load of crap, it sounded like that to me then too. Yet, nothing else seemed to work so I called on God as my last resort and He has made me new. I don't consider myself recovered because my mindset is often still the same. Sometimes I have to force myself to try to reach 1200 calories a day and I have to resist over exercising. I try to eat more often, but in smaller portions. I may end up eating about 5 times a day instead of three, but I'm eating smaller portions and I've noticed that my body is getting used to that eating schedule. I often find myself hungry at my scheduled time. I don't always hit 1200 calories, sometimes I'm under or over, but I don't let it get to me. I pray about it and ask God to help me care for myself the way He cares for me. I don't think about yesterday's or tomorrow's calories today. God is in the present and if I want His help and guidance I too must focus on the now. I'm not sure if this helps or if you just think I'm a Jesus freak, though I'm not against that title :) If you're interested in knowing more about my journey to healing, just post here and let me know. I'd prefer to email you any further details so you could post your email and I'll write asap. You really can be healed from this struggle! God Bless
  • New_Hope
    New_Hope Posts: 84
    I struggled/struggle with an ED for 12 years. By the grace of God, it never got bad enough to be hospitalized and outward appearances make it seem as though I'm recovered. I have started taking better care of my body as a result of reaching out to a very good friend of mine who reminded me that God created me in His image and that He commands me to treat my body as a temple. If you aren't a believer in God, then this probably sounds like a load of crap, it sounded like that to me then too. Yet, nothing else seemed to work so I called on God as my last resort and He has made me new. I don't consider myself recovered because my mindset is often still the same. Sometimes I have to force myself to try to reach 1200 calories a day and I have to resist over exercising. I try to eat more often, but in smaller portions. I may end up eating about 5 times a day instead of three, but I'm eating smaller portions and I've noticed that my body is getting used to that eating schedule. I often find myself hungry at my scheduled time. I don't always hit 1200 calories, sometimes I'm under or over, but I don't let it get to me. I pray about it and ask God to help me care for myself the way He cares for me. I don't think about yesterday's or tomorrow's calories today. God is in the present and if I want His help and guidance I too must focus on the now. I'm not sure if this helps or if you just think I'm a Jesus freak, though I'm not against that title :) If you're interested in knowing more about my journey to healing, just post here and let me know. I'd prefer to email you any further details so you could post your email and I'll write asap. You really can be healed from this struggle! God Bless

    If I think you're a Jesus Freak, it'd be as a compliment. We are called to be Christ like and Jesus was quite the "freak" in his time. I'm a Christian myself, which is one of the things that has kept me going through all my struggles. It's a matter of working past the guilt and shame that many "Christian therapists" have placed on me about this. It's why I took so long to get help. But I'd definitely like to talk with you some more.
  • annoz
    annoz Posts: 68 Member
    Hi- I have been "recovered" from anorexia and bulimia for about 15 years (I am 35 and suffered off and on from agees 13-20). I have about 10 pound to lose- mostly put on from my summer of eating, drinking, and vacationing! Eating and diet I think about a lot, but not in a obsessed or negative way. I think at this point in my life I have a very healthy "normal (whatever that is) relationship with food. I try to not make negative comments about my weight or food for the main reason in that I have a 12 yo daughter who loves her body and I want to keep it that way! EDs suck. Keep fighting. Feel free to contact me. Just know that you are not alone.

    Ann
  • Jamazurunner
    Jamazurunner Posts: 132
    See if there is a dietician in your area. They are far better than a nutritionist. Nutritionists only get a certificate, whereas dieticians have degrees.

    I certainly agree with this. I have continuously suffered from "disordered eating" and I feel like MFP has been helpful and occasionally harmful in some aspects. But I just started seeking a therapist and a dietician (at a reduced cost), and both have been helping me so much.

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey :)
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