Shocked at Lack of Support

Options
lanaholt
lanaholt Posts: 59
in Motivation and Support
Feeling a little bummed today. I'm usually on top of the world and the one that everyone else goes to for motivation and support. But today I'm a little sad. I'll get over it, I always do and I'm not going to run to food to comfort me, although I really want to eat some cookie dough right now. Someone close to me just doesn't understand that food is a struggle for me. They act like I'm inconveniencing them because I don't want them to eat temptations in front of me. Certain foods might as well be drugs or alcohol. You don't want to binge drink, don't hang out in a bar. So, I don't want to be around it every single day. Too much temptation. It's hard for folks that don't struggle to understand. Just resist, just don't do it. So, easy for them to say. Drink a glass of water, take a walk, call a friend. If I hear that again, I'm going to choke someone. I'm getting better. Just a little disappointed today. Tomorrow, I'll be back on top.

Replies

  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Options
    Keep your chin up. Have you tried using the drinking analogy with your friend? It's a scenario most people can comprehend clearly and it might make the situation a little easier for him or her to understand.
  • JDNOX
    JDNOX Posts: 619
    Options
    Stick through it. Venting to people helps a lot and I know what you are talking about. I am diabetic and I got so sick of people that know that asking me if I want pie or cake or icecream. I would say no and they would be like come on are you sure. Its like do you understand I want it I just can't and you are not helping. Anyway Stay strong.
  • CaoimheAine
    CaoimheAine Posts: 195
    Options
    I completely understand what you mean...
    Myself and a good friend went out for dinner/drinks Friday after work. We ended up having a big argument and I was almost in tears, all because of pizza. I said I didn't want any more (I had already had 2 pieces) because I was trying to be healthy. She doesn't understand exactly how I feel. It's difficult on both sides. I'm not exactly fat but need to lose about 10kg for me to be happy and confident in myself. I don't know why certain people just don't accept it hey?
    :( meh... Gotta stay strong for what you want !
  • clarech82
    clarech82 Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry to hear your down today but I'm afraid to say you can't stop others eating certain things because you don't want them. I've done most of this journey with no support at home. My other half who really needs to lose weight didn't want to so just carried on eating junk as usual so I've had months of his tempting sweets around the house but who am I to tell him not to I would hate him to tell me not to be healthy as much as he would hate me to tell him nog to eat junk.

    You just have to stay focused to what you want and ignore what others are doing . Good luck with your journey
  • daves160
    daves160 Posts: 600
    Options
    I know where you are coming from. It seems like our friends and family are the worst ones to give support. Maybe its the same psychosis that makes us tend to take out our frustrations and get emotional on those we are closest to. Stupid human nature!

    Hey, if you can get good support here, you are way ahead of the game. Hang in there and DO NOT give in to temptation! If you do, then just move forward, and don't dwell on it.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
    Options
    I know, folks who haven't had the struggle just don't get it. I've struggled with weight all my life. Have never figured out how to explain it to someone else. How do you make them"get it"? Especially, when they think that the fact that they don't struggle comes from them doing everything right. My last bf was a sugar fiend and didn't get that I just couldn't eat the same as he did... yet he complained about my weight.... So go figure.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
    Options
    That's what MFP is for, to get support when you can't get it at home! Have you ever thought about confronting this person with their own "problem".... I'm just saying, everyone has something they turn too. Smoking, Alcohol, video games, spending money....

    This is probably the bi*chy part of me...but I would bring it up. Next time your struggling and they tell you to just "not do it"...or they sit and eat crap in front of you. I'd bring up something they do, and see how good they would be at "just not doing it". Watch how fast they tell you that its not a problem so they don't need to not do it.... Its amazing how people get when you turn their views around on them.

    Hope you make it through! and stay way from the cookie dough! lol
  • JediMaster_intraining
    JediMaster_intraining Posts: 903 Member
    Options
    I understand what you mean. Some people, even good friends and significant others, can turn nasty when you try to explain to them about weight loss and support and food. It's not easy! We are trying to commit to living a better life and we have to struggle daily to overcome bad habits and emotional eating. :(

    I agree with the person who said to explain to them in a way they can understand like the bar/alcohol situation. Maybe they will come around. Keep up your hard work and don't give up! :) It will be so worth seeing the results! (and maybe throwing your motivation and confidence in yourself around at the people who don't believe in you!)
  • VemmaMom
    VemmaMom Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    Awwhh ya know people who have never had a "diet" issue or had to struggle with their own weight cant seem to comprehend what it like for those who do. You ll get stronger with every time and try to turn it around in your head(mind over matter). thats what I try and do. Make it a mission for yourself to gain strength and confidence with each time this haps and go from there...good luck!!!
  • marcibar
    marcibar Posts: 35
    Options
    I think sometimes people worry our personalities will change to much on a path to getting healthy. You need to stick to your guns and know that you are doing what is best for you. I have a lot of people tell me "you can have one" or "just a bite won't hurt" If I could stop at one or just a bite, then maybe not, but if I have that food that is an evil for me, I start craving it again, or think about how just two bites is ok, then maybe three, then I feel bad.

    I like your alcohol analogy, I think I will use that when explaining it to people!
  • 805_blondie
    805_blondie Posts: 96 Member
    Options
    I think people have a hard time with change in themselves and others, good or bad. It's not that people consciously want you to fail at weight loss or fitness or to fail at becoming a happier person. I think the unexpected and change tends to be frightening to most people. They know you as how they are use to knowing you and if you change something about yourself, whether you become a healthier, happier person or a drug addict. Something inside people makes them uncomfortable with your change, good or bad. You see, its more about their insecurity than does have anything to do with you. That's just my opinion on my experience with others.
  • cbediria
    cbediria Posts: 29
    Options
    i feel the same way. people are like "oh, just have a little bit" or you'll be out for dinner and they'll make fun of your salad with dressing on the side. weight is a legit issue for some of us. emotionally, physically and psychologically challenging. lean on others who struggle as well. like us!! alcoholics stick together and so should we.
  • cherryObebe
    cherryObebe Posts: 189
    Options
    Feeling a little bummed today. I'm usually on top of the world and the one that everyone else goes to for motivation and support. But today I'm a little sad. I'll get over it, I always do and I'm not going to run to food to comfort me, although I really want to eat some cookie dough right now. Someone close to me just doesn't understand that food is a struggle for me. They act like I'm inconveniencing them because I don't want them to eat temptations in front of me. Certain foods might as well be drugs or alcohol. You don't want to binge drink, don't hang out in a bar. So, I don't want to be around it every single day. Too much temptation. It's hard for folks that don't struggle to understand. Just resist, just don't do it. So, easy for them to say. Drink a glass of water, take a walk, call a friend. If I hear that again, I'm going to choke someone. I'm getting better. Just a little disappointed today. Tomorrow, I'll be back on top.

    I can completely relate! My boyfriend doesn't share the same ideals that I have on food in general. I think two of the biggest problems in this are the availability of ice cream and cookies! He also is a very picky eater and loves red meat, potatoes and pasta. Needless to say, you can tell how I ended up here. lol I have tried so hard to get him on the same page that I am on with food and it just doesn't fly. We made some progress for a while, but he travels for work and when he is gone longer periods of time, any progress we make together is out the window when he comes home. Right now he is working out of the country and essentially comes home for visits here and there. I have had a much easier time sticking to my goals without him here, but now I have no one to blame but myself when I stumble. :tongue: Hang in there. Tomorrow is a new day. :flowerforyou:
  • KLi531
    KLi531 Posts: 130 Member
    Options
    There are a lot of people like that and sadly they may never understand. I know exactly what you are going through. You know what's best for you and you just have to do it. Can't make everyone happy all the time. Hang in there!!
  • msaap
    msaap Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    Obstacles come to make us strong. Keep doing what you're doing. Some of my family members could care less about the food addiction that plagues us. But luckily there are people out there who care about you and want you to succeed on this journey.
  • coatsie79
    coatsie79 Posts: 187 Member
    Options
    They act like I'm inconveniencing them because I don't want them to eat temptations in front of me.

    I don't want to sound harsh, but, you are. Why should they not eat what they want, when they want? Why should they change their habits to revolve around you? I'm sorry, but you are the one making the change, so it's you that needs to make the sacrifice.

    You'll come across people who will relate to the journey you are making and make allowances, but the truth is most people won't because frankly they've probably got stuff going on in their own lives.

    Draw strength from supportive people, but don't fret when others are not tip toeing around you.

    Good Luck.

Categories