Self Perception

dp1228 · September 2011

I need to get this off my chest and I'm not quite sure where else to put it so I'll go with the forums. ******Constructive***** advice is very welcome.

More and more I'm noticing that I have a very skewed perception of myself. I realize this is true with a lot of people, but it's so strong for me at this point that I'm literally shocked at it. Before I started my weight loss journey, I also had a skewed perception of myself, but it was very positive. I did not see how bad I had gotten (or I didnt want to see) until I had my "aha moment". You can read my profile for more information on that. As soon as I had my aha moment, my self- perception did a complete turn around. No longer was I thinking that I looked great and "of course theres nothing wrong with my lifestyle!", now I'm, for lack of a better word, disgusted with myself. And most of that disgust was targeted at how I looked. That perception of myself, that I look gross and really who would want to be friends with me or even go out with me, has been building and building and building. It seems the more I lose, the harsher I become on myself. I let myself focus on the fact that I'm still single after my last breakup becuase of how I look. I call myself horrible names and I really REALLY beat myself up. I'm naturally very blunt with people, but I'm the bluntest with myself. I make myself feel like I'm not accomplishing enough and I let it depress me and at this point it feels like no matter how much I lose it doesn't matter because I'll never be where I want to be. I used to be so strong and I don't feel like that anymore and I have no idea what's going on!!! I've never been this hard on myself.

I really want to change my self perception and I dont know how. Is anyone else going through this? Does anything help? I really really don't want to sink further into this way of thinking.

lauehorn · September 2011

Have you thought about talking with a counselor? Someone who is a professional would probably be really helpful in assisting you in positive and fair dialogue with yourself. They can help you break the cycle of a pendulum swinging between denial or self-disgust. For instance, acknowledging that you need to get healthy is positive, but acknowledging that and then telling yourself you are disgusting isn't. You need to work on true and positive affirmations, reminding yourself when the negative and self destructive thoughts surface that they aren't true or fair. Your perception of yourself can't be all or nothing; perfect or horrible.

kaywhyzcu · September 2011

I kinda am in the same boat with you. Its self caused...Dont spend hours looking in the mirror because its only going to make you feel worse. I think that finding the key to our happiness is only something we can achieve for ourselfs.

I am in no way happy with my body. I hate the way I look and have this self image of the old me in my head. I have to let go of all the crap feelings and say screw you, friends, famiyl, and anyone else who is not supportive of me and screw my head for its stupid self image bullcrap.

Make yourself happy, dont worry about being single...once you find your happy place...everything will fall into place.

I find my happy place in books! Best thing is I can take them to the gym with me (self concious of gym) and ill ride a bike and just read (allows me to focus on my book and not everyone staring at me even when i know they arent)

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find your happy place!

ACook42 · September 2011

:flowerforyou: I'm gonna set you straight RIGHT NOW. After looking at your before and after (or during as the case may be) pics I have to say this:
YOU are AMAZING, YOU look AMAZING. You have LOST 57 lbs and look really good. All this self perception is silly and you should start seeing yourself as amazing as I see you now. Yes, when you had your aha moment you had every reason to feel that way and you started to do something about it. NOW, you have A LOT to be proud of and continue to better yourself, your figure and your health.

I have seen MYSELF in pictures recently and wonder who THAT person is, I don't always see myself as being thinner then I was.
But sometime when I have a NSV, like trying on a pair of jeans (smaller then the last pair) I turn to see my butt and say " I got a cute butt" LOL but its true.

You can challenge yourself to do more, YES absolutely, but stop feeling disgusted with yourself because it is not gonna make you feel better.

You look AMAZING by the way.
And just so you know.....I don't throw around compliments all willy nilly.:flowerforyou:

dp1228 · September 2011

:flowerforyou: I'm gonna set you straight RIGHT NOW. After looking at your before and after (or during as the case may be) pics I have to say this:
YOU are AMAZING, YOU look AMAZING. You have LOST 57 lbs and look really good. All this self perception is silly and you should start seeing yourself as amazing as I see you now. Yes, when you had your aha moment you had every reason to feel that way and you started to do something about it. NOW, you have A LOT to be proud of and continue to better yourself, your figure and your health.

I have seen MYSELF in pictures recently and wonder who THAT person is, I don't always see myself as being thinner then I was.
But sometime when I have a NSV, like trying on a pair of jeans (smaller then the last pair) I turn to see my butt and say " I got a cute butt" LOL but its true.

You can challenge yourself to do more, YES absolutely, but stop feeling disgusted with yourself because it is not gonna make you feel better.

You look AMAZING by the way.
And just so you know.....I don't throw around compliments all willy nilly.:flowerforyou:

Thanks for your kind words! I'm trying to think positive but for some reason it never seems to last very long. I'll still keep trying though. Thanks again

dp1228 · September 2011

I kinda am in the same boat with you. Its self caused...Dont spend hours looking in the mirror because its only going to make you feel worse. I think that finding the key to our happiness is only something we can achieve for ourselfs.

I am in no way happy with my body. I hate the way I look and have this self image of the old me in my head. I have to let go of all the crap feelings and say screw you, friends, famiyl, and anyone else who is not supportive of me and screw my head for its stupid self image bullcrap.

Make yourself happy, dont worry about being single...once you find your happy place...everything will fall into place.

I find my happy place in books! Best thing is I can take them to the gym with me (self concious of gym) and ill ride a bike and just read (allows me to focus on my book and not everyone staring at me even when i know they arent)

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find your happy place!

haha yes i definitely use reading, watching movie or hanging out with friends as a happy place when i find myself thinking too many negative thoughts. thanks for your input i really appreciate it!

dp1228 · September 2011

Have you thought about talking with a counselor? Someone who is a professional would probably be really helpful in assisting you in positive and fair dialogue with yourself. They can help you break the cycle of a pendulum swinging between denial or self-disgust. For instance, acknowledging that you need to get healthy is positive, but acknowledging that and then telling yourself you are disgusting isn't. You need to work on true and positive affirmations, reminding yourself when the negative and self destructive thoughts surface that they aren't true or fair. Your perception of yourself can't be all or nothing; perfect or horrible.

i have thought briefly about talking to a counselor but I'm not sure if I want to quite yet. But, youa re right if I cant start that positive dialogue myself that it may be something I have to force myself to do. I don't really have anyone else I want to share this with. thank you so much for your response!

Self Perception

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