Dads staying in shape

Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.

Replies

  • coderdan82
    coderdan82 Posts: 133 Member
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

    I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

    My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

    It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

    Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.

    I'm sort of in a similar situation - I'm over 40 with a 10 year old son and I've had trouble even getting to a healthy weight for several years. I've had a few other things taking up my time but those have recently resolved and I'm now trying to put more effort into my health.

    What I've been doing this summer is trying to find active things that both me and my son can do together. We've gone on bike rides, we've tried indoor rock climbing together, I even bought both of us skateboards and started teaching him how to ride. It's been a lot of fun, quality time that got me exercising more (him too, he's really into video games). The added bonus is that I've been doing things that I normally wouldn't do because it's "really for the young people". Just imagine a middle-aged, fat guy on a skateboard. Add his son to the picture and now it doesn't look so ridiculous.

    It also helps to have some workout equipment in the house so you don't have to worry about child care when you want to do some solo workouts.

    The diet part is still a work in progress. Right now, I'm cooking calorie-counted meals for myself and that's completely separate from what my wife and son eat. It'd be nice to simplify that a bit more.

    Hope that gives you some ideas.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,985 Member
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

    I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

    My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

    It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

    Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.
    Join a gym and get a trainer. One thing people hate to do is waste money. When you pay for it, you likely end up going. Once it becomes habit, it's easier to stick to. The majority of my clients who used me, are still coming to the gym on a regular basis and are staying fit.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    coderdan82 wrote: »
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

    I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

    My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

    It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

    Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.

    I'm sort of in a similar situation - I'm over 40 with a 10 year old son and I've had trouble even getting to a healthy weight for several years. I've had a few other things taking up my time but those have recently resolved and I'm now trying to put more effort into my health.

    What I've been doing this summer is trying to find active things that both me and my son can do together. We've gone on bike rides, we've tried indoor rock climbing together, I even bought both of us skateboards and started teaching him how to ride. It's been a lot of fun, quality time that got me exercising more (him too, he's really into video games). The added bonus is that I've been doing things that I normally wouldn't do because it's "really for the young people". Just imagine a middle-aged, fat guy on a skateboard. Add his son to the picture and now it doesn't look so ridiculous.

    It also helps to have some workout equipment in the house so you don't have to worry about child care when you want to do some solo workouts.

    The diet part is still a work in progress. Right now, I'm cooking calorie-counted meals for myself and that's completely separate from what my wife and son eat. It'd be nice to simplify that a bit more.

    Hope that gives you some ideas.

    That's good. Nice to incorporate spending time with your son into getting in shape.

    We have some weights in the basement along with a couple basic cardio machines. I hate cardio though, so I usually just try to do a daily walk down the road and back. I've been lifting in the basement 2-3 times a week for the past couple of weeks now. I have a gym membership as well so I may start going back there soon again as well.

    I've fluctuated a lot over the past 10 years ever since having kids. I've found for me personally, the only way I successfully lose weight and keep it off is to always track calories. I just can't manage to eyeball things and control my portion sizes enough to keep weight off. Slowly over time it creeps back on.

    Exercise is definitely important, but really the key is diet and calories for weight loss. What's nice about exercise is the more you do, the more you can eat, up to a point. I also feel better and sleep better when I exercise on a regular basis.

    I gave up on the extreme routines I used to try years ago. Starting Strength, 5x5, extreme dieting, etc. I'm just going for a basic approach now. Sticking around 2000 calories per day, trying to get 25-30% protein each day, walk at least 5 times a week (shooting for 7500 steps per day), and then lifting either at home or at the gym 2-3 times a week for maybe 30 minutes a session.

    Good luck with your goals. Feel free to add me on here if you want. I try to log in daily to track my food and stuff.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

    I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

    My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

    It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

    Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.
    Join a gym and get a trainer. One thing people hate to do is waste money. When you pay for it, you likely end up going. Once it becomes habit, it's easier to stick to. The majority of my clients who used me, are still coming to the gym on a regular basis and are staying fit.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I did that last year. It worked well for a while. The problem was, around 6 months into it the trainer I was working with transferred from a trainer to manager. So I got a new trainer. Worked with him for about 4 months and then he got transferred to another gym. I got another new trainer, worked with him for about 1 month and then he got fired. They wanted to stick me with another trainer, I told them the hell with it.

    I'll never sign up for a year of personal training again. I really liked the first guy I was working with. The second guy was pretty good too, but didn't mesh as well with my personality. The third guy didn't really seem like he knew what he was doing. It was just a second job for him. I got tired of it all and just quit going to that gym for a while. I worked out at home for a while and then I got lazy and put on some of the weight I had previously lost.

    This time around I'm just going to do it on my own. I'm not going to be bounced around from trainer to trainer again. The solution would be to just work with one trainer separate from the gym itself, but I know that would be even more expensive. Not looking to add more bills into my budget at this time. I can handle the weight loss part, it's the part when I get near my goal and start to get complacent that is the issue. That's when I really need the focus/discipline to keep going.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,985 Member
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    Any other dads out there trying to lose weight, stay in shape, etc?

    I've been working out since my early 20's. After I got married my wife and I would go to the gym a lot and work out together. Once we had kids it became a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and stay motivated to go to the gym.

    My kids are 10 and 12 years old now and for the past 10 years or so I've struggled to maintain my weight. I've fluctuated up and down in a 30-35lb range over the past decade. I've never let myself go too far, but it's been a struggle to achieve my goals and even harder to keep the weight off once I lost it. Losing weight has never been that hard for me, but keeping it off is a real struggle as I tend to get lazy/complacent, ease up on the food tracking, skip working out and walking, etc.

    It seems it's easy to make excuses. I'm too busy with work, I'm too busy with my kids, I'm over 40 now that's just what happens, etc. The reality is I think I just need to focus on accountability and ensuring I stay on track once I get to a decent weight.

    Just curious to hear stories from other dads out there who are busy with life and have found success with weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle as it's simply not as easy to do as when I was single in my 20's.
    Join a gym and get a trainer. One thing people hate to do is waste money. When you pay for it, you likely end up going. Once it becomes habit, it's easier to stick to. The majority of my clients who used me, are still coming to the gym on a regular basis and are staying fit.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I did that last year. It worked well for a while. The problem was, around 6 months into it the trainer I was working with transferred from a trainer to manager. So I got a new trainer. Worked with him for about 4 months and then he got transferred to another gym. I got another new trainer, worked with him for about 1 month and then he got fired. They wanted to stick me with another trainer, I told them the hell with it.

    I'll never sign up for a year of personal training again. I really liked the first guy I was working with. The second guy was pretty good too, but didn't mesh as well with my personality. The third guy didn't really seem like he knew what he was doing. It was just a second job for him. I got tired of it all and just quit going to that gym for a while. I worked out at home for a while and then I got lazy and put on some of the weight I had previously lost.

    This time around I'm just going to do it on my own. I'm not going to be bounced around from trainer to trainer again. The solution would be to just work with one trainer separate from the gym itself, but I know that would be even more expensive. Not looking to add more bills into my budget at this time. I can handle the weight loss part, it's the part when I get near my goal and start to get complacent that is the issue. That's when I really need the focus/discipline to keep going.
    I understand. A lot of trainers are young and many only stay for a couple of years. Luckily for me, I've been at this last gym for 8 years and except for vacation time, I've NEVER missed a client due to absence or irresponsibility. But I understand your position because I've had a lot of clients switched to me. At least I know they are happy.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • Carlisle76
    Carlisle76 Posts: 2 Member
    cdahl383 - I feel your pain. Similar situation for me, however my kids are both in High school now and I have more free time on my hands. I also had to change the way I approach working out because of knee deterioration from years of jumping (basketball and volleyball)
    The hardest part for me is getting out of the house but once I'm out I can power through my workouts.

    Don't give up! If you can only workout for 30mins then it is better than 0.
    You got this!!
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,630 Member
    When my kids were born I was seriously out of shape, overweight. Shortly after I lost my job, and wasn't having much luck finding another, getting frustrated, starting to snap at the kids, knew that had to stop. Thought back to my teenage years when I was a runner with a runner's thin build, figured I could take out my aggravation upon myself through exercise. Lost about 50 pounds that way but had to force myself every day to go, until a buddy introduced me to weightlifting. I'd dabbled in it in my younger days, but something about it now clicked inside, and I became hooked. Shortly after I got a new job and life got a lot easier, removing the frustration, but I continued lifting because it had become my "me" time, time where I could focus just on myself and not on my job, my kids, my responsibilities.

    Fast forward almost 14 years, and at age 46 I'm still lifting four days per week. Yes, it remains one of the few ways in indulge myself, but I now also have the added incentive of staying a role model to my kids. Two are now in the military, my oldest is a contractor who works manual labor all day, and my youngest is a sophomore in high school liable to bring home a date for me to intimidate into treating her right, lol.

    Joints hurt less when I lift (and resume aching if I go without lifting for more than a couple weeks), role model for my kids (and future grandkids), "me" time...I figure I'm in this for the long haul. I want to be that 90-year-old guy in the gym years from now, maybe not lifting as heavy as I used to but still there, still banging out reps, still walking out of the gym under my own power with a straight back.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    Appreciate the comments! Not as easy to stay in shape as it was years ago when I had less responsibilities/obligations. But I guess it's either keep working at it or accept being fat/unhealthy. I really don't want to accept that, so I'll keep chugging along. I'm down 5lbs already. Another 30lbs to go to hit my first goal and then from there maybe another 10-15lbs.
  • history_grrrl
    history_grrrl Posts: 216 Member
    OP, I’m not a dad (or even male!), but I notice you’re talking more about calorie intake as the main problem area rather than the exercise side of things. Who does the meal planning and prep in your household? Are you in charge of this, or eating (too much of) what someone else is making? Are you snacking a lot during the day if you’re too busy for carefully planned sit-down meals? Knowing more about this might help you identify some eating habits you can change.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    OP, I’m not a dad (or even male!), but I notice you’re talking more about calorie intake as the main problem area rather than the exercise side of things. Who does the meal planning and prep in your household? Are you in charge of this, or eating (too much of) what someone else is making? Are you snacking a lot during the day if you’re too busy for carefully planned sit-down meals? Knowing more about this might help you identify some eating habits you can change.

    Yep calorie intake is definitely my problem. I like to eat! Haha! I pretty much handle food on my own. My wife cooks occasionally. Generally it's up to me though.

    I work from home, so it's easy to get into the habit of walking through the kitchen and grabbing a handful of nuts, pretzels, chips, a cookie, a piece of cheese, etc. If I do this multiple times a day, there's 300-400 calories without even thinking. Mindless eating. I've stopped doing that and try to just eat 3 times a day with a small snack at the end of the day.

    My problem is not losing weight, I've done that numerous times. It's slipping back into old habits after I lose the weight, then it slowly creeps back on, and I have to start over again.
  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,138 Member
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    My problem is not losing weight, I've done that numerous times. It's slipping back into old habits after I lose the weight, then it slowly creeps back on, and I have to start over again.

    This is me. I've lost the same 30-40 lbs over and over again. Doing it again right now.

    The longest I've ever been good at keeping it off was when I still ate at a deficit and tracked religiously, but gave myself like 2 meals "off" (usually I'd go out with the wife for a night of drinks and food). The deficit was enough to offset the fun nights out and kept me pretty much "maintaining" for a good while.

    Moved to a new state last year and got a new job so everything got squirrelly. Lost my workout space in the new house, so I've just started watching my diet and adapting my exercise to my new surroundings a little over a month ago. Down about 15 so far, probably another 10-15 and I'll be pretty happy.

    Losing is actually easier than maintaining in my book, but one of these days it'll stick!
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    briscogun wrote: »
    cdahl383 wrote: »
    My problem is not losing weight, I've done that numerous times. It's slipping back into old habits after I lose the weight, then it slowly creeps back on, and I have to start over again.

    This is me. I've lost the same 30-40 lbs over and over again. Doing it again right now.

    The longest I've ever been good at keeping it off was when I still ate at a deficit and tracked religiously, but gave myself like 2 meals "off" (usually I'd go out with the wife for a night of drinks and food). The deficit was enough to offset the fun nights out and kept me pretty much "maintaining" for a good while.

    Moved to a new state last year and got a new job so everything got squirrelly. Lost my workout space in the new house, so I've just started watching my diet and adapting my exercise to my new surroundings a little over a month ago. Down about 15 so far, probably another 10-15 and I'll be pretty happy.

    Losing is actually easier than maintaining in my book, but one of these days it'll stick!

    I feel the same way. Losing weight is easier than maintaining. Eventually I get tired of tracking stuff and figure I can just wing it. But that never ends well. Usually I'm good for a few months, but then eventually I slack more and more and eat more food and then before I know it I've put on 20lbs again.

    At least you're reeling yourself back in after a while rather than going off into oblivion up to 400-500lbs. It gets tiring with the ups and downs though. It's really just a mental thing. I'm not quite sure I know how to overcome that yet though.

    I'm down about 10lbs since I started getting back on track. I'd like to lose another 15-20lbs and then see how I feel/look and go from there.

    Good luck with adapting to all the new changes in your life. Sounds like once you get a good routine established you'll be fine.