0 good days out of 7. Halp!

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What do you do when you have trouble stringing two good days together? It feels like I have good intentions and make a little bit of progress, but then I get invited somewhere or I have family over and there is so much irrestible food, so I have trouble resisting, and then suddenly I've eaten 1000 calories with zero nutrition and barely have anything left in my food budget for dinner and my evening drink. I've tried bumping my calories up and I don't want to go out and exercise just so I can eat more. I think I'm eating like 5000 extra calories some days, but at some point I stop tracking because I'm terrified of what I'll see. I'm also trying to eat larger amounts of vegetables but it hasn't helped yet?
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  • DFW_Tom
    DFW_Tom Posts: 221 Member
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    stegeem wrote: »
    What do you do when you have trouble stringing two good days together?

    I don't worry about it. What's past is past. I'll log the over indulgence (making my best guess at what and how much I just ate) and try a little harder to not consume foods I know will set off my carb cravings. Maybe even eat a bit under my normal deficit for a few days as long as I'm getting enough fiber/protein and my energy levels don't suffer. Being Insulin Resistant, it usually takes me a few days to get back on my forever way of eating.

    Loading up on vegetables is a good plan. Its not going to negate what set off your cravings though. For me, filling up on a huge chef's salad doesn't help if I eat the dinner rolls, croutons, crackers, and sugar loaded dressing that might come with it. There are just some things I can not eat without losing control. Better to just avoid those things if at all possible.

    Try eating a large, nutritious meal before going to a social function - even if it puts you over your calorie goal for the day. Better to eat a couple of hundred extra healthy calories than to eat a thousand calories of junk that sets off your cravings. If others are pressuring you to try this or that, tell them you're restricted from eating certain foods. If they want to know why, you can just tell them for health reasons, or per medical advice, or anything else including ignoring the question.

    Good luck staying on plan.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
    edited November 2023
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    That sounds like compulsive eating and some people are more prone to it in general.

    Have you thought about a little therapy to learn why you aren't controlling your urges better?

    You mention an evening "drink." Are you a daily drinker? Do you also find it difficult [sometimes] to stop at one or two drinks? Compulsive food issues and drink issues are commonly co-existing.

    You don't have to answer me of course, those are pretty personal questions. Just something to think about.
  • ctreprtrs
    ctreprtrs Posts: 5 Member
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    I also am having trouble with staying on track these past few months I am a social butterfly and am always out at restaurants also.
    I find small steps have to be taken. I must be hyper aware of what I’m eating. I also have to have ready made satisfying snacks at home and remove foods I binge on. Protein heavy foods are a must have at restaurants and split a carb dish with friends when I go out. And the old saying “Those who fail to plan plan to fail” applies. Don’t give up. Every morning review what steps you will take today to stay on track. It will eventually stick for most of the time.
    Best of luck to you during the holidays!
  • bubbeE787
    bubbeE787 Posts: 34 Member
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    Yup! That’s been my problem lately too. One thing that’s helped me a bit is intermittent fasting. I have coffee in the morning but I try to hold out for my first meal until after noontime. I also need to keep busy; boredom is my enemy - especially if I’m just hanging out watching TV - a very bad combination. If I know I have an event that involves food - I try to plan for it. If it’s at a certain restaurant- I look up the menu online and make my decision before I go. If it’s a party with cake - I plan for that piece of cake. Also when going to a party, I never pick food from a bowl or shared plate and just eat it. I look around, take a plate and put veggies, fruit and whatever I chose and only eat what’s on my own plate. I can control what I’m eating then and know what I’m eating- instead of grazing and thoughtlessly eating. Take it a day at a time and never give up. Try to make adjustments to your behavior as you go - and try to analyze your own eating behavior.
  • stegeem
    stegeem Posts: 148 Member
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    You mention an evening "drink." Are you a daily drinker? Do you also find it difficult [sometimes] to stop at one or two drinks? Compulsive food issues and drink issues are commonly co-existing.

    LOL! I was wondering if I would have to clarify. I meant tea or coffee, with lots of milk of course.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
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    stegeem wrote: »
    You mention an evening "drink." Are you a daily drinker? Do you also find it difficult [sometimes] to stop at one or two drinks? Compulsive food issues and drink issues are commonly co-existing.

    LOL! I was wondering if I would have to clarify. I meant tea or coffee, with lots of milk of course.

    Haha. We are a pedantic bunch, nothin' gets by.

    Carry on!
  • stegeem
    stegeem Posts: 148 Member
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    Lietchi wrote: »
    1) it can be good to a mix of goals (larger and smaller, different types), so that you can at least reach some of your goals.

    I think this is good, but I don't think it'll gurantee I stay within a deficit.
    Lietchi wrote: »
    2) I would examine those situations where things go 'wrong' and find some useful strategies: strategies to avoid overeating in the first place and strategies for what you can do after it has happened.

    I think I struggle when I don't know how much I'm eating, sugar seems to lead to eating too much and being around temptation for too long, for example, I went to a kid's market yesterday and was around baked goods for two or three hours, and I had trouble saying no to things. I had previously had a punnet of strawberries, two bowls of chicken soup, a salad and two apples but the treats still tempted me, and when I got home I could not stop eating, I guess I felt like my day was blown anyway. I also noticed that my stomach was starting to feel full, so I think it was mouth hunger, not the real thing.

    -
    Lietchi wrote: »
    I skip breakfast or eat a lighter one, when I know I'll be having a large lunch or dinner
    - a lighter dinner option after a heavy lunch: I always have some canned soup and chicken available in my pantry for such occasions

    Good suggestions
    Lietchi wrote: »
    - sometimes it's easier to just say no, rather than say 'just a little' and then the 'little' becomes 'a bit more' and 'a bit more again'.

    I would agree with that
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,282 Member
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    stegeem wrote: »
    Lietchi wrote: »
    1) it can be good to a mix of goals (larger and smaller, different types), so that you can at least reach some of your goals.

    I think this is good, but I don't think it'll gurantee I stay within a deficit.

    That's precisely my point: they are goals on their own. Even if you didn't stay in a deficit, you at least accomplished other goals, which (hopefully) won't make you feel like you failed, but simply reached some goals and not others. Which can give you more confidence and keep progressing on your journey.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,814 Member
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    For restaurants: go online and preview the menu. There’s usually something lo-cal, or that can be altered to be lo-cal. I’ll often order a salad, hold the dressing (I bring my own small container of zero cal dressing) with grilled chicken. If I’m low on protein I may double the grilled chicken portion.

    My local Mexican restaurant has a lovely chicken “super burrito) that’s under 500 cal. I’ve done a mental analysis of the dish and find that to be pretty accurate. Chips a make you go nuclear? Ask the waiter to remove the chips and bring you a basket of sliced peppers.

    Bunco wipes me out. All those good little nibbly dishes ladies bring. Ugh! So last week I took a giant pot of buttered air popped popcorn with truffle salt. Yeah, the entire pot was easily 500 calories but so would be a couple of brownies or whatever treat was in the table. I find truffle popcorn irresistible, though, so just kept dipping into that. It was a lifesaver.

    One time I brought a large bowl of sugar free lemon yogurt mousse and didn’t tell anyone it was sugar free and low cal. It all got eaten up.

    On social days, I make sure to eat a light breakfast and lunch so I’ve got more calories to work with in the evening.

    It’s up to us to find the workarounds for what goes in our mouths.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,814 Member
    edited November 2023
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    And PS I do like to exercise so I can eat more!

    That’s why I started exercising. Who knew I’d actually enjoy it for its own sake?!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,738 Member
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    stegeem wrote: »
    What do you do when you have trouble stringing two good days together? It feels like I have good intentions and make a little bit of progress, but then I get invited somewhere or I have family over and there is so much irrestible food, so I have trouble resisting, and then suddenly I've eaten 1000 calories with zero nutrition and barely have anything left in my food budget for dinner and my evening drink. I've tried bumping my calories up and I don't want to go out and exercise just so I can eat more. I think I'm eating like 5000 extra calories some days, but at some point I stop tracking because I'm terrified of what I'll see. I'm also trying to eat larger amounts of vegetables but it hasn't helped yet?

    Much good advice above.

    Two pieces of advice I didn't see already mentioned on a skim through:

    1. Track everything, good, bad, anywhere in between. If you have to estimate, estimate. The point is to take a serious look at what we eat, and decide whether it's worth sacrificing long term health and well-being for that pleasure in the moment. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not. If we bury it under the rug, we lose the opportunity to give the question serious attention.

    Food isn't a sin, so there's no point in feeling guilty or emotional about it. It's just food. We need some. Eating too much has consequences we may not like. It's like financial budgeting. If we blow the budget on cute clothes from an online shop, and don't pay the rent, we won't like the consequences. We can have some treats, but not aaaaalllll the treats. Balance.

    2. Whatever you're trying to do, if you're struggling, make it easier. Maybe just track your food for a while, don't much worry about how much. Learn the skill, work at being consistent. (I'm betting you'll notice things you can cut out or cut down almost painlessly. I sure did.)

    Also: What Lietchi said about "blowing the day". If you're driving to a vacation spot and make a wrong turn, you don't throw up your hands, drive home, and go back to bed, right? You just get back on the right course as soon as humanly practical. Do that.

    We don't have to be perfect every day. We just have to be pretty good, on average, most of the time, and keep chipping away getting to that. Eventually, that will work.

    Best wishes: You can do this.
  • stegeem
    stegeem Posts: 148 Member
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    I don't like exercising to get more calories if the damage has already been done. It feels like punishment and it's hard to burn off enough calories to still be in a deficit. I don't mind doing it earlier in the day or if I was going to do it anyway. Some people have said that if you exercise to make up for eating you can develop an eating disorder.
  • frhaberl
    frhaberl Posts: 145 Member
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    Lots of great tips on here that I've found useful as well. I'll try not to restate those and focus on a couple I haven't seen yet -

    -Make a commitment to track everything you eat, ideally before you put it in your mouth. Sometimes the knowledge that you will need to log something, or the act of taking out your phone to enter something will create enough pause for you to decide you don't actually want to eat that thing. Even if it doesn't, it gives you the data for....
    -Look at the days when you are eating over your target as a learning opportunity. I know it can be hard to take the emotion out of it, so it might help to look at the data as if it was a friend who asked you to help them understand how they could eat the way they want to eat. Some days you may look at the data and say "This actually wasn't as bad as I made myself feel about it. I was over my loss number, but not over my maintenance number. I can live with that." Some days you may look at the numbers and recognize some "easy" adjustments that would have put you back in line, like eating lighter the rest of the day, or skipping an item that you didn't find satisfying enough to justify missing your nutrition targets. The key is to put some critical thinking into "If I find myself in this situation again (spoiler alert: you will) then I'll do xyz differently".
    -Consider anticipating those "difficult" days and planning them as maintenance practice days. That might include increasing your calorie target for that day up to your maintenance level, or "banking" calories from a day or two before so you can eat over your maintenance calories on that day but be at or below maintenance as an average for those 2-3 days. The key here is PLANNING rather than reacting.
    -Consider bringing a snack you enjoy with you so that you are less tempted to eat other items. I've smuggled strawberries and cottage cheese, bags of plain cheerios, bags of sugar snap peas, turkey jerky and other "odd" snacks into movie theaters so I have something to munch on while everyone else is eating popcorn. Can work in a pot luck setting too, where you bring a dish you know the nutrition on and want to eat, and make that your primary food for the event.
    -Consider having something "safe" to occupy your hands and mouth. I love sparkling water with a squeeze of lime or lemon, so I keep one in my hand at all times to keep myself hydrated and my hands full. I also keep cough drops, hard candy, or chewing gum in my purse so I can keep my mouth occupied and provide that pause of having to discard or finish the item in my mouth before taking a bite of something else.

    The holidays can be hard, with food being such a focus. I set a goal weight that I want to maintain between Halloween and New Years. I've already dropped a couple pounds below that, and given myself permission to gain them back if that's what I need to make it through the holidays feeling strong and in control. I'm committed to keeping up with my 10K steps a day most days, since that helps my mental health and makes me less prone to over indulge (even without the extra calories I can eat back). I've got my strategies for all the events between now and New Years, but I've also got my back up strategies for when things don't go as planned and I "mess up".

    One tip I will restate is having goals that support weight loss but aren't weight loss. My 10K steps a day is an example. If I have a day when I blow out my calorie goal but still make my 10K steps, that's a day when I had a win. Getting 100g of protein is another, as is getting >25g of fiber. There have been days when I definitely would have blown past my calorie goal (or further past) but in order to hit my protein or fiber goal I chose to eat x (lower calorie or harder for me to overeat) instead of y. Having lots of these goals helps me find the wins in each day, even when the scale isn't moving, and gives me a more balanced idea of what healthy looks like. Healthy is as many of the following as I can make happen each day - hydrated, well rested, regular (think fiber), destressed, flexible, strong, well nourished, energetic, fit, clean, present for my family, content, and on track to be at a healthy weight to support all of the above. With that list, I am pretty sure I'll hit at least one or two each day. :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    stegeem wrote: »
    I don't like exercising to get more calories if the damage has already been done. It feels like punishment and it's hard to burn off enough calories to still be in a deficit. I don't mind doing it earlier in the day or if I was going to do it anyway. Some people have said that if you exercise to make up for eating you can develop an eating disorder.

    Yes, it's a good idea to not associate exercise with punishment.

    So do plan it. I cook dinner a lot, and save take-out for higher exercise days.

    And you're right, you're not going to burn off thousands of extra calories via exercise.

    Exercising more on high calorie days will be a little helpful to you, but the most helpful will be creating strategies to rein yourself in.

    I can have issues with uncontrolled eating if I let myself get too hungry or if I haven't had enough protein and fiber, so I work hard on those things.

    When I go out to eat, I plan ahead of time to only eat half the entrée, and cut it in half right away. Eating very slowly and mindfully helps.

    Try focusing on pre-planning for a month and see how that goes :flowerforyou:
  • stegeem
    stegeem Posts: 148 Member
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    Sorry about the slow replies, I'll try and get back to everyone soon!