Frequent Dieter

IMO, one way to approach it is to look at the loss phase differently: Make it as easy as possible, with a focus on finding new, relatively pleasant routine habits that lead to an appropriate calorie balance.

When I committed to losing weight (in 2015, at age 59), I decided I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight that I wasn't willing to continue long term to stay at a healthy weight, except for a sensibly moderate calorie deficit for weight loss. I shot for moderate loss, and ended up averaging about a pound a week loss for the better part of a year. (It was a little faster loss at the start when I had more to lose, and very slow at the end as I approached goal weight.)

I experimented to test possible new habits, kept the experiments that worked out, learned from the ones that didn't work out, and kept going. Once I had a new habit that seemed good, I repeated it until it was part of my daily routine. (The majority of my days is going to trigger the majority of my results. In other words, daily habits are powerful.)

By the time I reached goal weight, maintaining was a matter of adding back a relatively small number of daily calories, and continuing the long-practiced eating/activity habits. By that point, most of the routine could happen nearly on autopilot, didn't require constant attention.

It's now roughly 8 years since I reached goal weight, and my weight has been in a healthy range the whole time. That, after around 30 previous years of overweight/obesity.

I'm not naive enough to believe that what works for me will work equally well for others: IMO, personalizing tactics is a key success factor. We all have different preferences, strengths, limitations, lifestyles, and our tactics need to work in that personal context. But the above seems to have worked well for me, FWIW. All of it happened when I was in menopause, and also severely hypothyroid (medicated for that).

I'm cheering for you to succeed, because the results are worth it!