support from family????

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corieueber
corieueber Posts: 72 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm sitting here almost in tears - hubby has come home and had a hissy fit about me going to gym tonight and not sitting home with him.

I rarely go to evening classes because l'm usually putting the children to bed but Nanna has taken them for a sleep over so l thought l'd take the opportunity to get to another class.

I can't win l'm either wasting my membership cause l don't go to enough classes or l'm selfish because l'm going to too many!!!!!!!!!

I feel pissed with him, and just needed to vent.

Replies

  • Dragongrl
    Dragongrl Posts: 186 Member
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    Maybe your hubby can go with you? Why can't you both improve your health together? To me, that's quality time...
  • jmatthews75
    jmatthews75 Posts: 525 Member
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    Not for nothing, but tell Hubby to get off his lazy @ss and go to the gym with you, if he wants to spend time with you bad enough he will..
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Eh. Tell him to man up and go to the gym with you.
  • corieueber
    corieueber Posts: 72 Member
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    That's part of my frustration, l'm working hard to firm up my butt while his is laying on the couch (after he gets home from work) - have tried to get him to come with me but l couldn't even get him to come for a walk around the block the other night with our boys!
  • FatDadSlim
    FatDadSlim Posts: 497 Member
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    Don't give him any action for a week and when he asks why tell him it's because you feel fat.

    Just read your "about me"
    I'm a Mum of two georgous boys and a hubby that works hard so l can stay home.

    I assume you don't work? if so then why not go to the gym when your hubbys at work, or are your kids not in school yet?
  • corieueber
    corieueber Posts: 72 Member
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    Don't give him any action for a week and when he asks why tell him it's because you feel fat.

    perhaps l might try this one :)
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Well. Sounds like you just have to say, "Look. I am going to work out on these days at these times and sometimes that's going to change. I'd love to spend that time with you if you're interested in working up a sweat."

    If he can't come up with ANY good ideas then he can sit home on the couch all grumpified. Just make sure you guys are spending time together, otherwise. At least a date night a week where you get dressed up, go out (not necessarily spending money) and have time for some real romance. He might be feeling neglected if you seem more enthusiastic about workouts than you do about being with him.

    Scheduling a time to talk about it is probably your best bet. Good luck. :)
  • misssedin
    misssedin Posts: 6
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    Don't give him any action for a week and when he asks why tell him it's because you feel fat.

    ^lol, I like this one.
  • Dreamin_Skinny
    Dreamin_Skinny Posts: 67
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    I would try to see where he's coming from too. If you always have the kids, then that means that you two aren't usually alone at night just the two of you. He probably saw that as an oppurtunity for the two of you to spend some time together. I'm not sayin that your weight loss isn't important but spending quality time with your man in a kid-free home should be important too.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Don't give him any action for a week and when he asks why tell him it's because you feel fat.

    Just read your "about me"
    I'm a Mum of two georgous boys and a hubby that works hard so l can stay home.

    I assume you don't work? if so then why not go to the gym when your hubbys at work, or are your kids not in school yet?

    Uh. This changes things.

    Yeah, you should probably try to get your stuff done when he's at work. It can be hard with kids but don't forget he needs you, too. Think of it like you just met and were still dating.
  • misssedin
    misssedin Posts: 6
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    I don't know anything about your story - however, I didn't have the support I wanted when I first decided to change my lifestyle, and I just was firm and said "This is what I am doing, this is why - you can like it or STFU". A happier me was going to make a happier them. They needed to know that too... and now I am supported. :)
  • littleone12484
    littleone12484 Posts: 14 Member
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    My situation is a little different, but along the same lines, I live with my family, and while I'm busting my butt trying to eat right and work out, they're bringing home fast food several nights a week, they my mom and sister do go to zumba with me, but half the time will go to a drive thru right after the class, and as frustrating as it is, and as much as I want to scream at them, I just have to tell myself that the only thing I can do is set aside time for me, and commit to getting healthy for myself, not for them. If I were you, I'd make that time non negotiable, it's you time, to help improve your health, so go take your class with or without him, without your kids home for the night you can sit around the house after working out :)
  • jmatthews75
    jmatthews75 Posts: 525 Member
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    So, let me try and figure this one out from a guy point of view and how I see it...
    So, he works all day and leaves you at home to watch after the two kids... So then he gets upset when you go the gym once he gets home? tell him to grow up and stop being a baby. that is time that he can spend with the two kids and connect with them. I don't agree that you should go to the gym during the day while he is at work. He gets that "escape" from family all day while at work, you need alone time as much as he does, so if the gym is your escape, then go to the gym. Just my thoughts though...
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    He gets that "escape" from family all day while at work, you need alone time as much as he does, so if the gym is your escape, then go to the gym. Just my thoughts though...

    Good point!

    I'd say as long as they get time alone with each other each week (or even each day for awhile) then her gym time is her time. Good call!
  • corieueber
    corieueber Posts: 72 Member
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    thanks everyone - l am stay home mum to a 2 & 4 year old so not at school yet - they do have an afternoon at nanna's and day at creche and l do go to gym those mornings, otherwise l'm on mum duty - l'm also studying so some of my child free time has to be to study. This is actually kids second night away and last night hubby and l went out, movies and dinner together - hubby is just a grump.

    gym is my time and l'm pretty sure l'll go to class tonight, it's an hour and he'll probably be online anyway and not even miss me :)
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
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    i know the feeling. i get the guilt trips because i go and read a book in bed when i should be sitting in front of the tv with my partner watching something i can't stand (real quality time hey?)

    TV is so much of the worlds problems it's not funny isn't it....
  • brit_girl
    brit_girl Posts: 12
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    My partner has kind of tuned out about the whole thing as hes thinking 'here we go again....another diet' blah blah blah!

    He has been a little funny lately as I have started a new job and made a lovely group of friends and Ive been going out more. hes used to me staying in all the time but for once, Im going out, enjoying myself and catching up on all the wasted years spent at home.

    Remember that you're doing this for YOU noboday else and keep going x
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    TV is so much of the worlds problems it's not funny isn't it....

    You said it, sister!
  • corieueber
    corieueber Posts: 72 Member
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    went to the gym, had a great class, feel great

    hubby is over his grump and even had a snack waiting for me when l got home :)

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