Meeting some colleagues for dinner, any advice is appreciated

caffeinebuzz10 · February 2

I'm meeting some friends from work for dinner.

Here is the restaurant's website and menu:

https://www.thebreweryonhayes.com/#Menus

I don't drink, so that is a variable we can eliminate. I'll have about 1000 calories in my budget for the evening. I'm not worried about macros, but I tend to be fairly low carb and it seems to work best for me.

I've never 'grilled' a waiter on how they make their steaks. I've got to think it's reasonable to ask "May I ask how your chefs prepare the filet?" I love a steak with a little salt and pepper. I don't need anything else. Sometimes folks add all kinds of butter or zip sauce. Delicious but not needed.

My question, after a bunch of my rambling, is simply this:

What is your strategy in this situation?

mtaratoot · February 2

I would just get the calamari. But I love that.

If you love steak, get the NY steak. It will have more flavor than the filet (filet is tender but, in my opinion, kind of bland). They probably wrap the filet in bacon. I love a ribeye, but that thing is HUGE.

Live a little. Don't worry about the butter. A 14-ounce NY steak has almost 1200 calories just on its own. Even if they use a whole tablespoon of butter, that only adds 100 calories.

I bet the frog legs are good. Never had them, so I might go for that.

COGypsy · February 2

My strategy depends on the situation. Is this a big treat or a celebration, or just dinner? If it's a celebration, I try to be conservative, but go more with what I want to have than what I should have.

My rules for just a regular dinner out are a little more defined:

I never order appetizers, if one is ordered for the table, I will usually have a piece or a bite, but no more than that.

I stick to the reasonable options rather than what I'd probably order otherwise. For example, I might want the Nashville Hot Fried Chicken Sandwich, but I'll order the grilled chicken sandwich.

I sub and/or add vegetables for the side dish. I check the side dishes to see if there are any good vegetable options. I usually do the side salad as a last resort. So many times it's just a bowl of iceberg lettuce with a sprinkle of cheese and some croutons, you know?

Unless it's a small plates-type place or an appetizer as entree, I only eat half of the meal, if that. Once I've finished that portion, I get the rest boxed up.

Desserts have the same rules as appetizers--never one for myself, just a bite if the table is sharing.

Probably half or more of my meals are out or takeout, so these are just the rules I've developed over time. They work for me because I can manage my intake and yet still enjoy the evening and not make a big fuss about how I'm on a diet and can't have this or that.

frhaberl · February 2

This is very taste driven, but the things that stood out to me on the menu are
-Tuna Poke appetizer. I usually skip the fried wonton chips, but I could see ordering this as my main.
-Gorgonzola salad. I always ask for dressing on the side and might ask for the gorgonzola on the side if I wanted to control the portion of that vs estimate it. I would ask the waiter about the portion size of the chicken and salmon add-ons and get one of those to make it a filling main.
-Seared Diver Sea Scallops. I would probably ask to sub grilled asparagus for the corn risotto.

I also think the reason for the dinner and whether I have a lot of similar events in a short time period would influence my decisions. I've learned that spending more than a certain amount of energy on "watching what I eat" at one event is not worth it in the long run, especially if the events are few and far between. My dear hubby has expressed (when asked) that he sometimes feels like I'm not as present for a special occasion dinner because I'm too busy adding up calories in my head. I'm learning to do what you're doing and have a game plan, but also relax and recognize that one meal of less controlled calories/macros is going to be a tiny blip in the larger scheme (if that).

AnnPT77 · February 2

I agree with mtaratoot about the contribution of butter to a steak, but also don't see the difficulty in asking the waiter "would it be possible to get that without added butter or sauce?", if that's what you want. (I've been vegetarian for going on 50 years, including early times when restaurants pretty much never had official vegetarian options. I know nothing about steak, but I have a lot of experience working with waitstaff to get something I can eat. They're usually very helpful, to the extent they're able. Looks like you're in the US (not far from me, actually), so if they are helpful, please tip well!)

I also agree with COGypsy that if it were a really special thing, celebration or even just a restaurant that was extra-special, I'd order the food I most wanted, keep it reasonable (probably

!), but not stress about the calorie count. If more an event where the value is in the company, not the meal, then I'd be more conservative.

One question I'm implying here is about how often you encounter situations like this.

It's the majority of our days - routine repeated daily habits - that give us the majority of our results, not one rare unusual day. Revamping routine habits is our weight management power tool.

For myself, I looked at weight loss as an opportunity to find and practice (to the point of autopilot) new daily eating/activity patterns that would get me to a healthy weight, and keep me there long term. I didn't do anything to lose that I wasn't willing to do forever, except for a sensibly moderate calorie deficit during loss.

Weight loss is not a quick project with an end date, after which things go back to normal. That's the formula for yo-yo-ing. Weight management is a forever endeavor.

That implies a need to figure out how best to handle routine, semi-frequent eating situations that are challenging. If someone eats in restaurants often (by job or preference), then figuring out how to manage that really well is part of the process. If it's a rare thing, it's not high impact, and it can be life-enhancing to indulge occasionally. If it's rare, it really has no observable impact on long-term outcomes.

For example, I've never figured out how to handle potlucks, though I've tried a bunch of tactics. Some combination of FOMO and the visual temptation means I over-eat at potlucks, so far. Eventually, I figured out that since they were a few times a year thing in my life, I could relax and now don't worry too much. I've maintained a healthy weight for nearly 8 years since loss despite that. One meal is a drop in the ocean.

You're doing a good thing with looking at the menu and planning ahead. Figuring out how it fits in for you is IMO part of the equation, to look at this as practice for the rest of your eating life.

Man, that sounds scary.

You'll do fine. Enjoy your meal. Best wishes!

caffeinebuzz10 · February 2

This will be the first time we've met friends or colleagues for dinner in a long time. It's pretty rare. I manage a small department and once a year, my wife and I like to take my supervisors our for a nice dinner.

Thanks for the responses. Rather than wing it, I have a plan. My only firm boundary is to do my best to log it accurately. These folks make a great steak and I love asparagus. My wife and I are leaving some room to share some carrot cake.

caffeinebuzz10 · February 5

it went really well, i was a bit over budget, and I learned what a whole lot of carbs at once does to my blood sugar....took about 3 hrs, but it was the highest it's been in weeks....about 170ish...that's not alarmingly high though....i roller coastered a bit all day the next day though, mostly dealing with low sugar issues at times....for me, limited carbs, high fat and protein really keeps my sugar on the even keel

I logged it all and I'm on track

Meeting some colleagues for dinner, any advice is appreciated

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