Gym Fear

bpt9xt646k · March 26

Hey guys! So I am trying to lose weight in an efficient way. I am wanting to lose weight and tone my body, but also gain muscle so I feel strong during the process. One thing that holds me back is being around others in the gym. I love exercising, but being around so many muscular or toned people can scare me away from doing certain exercises because I don’t want to be seen or made fun of. Any tips on how to get out of my comfort zone so I can truly give it my all in the gym?

tomcustombuilder · March 26

Ha! Those people are too busy with what they look like to worry about you. In reality most love to see someone working out that is in sub par condition as they were also there at some point and know the challenge.

matthewgeraldfrench879 · March 27

Agreed. They don't care. They are there for themselves. Most people at the gym just want to get there work out in and roll out. They have places to be. I enjoy going in the early morning, so it isn't crowded and I can get to all the things I want to do.

cmriverside · March 27

Here is the deeper spiritual truth of this:

If you are judging others in your mind, you will always believe that others are judging you with the same measure.

Try thinking of these "fit" people as role models, as examples of how to work your body. I promise that when you think good of others, you will believe they are thinking good about you.

I've never experienced a negative comment in a gym. It's a place of life and healing. :flowerforyou:

minstrelofsarcasm · March 27

Hi! Certified Personal Trainer here - I'm glad you're recognizing some of your hang-ups when it comes to working out, we all have them in some way, shape, or form. You are not alone.

In addition to all of the previous comments, I would also like to recommend:

bringing headphones so you can't hear everyone else's noises - listen to music/audio books/podcasts/etc.
find areas where you can focus on you, whether this be facing a wall or a window, or so close to a mirror that you'd have to try hard to see anyone else
bring a friend you trust! It is so much more difficult to pay attention to other people when you have a buddy getting sweaty alongside you

Gyms are only as scary as you make them, and if you have strategies to make your gym feel more welcoming and comfortable, it's not as difficult to find your groove there.

mtaratoot · March 27

What you may not realize is that some of those fit and "toned" people at the gym might not have always been that way. There's a good chance that some of them started out just the opposite. They might have seen YOU at the gym even in your current condition and thought, "I could never be that strong."

It just takes time and commitment. The best time to start is five years ago. The second best time is TODAY.

pridesabtch · March 27

I've been on both ends of this conversation, super fit and super unhealthy and overweight. It's true that people aren't there to judge you. You must get that out of your head. Most of the fit folk are excited to see someone trying to improve themselves.

It's also true that not everyone at the gym is svelte and tone. That is just who you are fixating on. There are plenty of average folks and plenty of out of shape folks just trying their best to make it through another day a little better than they did the day before.

Let the gym by a safe space, find peace in your effort.

Unless you have a question or need help, leave the others out of it. Of course, if you do have a question or need help, those fit, tone folks are usually very nice and willing to help as long as they are between sets.

claireychn074 · March 27

I am probably one of those people you would think looks reasonably fit and toned - certainly for my age. And yet every single time I go into a public gym I’m hoping no one looks at me. We’re all the same - I think you just get used to exercising in front of others in time. And there is always someone fitter, slimmer, better at an exercise etc than me - that’s just the way of the world.

I ONLY judge people when they’re being arseholes to others in the gym!

kshama2001 · March 27

bpt9xt646k wrote: »

Hey guys! So I am trying to lose weight in an efficient way. I am wanting to lose weight and tone my body, but also gain muscle so I feel strong during the process. One thing that holds me back is being around others in the gym. I love exercising, but being around so many muscular or toned people can scare me away from doing certain exercises because I don’t want to be seen or made fun of. Any tips on how to get out of my comfort zone so I can truly give it my all in the gym?

I have some social anxiety, so I empathize. I agree with the posters who said nobody actually cares about you. That said, I did feel somewhat awkward when I belonged to a gym where all the other members seemed to be college-aged, so, considerably younger than me. I coped by going at off-peak times and using ear buds.

If you haven't already joined a gym, I'd recommend Planet Fitness due to their "No Judgement Zone" philosophy. I haven't belonged to one myself so I can't speak to how well that works. However, I have belonged to many YMCAs and have seen plenty of round bodies there and no one super-jacked.

YMCAs are more expensive than Planet Fitness, but they have more amenities and also scholarships.

Where ever you join, there should be some free trainings with memberships. Just taking advantage of this has made me feel more comfortable in new facilities. (I do recommend trying for an off-peak appointment time.)

nicsflyingcircus · March 28

I've lost 112lbs, still about 85-95 to go and starred going to the gym to use the weight machines about a month ago. Nobody cares what anybody else looks like. I listen to an audiobook and do my thing.

I even talked to a very fit stranger there the other day about wether she was done with a machine I wanted. She wasn't, but was super nice about it and found me when she was done with it so I could use it before someone else grabbed it.

SaintGiff · March 28

Lifelong gym rat. I agree with some of this advice. I disagree with other parts of it. Here's the perspective from someone who has been in and out of gyms since the 80s...

Spatial Awareness is a thing. Just be mindful of your surroundings and do not walk through someone's range of motion. That's really it. Gyms get crowded, and you are sometimes very close to one another. Just mentally clock what someone is doing and how much space they are using for that movement.

The above does NOT apply to walking through someone's "shot". If they want to record themselves they can set up the phone within their range of motion or they can deal with people walking through their shot. You are under no obligation to walk around someone's camera angle.

Ask questions. Seriously. I know that for younger people this seems like crazy talk, but just ask questions. What people do not realize is that everyone loves to talk about what they are doing and why. Think of your favorite hobby. Now think of someone just starting out asking you how you do a certain thing in that hobby. Awesome, right?

For the love of everything holy, do not talk to someone as they are actively doing their set. That is like the greatest gym sin. Just wait until they finish their set and talk to them in between sets.

Lastly, and this is the big one.... No one cares what you are doing. If you go in there and you feel all of these people looking at you and judging you, just understand that you are being very mean to them. You are casting them as a bad person in a skit that is playing only within your own mind. And you are then using them to say bad things about yourself. That is really unfair to them as 99% of the time they did not even notice you at all. Do not be mean to people that way. Do not use them to say mean things to yourself. When you do that then you attach negativity to that person who could end up being a really decent human. You know how important first impressions can be. You are literally robbing those people of the opportunity to make a first impression on you because you already created that impression in your head.

TeenaMarina · March 30

I used to feel the same way. Turns out there are so many different body types at the gym. And no one is looking at you. No one is looking at me. Now the gym is my happy place, and I just zone out and listen to my music and I do my own thing. I still feel a little self-conscious at times, but that’s all about me, not the other people. Everyone is doing their own thing!

csplatt · April 1

I did the gym from college through about age 38 and loved it. It was my happy place. Then I had some chronic pain and my schedule got so busy and I started to feel lost at the gym. I just wanted to leave. I was afraid of getting hurt, tired of driving there, tired of waiting for machines. I wanted to lift heavy but couldn’t anymore. Wanted to run fast but couldn’t anymore. So I quit and I started doing workout videos in front of my TV and honestly that is a good fit for this stage of my life. I do some body weight and have a few dumbbells. So realistically you don’t HAVE TO join the gym.

elisa123gal · April 1

It is always so awkward starting back at the gym, for me. It isn't them .. it is me. I wear something modest and baggy.. so you I blend in.. and dive in. Anyone who works out respects others who try. Don't let the devil on your shoulder talk you out of becoming your best self. In your gym, you will find your greatest cheerleaders.

Gym Fear

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