What are your triggers?

I'm going to my mums for lunch today. I didn't want to, as I would rather just have a visit without food being involved. Mum knows I've lost a but of weight (24lbs) but I know the meal won't be overly healthy. Mum is an amazing cook don't get me wrong, but we all know it's the bad stuff that makes it taste so good. I will be declining any dessert and will remain firm on that, but I'm dreading the little comments...a little bit won't hurt...are you sure you won't have any?...
The thing is, it does hurt, because I don't do just little bits. I fall off that wagon and get so far down the hill it feels impossible to get back up again.
Another trigger for me last week was someone in my office planning a birthday morning tea for me this week. I said I didn't want it, but she kept insisting. Then my manager kept insisting. In the end I waited until it was my day off and sent a text that I wanted her to cancel it...which she did, but she was a bit abrupt about it. Both know that I am struggling with an eating disorder, and part of my healing is the need to avoid situations that I find send me tumbling into a spiral.
I have chronic depression and anxiety. I'm trying so hard to keep my head out of water, but I'm tired of my saying no thank you not being accepted and simply being ignored.
Any suggestions? Or AITA?

Answers

  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 3,621 Member
    No, you aren't at fault. You don't offer a recovering alcoholic a drink, you don't offer a recovering druggie
    A hit, and you definitely shouldn't INSIST someone with an eating disorder eat! Not if you care.

    At least maybe your office mates finally get it, and will pay attention to what you're saying now.
    If you have the nerve, tell your mom you love her, show her this post and ask her to read it.
  • PinUpDreamer926
    PinUpDreamer926 Posts: 29 Member
    I can relate to this on so many levels. You definitely are not at fault here. I'm a binge eater and "a little bit won't hurt" absolutely can if you're in a bad head space. Food is a battle, but you don't fight alone, I promise!
  • Hobartlemagne
    Hobartlemagne Posts: 561 Member
    You really need to talk to these pushy people about your needs.
    I know its very hard bringing it up, but if you do it ahead of time in a situation where it isn't reactionary it could be easier. Maybe frame it in a way that you need their help with your food temptations.
    No matter what- talk about it. Dont suffer in silence.