Complicated dating

jessicasmum2008
jessicasmum2008 Posts: 68 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi long story short. 7 months ago I found out my ex was on the s register and he had not told his parole officer he was in a relationship with me and I had children. I was with him 4 years. Social services got involved as at 1st I was defending him by saying it was his past n he's not that person now.
So social services told my daughters dad he should take her and I was only allowed to see her supervised to start with while assessments were done on me to make sure I could keep my daughter safe and put her 1st.
I obviously passed all these assessments and social services are now not involved anymore and they know I'm a good mum and put my daughter 1st.
My question is, is it too soon to start dating again? Will this make my family and social services think I don't put my daughter 1st? She means the world to me but I'm only human and miss having someone to share moments with, talk to, go places with, cuddle up to, care about and love.
I am dating at the moment, but it's very early days and not rushing into anything. I agreed with social services i would get police checks done on any potential boyfriend and i will do. He says he's clean but only thing I'm not sure about how my family and social services will react to him being a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober 2 years now.
Any advice please?
Thanx.

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Any type of probably issues from addiction, prior arrests and or convictions are ALWAYS a flag to watch for by social services. My younger brother was a recovering drug addict..................till our mom passed. He relapsed and then OD'ed a couple of years ago. Would I ever trust my brother with my own daughter alone even if he was recovering? Nope.

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  • AllaboutDaCake
    AllaboutDaCake Posts: 841 Member
    I don't think dating is the issue here, I think it's more of how fast you introduce this person to your daughter. I'm strong believer that children (especially at a young age) shouldn't be introduced to multiple partners, unless you see yourself with this person for a very long time. My boundaries are strong with my kids, they only met my husband several months after we started to date.

  • jessicasmum2008
    jessicasmum2008 Posts: 68 Member
    Thank you for the replies. I get that social services won't think its a good thing that he is a recovering alcoholic but surely he deserves a chance like anyone does to be happy and leave his past behind him?
    I won't be having him at my house or seeing my daughter for at least 6 months, longer if needs be. I'm not rushing into anything and making sure I do the right thing of getting police checks on him, getting to know him as much as I can before he meets my daughter who is 8.
    Surely I can't be denied or judged for wanting to date and see where it goes?
  • nonchalantxo
    nonchalantxo Posts: 571 Member
    In my eyes, a man who has a troubled past is not worth it especially when you have kids. There are other men to pick out there.


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