Can't Get Back Into It
DiabetesDaddy
Posts: 13 Member
At the end of last year I went to the doctor for a routine physical and my A1C came back at 8.1 my cholesterol was the highest it has ever been and my blood pressure was high as usual. My wife was going over my numbers with me in front of my seven year old daughter and she started crying uncontrollably and was worried her dad was going to die.
So I knew what I had to do, I was 306 lbs (5'6'') on 12/28 and at my follow up doctor appointment I was 254. My A1C was down to 5.8 and all my bloodwork was stellar. I check my blood pressure every morning and every evening, all great numbers.
The issue is ever since my doctor appointment and my labs I have been seriously messing up. In extreme moderation I have been eating the garbage that I LOVE and I have been putting off exercising. The last thing I want to do is let down my daughter, but damn, fries and cheese sauce are just so good.
How do you guys keep motivation up after achieving a goal?
So I knew what I had to do, I was 306 lbs (5'6'') on 12/28 and at my follow up doctor appointment I was 254. My A1C was down to 5.8 and all my bloodwork was stellar. I check my blood pressure every morning and every evening, all great numbers.
The issue is ever since my doctor appointment and my labs I have been seriously messing up. In extreme moderation I have been eating the garbage that I LOVE and I have been putting off exercising. The last thing I want to do is let down my daughter, but damn, fries and cheese sauce are just so good.
How do you guys keep motivation up after achieving a goal?
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Replies
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Set another goal.5
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DiabetesDaddy wrote: »At the end of last year I went to the doctor for a routine physical and my A1C came back at 8.1 my cholesterol was the highest it has ever been and my blood pressure was high as usual. My wife was going over my numbers with me in front of my seven year old daughter and she started crying uncontrollably and was worried her dad was going to die.
So I knew what I had to do, I was 306 lbs (5'6'') on 12/28 and at my follow up doctor appointment I was 254. My A1C was down to 5.8 and all my bloodwork was stellar. I check my blood pressure every morning and every evening, all great numbers.
The issue is ever since my doctor appointment and my labs I have been seriously messing up. In extreme moderation I have been eating the garbage that I LOVE and I have been putting off exercising. The last thing I want to do is let down my daughter, but damn, fries and cheese sauce are just so good.
How do you guys keep motivation up after achieving a goal?
Only you can decide that your daughter is more important than cheesy fries. Either she is, or she isn't. Every time you choose the cheesy fries knowing it's going to be a problem, you're saying that they are more important than being there for your daughter. That being said, you can get your health under control by losing weight, and you can still eat the foods you live in reasonable quantities (i.e. calorie counting).3 -
sollyn23l2 - I appreciate your reply, and you are correct, and that is how I lost the initial 50 pounds. I just kept saying that nothing tastes as good as watching her graduate or get married etc.
I just have to learn how to re-introduce foods that I enjoy into my life.
I just noticed that it is starting to become as issue and I do not want it to get out of control. Kind of a "nip it in the bud" before it becomes a problem.4 -
I think you need a mix of:
- motivation: deep motivation, the reasons why you are doing this
- concrete goals: preferably a variety of different goals, linked to your weight and blood markers, but also 'process goals' like logging everything you eat and drink, a certain number of steps per day (a gradually increasing goal, if appropriate), a certain amount of veg per day etc.
For exercise: focus on exercise you find pleasant, don't force yourself to do exercise you don't enjoy. Find ways to make the threshold lower to start exercise: instead of aiming for an hour off the bat, start with 10 minutes; prepare your workout clothes in the evening if you want to workout early in the morning the next day; etc. If going to the gym is a mental threshold, look for ways to be active in/around the house. (It's silly, but I've actually worked out in my pyjamas occasionally at home, when even changing into workout clothes seemed too much of a hassle)
I would also try to focus on adding things to your diet to make it healthier (extra vegetables,...) rather than focusing on eliminating foods. So have those fries and cheese, but halve the portion and add a big salad, for example. Or find slightly healthier alternatives: for example oven fries, lower fat cheese,...2 -
You already know the answer. Stop overthinking it. Do your routines like logging and put on your gym clothes and get it in. For me, the easiest time is when I'm still asleep lol. I get up early early to get the exercise in , then my steps are good for the day and I have added a calorie deficit from so much exercise. Go ahead and eat your fries with cheese. Just do a 5 mile run first...or whatever you need to do to get to match that amount of calories. Great job by the way. We all get knocked down. No one cares about getting knocked down. Everyone cares about how much you are in the fight. Get back in the fight.2
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Lietchi - I definitely have the motivation, I really think that you hit the nail on the head with the concrete goals. When I started this journey at the beginning of the year I just knew that a) I was a fat @ss and I did not want to be that way anymore b) I wanted to get my blood sugar and blood pressure under control. I guess getting those results ( as well as constant congratulations on the weight loss from co-workers and friends) made me feel like I was a "normal" person again. It made me feel like eating a whole large pizza and washing it down with a six pack was ok. I know in my brain that behavior like that will take me back over 300 in no time.
I am going to start getting back to going to the gym EVERY morning and swimming, just set my alarm and go. Also, keep weighing in and keep the scale going in the correct direction.1 -
DiabetesDaddy wrote: »Lietchi - I definitely have the motivation, I really think that you hit the nail on the head with the concrete goals. When I started this journey at the beginning of the year I just knew that a) I was a fat @ss and I did not want to be that way anymore b) I wanted to get my blood sugar and blood pressure under control. I guess getting those results ( as well as constant congratulations on the weight loss from co-workers and friends) made me feel like I was a "normal" person again. It made me feel like eating a whole large pizza and washing it down with a six pack was ok. I know in my brain that behavior like that will take me back over 300 in no time.
I am going to start getting back to going to the gym EVERY morning and swimming, just set my alarm and go. Also, keep weighing in and keep the scale going in the correct direction.
I think it's really important to set realistic goals that you know you can achieve. Saying that you're going to go to the gym EVERY morning and going to go swimming, seems like it's a very high bar to set right now. Maybe you can compromise by setting a goal that's half as good - "I am going to go to the gym at least 3 times per week". And if you go more often, then it's just a bonus benefit.
If you start off too strong, it's really difficult to maintain - as you're aware of since you've started going back to your bad habits.3 -
kaferine69 - You are so right. I have always been pretty much all or nothing, so if I set my alarm for Monday morning and then I roll back over and go back to sleep I will just think that the entire week is shot and I will start again next Monday. Setting the goal for three days a week and anything additional just being bonus is great. I appreciate that.0
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I generally agree with those above.
Also, without intending to be harsh, I'm sensing some all-or-nothing thinking in phrasing like "garbage foods I LOVE". You say you're eating those things you love "in extreme moderation". That may not be a deal-breaker, if you don't let yourself slide down a slippery slope to excess calories or poor overall nutrition.
IMO, a good, personally-sustainable way of eating is about balance: Appropriate calories, reasonable overall nutrition on average over a day or few, and a few treats within that framework purely for joy. Misery and deprivation is optional, at least where moderation is achievable.
I lost around 1/3 of my body weight, blood pressure and blood tests went from scary to solidly normal, and have stayed there for around 8 years since that weight loss. I still eat deep-fried foods (just much less frequently than I used to), pizza, chocolate, some baked goods (though those last aren't really my Big Thing and never were). I figure that having cheese (daily, in my case - sometime multiple servings) is fine, and the nutrition in it counts. Even when it comes to things that are pretty purely treat foods, like chocolates, eating an appropriate portion at some point during the day doesn't cancel out the broccoli I had earlier. Balance.
When it comes to exercise, I hope you found - or are seeking - some form of movement that you actually enjoy. Sometimes people think that exercise has to be punitively intense and miserable, in order to have benefits for health, weight management or fitness improvement. 100% myth. Finding something fun (or at least tolerable and practical) is kind of magical.
I was lucky: I found some things that were so fun I'd do them even if they weren't good for me, but they are. They even motivated me to do other things I don't enjoy as much, in order to be better at those loved things.
IMO, the sweet spot is enjoyable/tolerable exercise that's just a manageable bit of a challenge. If it's enjoyable/tolerable, we'll be more inclined to do it regularly rather than procrastinate/skip with the slightest excuse. Keeping the manageable challenge always in the picture creates fitness progress.
There are so many options: Gym stuff, sure . . . but also biking, swimming, active video or VR games, other games like pickleball or golf or whatever, martial arts, canoeing/kayaking, different types of dancing . . . I could go on and on. It doesn't have to be the same thing every time, either.
In your case, is there anything involving movement that would be fun for you to do with your daughter? Frisbee? Helping her learn to ride a bike? Playing catch? Lots of options there, too. That would not only burn some calories (and create some fitness momentum) for you, but start setting her up for an active, happy life with you as an excellent role model.
Wishing you success!6 -
DiabetesDaddy wrote: »kaferine69 - You are so right. I have always been pretty much all or nothing, so if I set my alarm for Monday morning and then I roll back over and go back to sleep I will just think that the entire week is shot and I will start again next Monday. Setting the goal for three days a week and anything additional just being bonus is great. I appreciate that.
I always like exercising on Tuesday - Thursday. I'm too tired on Monday from coming off of the weekend, and by Friday morning I'm just really looking forward to a rest on the weekend. So those 3 middle of the week days are my best ones, in terms of exercise!
But, also during the weekend, I have more hours available during the day to do physical activities that are normally restricted to evening during the weekday due to work. So on Saturday or Sunday afternoons I like to get in a nice bike ride. Maybe that's something you can involve your daughter in, too!2 -
Consider also the example you are setting for your daughter. That works both food wise and regarding exercise. Go for walks or bike rides as a family. Go to the pool or beach together. Put music on and dance and play together. Shoot baskets or kick around a soccer ball. If you eat junk food, she will grow up thinking that that is what she should be able to eat too. If you use food as a reward, so will she. Is this what you want for her?2
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I'm sure you love your daughter more than anything. I am also sure you don't want to be overweight and unhealthy.
It is tough.. and even tougher for others. Some of us love food more than others and some of us tie happiness to eating comfort foods.
You simply have to find your way.. what will work for you. Maybe finding lower calorie ways to make your favorite treats and eat them only once a week or every other week.. and eat on your plan the rest of the time. Figure out what will work for you. it takes time but you can do it...2 -
I tell myself that I'm going swimming every day. My underlying goal is not to miss two days in a row. When I really don't want to go, I have to ask myself why. One thing I heard and firmly believe is that the quality of my workout is not affected at all by my motivation to do it. There are so many times when I really don't want to go, but I go and end up having a great workout. I telling yourself that you'll go every day works for you, try it. But there's no starting only on Mondays. Tomorrow goes by all kinds of names.3
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Just keep plugging at it and refuse to quit.
You’re worth it!1 -
I really hope that I’m not out of line but your weight is really high and that suggests that you have an overall unhealthy relationship with food.
This could be a mental thing rather than a physical (putting food down). You seem to have an emotional attachment to food which is something you need to work through.
The types of foods you pick are addictive so you’re also fighting an addiction. I suggest you work with someone professionally to understand why you use food for comfort.
I’m a student psychologist and food addiction is a real problem in our modern world and it needs to be addressed like any other addiction.
This is beyond putting the fork down and more about understanding why we are picking it up so often.
Food is for energy and fuel rather than a recreational activity so we need to separate that and look at food differently.
I truly apologise if I offended you or make you feel bad. I’m not the most diplomatic person and I lack social skills. I hope you could understand what I’m trying to convey to you. I wish you health and happiness.1 -
elisa123gal - Thank you for your kind words. The thing that makes me crazy is that I dropped the first 50 lbs with no issue at all. It didn't take a ton of will power, I just knew what I had to do so I did it. The thing was I had the "Finish Line" of my doctor appointment last month. I guess subconsciously I told myself that if I had good numbers at that appointment everything was going to be ok. I just have to get serious again. Luckily I haven't put any additional weight on, I just haven't lost any.
girlwithcurls2 - That's a great piece of advice. Just try to not miss two days in a row, and it doesn't matter how you feel about the exercise, the results are the same. I have gotten up every morning this week and swam 45 minutes. It's my favorite kind of cardio. I started on the treadmill and that just sucks.
edersuzanne5-
LALA5295 - I appreciate your comments, but it doesn't take a psychologist (student or otherwise) to figure out I have a problem with food.
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Do you self the favour of forgetting all or nothing, on point or spending days, weeks, inevitably at some point years trying to get back to it.
You don't have to exercise and take the time to get to a pool dress undress to do hard cardio in order to move more by carrying your daughter on a piggy back ride around the block.
You don't have to give up the occasional burger. Just throw in a couple of lbs of cauliflower and broccoli and carrots, or two of three apples down the hatch first band see how much room for burgers you have after that! Some yes but you might even walk out of mcd with one sandwich and a glass of water or coke zero like i do now instead of two sandwiches, super sized fries and super sized regular pop like I did till 2014 or so.
Stop mourning the unsustainable destructive lifestyle you have to modify, look at it dispationately and pick big rewards for small pain one by one to make changes.
Freebie: my first big wins on MFP logging was eliminating most dressings and meah, it's not the end of the world if I give this up or switch to something different, condiment calories. And pop calories. Then slowly coming to the comprehension of portion size and that family sized bags are for families not a single person.
Lack of regain is one of the biggest wins don't belittle it
You don't have to be perfect to improve..
You can have anything you want
Just not in unlimited quantities and all of the time
Treats were treats because they weren't an everyday thing.
Everyday things should be staples else the treats are the staples!🤔
You CAN eat the garbage you love in moderation but it's a very hard path to win with
Keep some loves ditch some and replace with something filling and satiating. Rince and repeat!3 -
Yeah. What @Pav8888 said.
I wrote out a long answer and then fumble-fingered my phone and lost it. I come back to try again and see an answer better stated than I did.
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It truthfully means a lot for everyone that has taken the time to reply and offer advice.5
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DiabetesDaddy wrote: »It truthfully means a lot for everyone that has taken the time to reply and offer advice.
That's good.
Willpower is nearly useless to accomplish most goals in life, explicitly it sucks at health and weight.
Create some small manageable structures. Be coach-able. Cling to supporters with a life or death grip (Sounds like it is that for you right now.) Never stop telling your story, here, with supporters, with your friends. Some people might fall away, others (like some of the hardheads here) will be with you all the way, riding all the ups and downs, and still be here. Show up.
I'll see you tomorrow @DiabetesDaddy
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Some good comments above
I'm going to tough love you a bit.
You met your goal regarding labs. That is great but to be brutally honest, it should be considered a short term goal. At 5'6" and 254 pounds you in the morbidly obese category on BMI. You; labs aren't going to stay good long term at that weight.
You said your daughter started crying when your prior health markers were discussed. I'm paraphrasing from someone else but, for a good, strong, motivator you need something that makes YOU cry. Picture yourself lying dead in a casket, in your hand a big container of cheese fries, maybe a bit of cheese sauce on your dead lips, while your wife and 12 year old daughter look at you in tears. Are the cheese sauce and fries still so damn good?
Be responsible and do what you know you have to do. Good luck.2 -
It's not about motivation. That comes and goes. You just have to be consistent on a SET routine day in and day out. Like brushing your teeth. You don't need motivation to do it.DiabetesDaddy wrote: »At the end of last year I went to the doctor for a routine physical and my A1C came back at 8.1 my cholesterol was the highest it has ever been and my blood pressure was high as usual. My wife was going over my numbers with me in front of my seven year old daughter and she started crying uncontrollably and was worried her dad was going to die.
So I knew what I had to do, I was 306 lbs (5'6'') on 12/28 and at my follow up doctor appointment I was 254. My A1C was down to 5.8 and all my bloodwork was stellar. I check my blood pressure every morning and every evening, all great numbers.
The issue is ever since my doctor appointment and my labs I have been seriously messing up. In extreme moderation I have been eating the garbage that I LOVE and I have been putting off exercising. The last thing I want to do is let down my daughter, but damn, fries and cheese sauce are just so good.
How do you guys keep motivation up after achieving a goal?
And I get there are foods you love, but what's it gonna take to get you to get your weight under control? A heart attack? A stroke? Cause as a rehab guy I can tell you that the people I have to work with just so they can do things like walk, or just move normally again go through a lot.
You set a goal earlier just to have better blood work and then when you achieved it, you felt you FINISHED. It's NEVER finished. People that are in normal or lean do the things NECESSARY day in and day out so that they don't get overweight or so they don't get onset health issues.
All I can tell you is that you have to find a program you can do day in and day out and just DO IT.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Lots of great advice and ideas on this thread. How about scheduling another appointment with your doctor? Your last one was an annual check-up, so why not go back in a month or so and compare your numbers? That way, you have that appointment as a goal and target, in addition to the other suggestions that have been given.0
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Oh, I completely agree that I am still morbidly obese.Theoldguy1 wrote: »Some good comments above
I'm going to tough love you a bit.
You met your goal regarding labs. That is great but to be brutally honest, it should be considered a short term goal. At 5'6" and 254 pounds you in the morbidly obese category on BMI. You; labs aren't going to stay good long term at that weight.
You said your daughter started crying when your prior health markers were discussed. I'm paraphrasing from someone else but, for a good, strong, motivator you need something that makes YOU cry. Picture yourself lying dead in a casket, in your hand a big container of cheese fries, maybe a bit of cheese sauce on your dead lips, while your wife and 12 year old daughter look at you in tears. Are the cheese sauce and fries still so damn good?
Be responsible and do what you know you have to do. Good luck.
Yeah, that is my worst fear - dying before I get to watch my daughter grow up.
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Ninerbuff - That is my major problem - the damn routine. A serious issue for me was McDonald's breakfast. Every morning I would get an Egg McMuffin meal with a large coffee. I completely cut out the caffeine because of the blood pressure and I replaced rest of the meal with one of those protein shakes and a can of V8 ( I know, the sodium) but I haven't set foot in a McDonalds (or drive-thru) since then because I have a routine in place.
I also have a routine in place for lunch. Lunch is a seriously big deal at my workplace. I knew that it would be the toughest hurdle for me to overcome. I did some reading and I found that raspberries were extremely good for you and would not send my blood sugar skyrocketing. So everyday for lunch I have 170g of raspberries, 170g of blackberries and 48 unshelled pistachios.
My main issue is dinner - I don't cook anything, like toast is stretching it, which isn't a big deal since the wife will make me whatever I just don't like healthy stuff. I literally ate like a f-ing 14 year old since I was 14. My go-to is great northern beans with ham.2 -
tulips_and_tea wrote: »Lots of great advice and ideas on this thread. How about scheduling another appointment with your doctor? Your last one was an annual check-up, so why not go back in a month or so and compare your numbers? That way, you have that appointment as a goal and target, in addition to the other suggestions that have been given.
You ready for the jacked up part? Since A1C is a 3 month snapshot and I have 4 month follow ups I figured that I was free to eat a little messed up for the first month since my appointment and that wouldn't factor into my A1C. Like that thought actually went through my head.
Yeah my next appointment is in the beginning of September.
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DiabetesDaddy wrote: »Ninerbuff - That is my major problem - the damn routine. A serious issue for me was McDonald's breakfast. Every morning I would get an Egg McMuffin meal with a large coffee. I completely cut out the caffeine because of the blood pressure and I replaced rest of the meal with one of those protein shakes and a can of V8 ( I know, the sodium) but I haven't set foot in a McDonalds (or drive-thru) since then because I have a routine in place.
I also have a routine in place for lunch. Lunch is a seriously big deal at my workplace. I knew that it would be the toughest hurdle for me to overcome. I did some reading and I found that raspberries were extremely good for you and would not send my blood sugar skyrocketing. So everyday for lunch I have 170g of raspberries, 170g of blackberries and 48 unshelled pistachios.
My main issue is dinner - I don't cook anything, like toast is stretching it, which isn't a big deal since the wife will make me whatever I just don't like healthy stuff. I literally ate like a f-ing 14 year old since I was 14. My go-to is great northern beans with ham.
You're getting it, then. Finding those new habits - routines, patterns, whatever we call them - is IMO key. Ideally pleasant ones, at least tolerable/practical. Sustainable.
Depending on what's in the great northern beans, those could be fine. (Lots of recipes use a boatload of brown sugar, etc.) Ham also tends to be high sodium, but there could be worse choices. Protein and beans (or some other veggies you like) within calories: That sounds really good.
Hang in there!2 -
DiabetesDaddy wrote: »
Oh, I completely agree that I am still morbidly obese.Theoldguy1 wrote: »Some good comments above
I'm going to tough love you a bit.
You met your goal regarding labs. That is great but to be brutally honest, it should be considered a short term goal. At 5'6" and 254 pounds you in the morbidly obese category on BMI. You; labs aren't going to stay good long term at that weight.
You said your daughter started crying when your prior health markers were discussed. I'm paraphrasing from someone else but, for a good, strong, motivator you need something that makes YOU cry. Picture yourself lying dead in a casket, in your hand a big container of cheese fries, maybe a bit of cheese sauce on your dead lips, while your wife and 12 year old daughter look at you in tears. Are the cheese sauce and fries still so damn good?
Be responsible and do what you know you have to do. Good luck.
Yeah, that is my worst fear - dying before I get to watch my daughter grow up.
Good, use that fear to push you to do what you know is needed.
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DiabetesDaddy wrote: »Ninerbuff - That is my major problem - the damn routine. A serious issue for me was McDonald's breakfast. Every morning I would get an Egg McMuffin meal with a large coffee. I completely cut out the caffeine because of the blood pressure and I replaced rest of the meal with one of those protein shakes and a can of V8 ( I know, the sodium) but I haven't set foot in a McDonalds (or drive-thru) since then because I have a routine in place.
I also have a routine in place for lunch. Lunch is a seriously big deal at my workplace. I knew that it would be the toughest hurdle for me to overcome. I did some reading and I found that raspberries were extremely good for you and would not send my blood sugar skyrocketing. So everyday for lunch I have 170g of raspberries, 170g of blackberries and 48 unshelled pistachios.
My main issue is dinner - I don't cook anything, like toast is stretching it, which isn't a big deal since the wife will make me whatever I just don't like healthy stuff. I literally ate like a f-ing 14 year old since I was 14. My go-to is great northern beans with ham.
Here’s some good news:
It will take time, but your tastes will change.
I used to love those Egg McMuffins.
Now, even if I could find a gluten free version? I probably would eat half or none.
They’re too greasy and heavy.
Taco Bell? Loved that stuff.
But after a few years of a low sodium diet I tried one taco and it tasted like a salt lick with cheese.
Hold fast. It will get easier. I promise.1 -
@DiabetesDaddy - i can hear the struggle in your original post and on-going discussion.
I kind of look at major overhauls of anything as a long project - think building a new tool and play station in the back yard... Won't happen in a day... plan, prepare, build some... stop/rest each day, do more tomorrow... repeat... Some days super tuff... pouring rain or hot hot... you adjust for those special days... but you keep recommitting every day to do what you can, for you, for your family.
This is like that. You are your project. Go for it! You clearly have a desire, or you would not have even posted, so look forward and hit it!3
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