Dr. Phil was Right!

For me, I've been hiding. I'm scared to lose weight because then I think I'll have a greater chance of having of being in a serious relationship. But after reading this I stopped and thought about things. I have skinny friends who can't find a boyfriend for anything, and I've known many overweight girls to get married. Weight has so little to do with it -- what was I thinking?
Naturally, I'll have to face this. But as long as I don't let it hold me back in all ways, I can stat to move forward again. It's a new day!

I know what you mean about hiding. I have been heavy and I have been thin, and I have also used my fat as a shield of armour. I am working on a blog explaining why it didn't work for me. I'm gonna post it soon if you are interested.

Its funny I can tell people how to eat, but then look at me like then WHY don't you do it! I have been soul searching for years to why I am fat. I think for me my dad and I never had a great relationship and he couldn't stand me being overweight. He never said nothing but he was a guy who loved to workout and until the day of his death he was a muscle bound guy. BUt I think the only way to get back at him was for me to be fat! GO FIGURE! How does that hurt him? IT DOESN'T!!!!! It hurts me! WOW I have always "thought" this but never put it down on paper! Its an eye opener for sure to see it written down. I think I may just go buy a journal this weekend and start writing in it!

Thanks!

I know Im rambling so I will stop!

Stormy, keep up the soul searching, when I get stuck sometimes it helps to get more information, so I read as much as I can. Writing it really helpful too, I was pleasantly surprised to see that other people feel like I do, or have been in my shoes, maybe this would help you too?

I read a book once by Robert Fulghum and it was called, "It was on fire when I layed down on it". It's available on Amazon. This book taught me that we make our choices from what we know. When we add to what we know, and might just make better choices!

Thanks for responding love, best of luck to you.

Lol at some of the comments. Y'all crack me up.

@judykay: Loved the insight into yourself...I really think that your recent progress is only the beginning. Quite the breakthrough. Congrats!

Not a huge fan of Dr P myself, though I did read that same book years ago & got a few useful takeaways. I remember something to the effect that healthy weight people maintain a lifestyle that supports a healthy weight, while overweight people maintain a lifestyle that supports being overweight. When I took an honest look at my own lifestyle that was absolutely true. I had a kitchen full of unhealthy, processed convenience foods & my day to day routine involved virtually no physical activity at all. When I changed that routine, the weirdest thing happened...I started losing weight. Who knew?

Kat, 72 lbs is very impressive plus a 5 k and and 10 k coming up! Holy moly! You did more than restock you kitchen! Thanks for the post!

Judy

I've always known food = love for me. I cook grand meals for those I love. I love when I get compliments on my food. It makes me feel loved, and I know they appreciate my love when they are grateful for my home cooked meals.

My idea of heaven is a long buffet of all my favorite foods prepared by people I love and I can eat as much as I want without ever getting full. I just enjoy the "love" forever.

[I have been thin most of my life, but started putting on the weight when my mom died 7 years ago. I've gained 30 lbs in 6 years. There is a correlation here.

I am exactly the same way! About every other month I throw a big dinner for my friends and all my neighbors! I love the preparation and all the love I put into it, and how much everyone appreciates a real home cooked meal. However, I realize that TRUE love would be to feed them food that is not only delicious but also good for them.

Mom+Food=Comfort still go together because I "mother" my friends and neighbors by making delicious healthy meals like roasted chicken, super fruit salads served in carved out melons with all kinds of exotic fruit, red roasted potatoes full of fresh herbs and spices and extra virgin olive oil. Salmon baked on cedar planks! Man, I'm making myself hungry!

I'm sorry that you lost your mom, and yeah, you probably are compensating for your loss by eating more. The question you should ask yourself, does overeating really make you feel better? Does it even put a dent in how you are feeling, or does it just postpone the bad feelings for a while?

For me, it just made me feel worse. I was trying to make myself feel better, but the end result was that I felt much much worse. Going for a walk, meditating, listening to music or pretty much any activity that gets your adrenaline flowing, makes me feel much better!! I'm so glad that I figured it out.