Can’t seem to even start

ForesterFit7 · September 6

Hi there, I want to say I’m new here but I’m not, I’ve just never managed to start!
I think about weight, food, weight loss much of the time but I just can’t seem to make any changes. Seem to sabotage even before I begin. I have managed one day of logging and that’s it.
Problems with weight gain began when my baby died suddenly back in 2018 and I seem to have some sort of mental block. I am aware of emotional eating but that is definitely the whole story as this has improved a lot. I have back and pelvic issues so exercise is complicated. I think I know what I should do with it though. Appreciate you’re not psychologists (although I secretly hope one might be lurking!) but has anyone experienced similar kind of block with just making a start or can offer any insight?

Thank you so much for reading!!

Adventurista · September 6

gosh, yes, words never expresses deepest sorrow, so imagine you notice some days are tuffest of tuff, some days are easier... i think of it a bit like riding the ocean waves... and important to recognize when we are feeling emotional...

So, living is different every day, but some things we do every day, like brush our teeth and hair...

For eating, what can you simply start doing that will help your body? Choose a piece of fruit for a snack or add some veggies to a meal? Start there, adding small things you enjoy, that will also be good for your body, when your body needs more food. Practice stopping at enough; not too much, not too little. That is when tracking can simply help as a tool to understand how much is simply enough.

Same with sleep, enough liquids, and strengthening motivation, embracing positive changes. Look for non-food things to help with non-food stuff. A comedy for laughs or a tear jerker when sad. A phonecall or meal with family or friend. Something fun out of the house....

Exercise - look for fun. Maybe a dance class like zumba or something comforting like yoga....

Be extra gentle with yourself - give yourself extra tlc and talk gently to yourself when you have a bad day. Check what happenned, make a strategy for next time/tomorrow, then set it aside and do what helps; rest, cry, laugh, live. Sleep, do more tomorrow...

Fwiw, this is my go to strategy. Much better emotionally than white knuckling with a fad/crash diet. We never have to eat food we don't like or do things that make us miserable. Exploring good food and good life strategies will help. As you figure out what works, explore more other things and hopefully you will find yourself started, up and going!

Oh, and connect here with other people who are doing this too. Funner together!

springlering62 · September 7

I was depressed over leaving a family business (I saw the train wreck coming but I was still the “child” at 50 🙄). As a result, my family shunned me for years- after a lifetime of living in one anothers’ pockets.

I did a number of things when I hit the wall of “something has to give” in weight, health, attitude, all aspects of life.

I began making small changes. I started with a super easy 2-page Elimination Diet my doctor provided. As doogy as it sounds, it listed what I could eat versus what I couldn’t. That made starting very easy. I had to find foods within those two pages that I would enjoy eating.

That meant eliminating (slowly) sugar. I started feeling better almost immediately.

My dietician referred me to MFP. I began learning the “cost” of calories versus exercise, versus all the treats I ate.

It was a constant exchange of habits and information- relearning everything.

As I lost, my mood, sense of joy in life improved drastically.

One of the nicest things anyone has said to me was a few days ago, on a group tour. She accused me of being “relentlessly positive”.

OMG what a change from many, many pounds ago.

Think of weight loss as mood medication with excellent side effects. Looking forward to that would help.

pawsrbabies239 · September 7

I’m so on board with your comment I’m here but I’m not here.😊 MFP very much like this app as it is an all in with counting steps & logging foods, not fan of being able to keep up with these feeds, example this one, which I like what you are saying.
Logging, I too will do really good, especially with my breakfast & lunch & snacks but not so good with evening meal. And very bad if I can’t scan it or it is a recipe. But I continue on because I guess my thoughts are I’m doing something which is a good thing.
Block, yep! My mind says do it! I look at the scale & see I’ve gained 42 pounds back of 85 I lost & the tears fall. The block remains!!! I’m not stronger than the block.
So my thoughts on trying to move forward is this: learning what is making me put on the pounds & it may not be sugar or a brownie or pasta per say. I’m monitoring what I eat, weighing in, looking at the diary of food & seeing I gained, ok, take that off my food list as it seems to make me gain. Am I making sense?

ninerbuff · September 7

Your loss is still very much affecting you. I would definitely find a professional to talk to about it.

As for dieting, just start with ONE thing. Maybe just not putting too much sugar in your coffee for instance or switching to an artificial sweetner. Then later maybe eating one egg for breakfast instead of two. These are just examples. Get used to one small habit and add on once you're comfortable adding another.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

csplatt · September 7

I agree with starting with ONE thing. Even if it’s just logging what you eat without trying to eat less.

ForesterFit7 · September 8

Thank you all for responding and offering advice. Loss of my little boy js definitely still affecting me and I think it always will but I need to find some way back to health. Starting with one thing just hasn’t felt enough but maybe that’s where I need to go.
Today I am going to log my intake (whatever it is) and aim to drink more water!!

springlering62 · September 8

Several quick takes. Your little boy, whom you loved with all your heart. Would he wish grief and sorrow for you? I don’t pretend to understand or have any concept of your loss, but find a way to invest him with joy as much as sorrow? That is poorly explained and offered, but can you find a way turn at least part of the narrative around?

Logging dinners. We usually have a pretty small rotation of meals. It’s not that much trouble to log them, either as recipes or as simply “food” because we eat them so regularly, they pop right back up again as soon as we key the first few letters. (“we” being husband and I, both on MFP.

Right now we’re traveling and the food is utterly and completely unfamiliar, very rich, low protein, and very high fat (lots of homemade sheep and goat cheeses in particular). Opposite if how I’ve been eating the past few years. Surprisingly, it’s been pretty easy to log. It may not be perfect and some of it’s simply a guess, but it’s there in black and white and I’m moderately confident with the numbers (if not entirely, uh, happy with them, but it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to try many of these foods.)

Lietchi · September 8

An app that I have found helpful in creating (self-care) habits is Finch. You have a little bird companion that discovers the world and grows up as you reach goals. The goals can be anything really: recurring goals or simple ones.

For example: one of my recurring ones is to not have a morning snack because that often triggers overeating. Another is closing my computer at the end of the week (I tend to open a ridiculous number of browser tabs, e-mails, documents etc). I also have myself a goal of stopping work at a certain hour (overworking > less time for exercise and higher stress level). And even one for brushing my teeth (if I'm tired in the evening, I tend to want to skip it).
One-time goals also get added if I think I will procrastinate.

You don't need to have many goals from the start, the app helps you build gradually.
It also has some tools for coping with anxiety, grief, etc. Breathing exercises, stretches, quizzes, grounding exercises...

It has some paying features, but most of it is free (I've only used the free version).

Adventurista · September 8

booper28 wrote: »

Thank you all for responding and offering advice. Loss of my little boy js definitely still affecting me and I think it always will but I need to find some way back to health. Starting with one thing just hasn’t felt enough but maybe that’s where I need to go.
Today I am going to log my intake (whatever it is) and aim to drink more water!!

Hope the tracking went well! And slurp to the water! Good on you!

Regarding enough... i hear you. When i am trying to get going again, it can feel completely overwhelming... especially thinking about the ultimate end goals... but that is what feels like too much...

My answer to this in me is to ask... what can i do just today, even if it is only 1, 2 or a few things...

Anything we do is always ok, and a lot of the time, doing something is better than nothing...

as you keep getting up and doing, sometime you might spontaneously start to feel a spring in your step or a smile... look for moments that bring smiles... sunshine, flowers, rainbows, funny shows, {{{hugs}}}

Hobartlemagne · September 9

One way I stay true to correct eating is to plan everything well ahead. Due to weird scheduling, our family can cook meals but usually not right before an actual meal time.
I'll typically cook a meal that yields 4 or 6 servings, and immediately portion it out into leftovers boxes. My wife and I always pack lunches when we go to work, so we bring one of our pre-measured meals.
I try to ignore hunger, and eat entirely based on the clock. I'm an early riser, and am typically up at 5am but I absolutely never touch breakfast until 6am. As with lunch- I wont start until noon EXACTLY. Not a minute sooner.
Evenings I do a little differently- I try to delay if possible. Ill go to our city rec renter at about 6pm and run on an elliptical machine for 30 to 45min. When I'm back home I'll finally have dinner.
If I'm short on my calorie total, I'll have a protein drink just before bedtime to help me sleep without hunger. I keep my meal calories at 500 or under and have a daily budget of 1500. I do set exercise tracking so I can earn extra calories. Im 50M, medium build, highest weight 196. Im 175 today, and I think I'll reduce to 165 before I return to weightlifting.

My short answer summry- plan all meals/eating ahead of time so the easiest food choice is also the best food choice

Can’t seem to even start

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