Feeling hopeless

I feel really hopeless, I need to lose weight, but it seems so impossible. My blood pressure has been extremely high and I know that this is something I need to take care of. This is really motivated me to get better shape as I don’t want to end up with heart disease or something more serious. But I have two kids, and I also own my own business. I’m already stressed and super busy.

I really want to make meaningful changes, but it seems so hard. I need to eat less processed food, but I don’t have any time to cook

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    The only way you'll ever make this work is to start telling yourself ways you CAN make it work instead of listing all the excuses of why you can't.

    We all have challenges to overcome.

    You don't have to spend more than 15 minutes preparing good whole food meals.

    You can do hard things.
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 1,365 Member
    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I think we often think that "meaningful change" means overhauling everything all at once. It's trite, but often true.

    I don't especially like cooking, so it's easy for me to get off track and start relying on takeout and "instant" meals like a protein shake and a piece of fruit. When that happens I start with just adding a vegetable to every meal whether it's a side salad from the restaurant or adding (frozen) spinach to my (jarred) pasta sauce over (pre-cooked) pasta.

    Most staples can be purchased frozen and heated up as necessary. A bag of basic frozen vegetables (no sauce/seasoning) can round out most meals. Frozen pre-cooked chicken strips or dices make a quick protein. Rice and pasta both come in microwavable pre-cooked bags. Bagged salad mixes require nothing more than a bowl and some tongs to toss it all together with. I know it feels like "eating healthy" requires hours and days of planning and counting and shopping and peeling and chopping and cooking, but there are a lot of shortcuts out there.

    Once you have a handle on that, find another small change to work on. Maybe walk for 10 minutes sometime during the day. Practice logging food every day--good or bad. Things like that. At the end of a few months, the meaningful changes will come.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,206 Member
    edited September 12
    Is there one day you can cook (like Sunday afternoons) then portion it into tupperwares for the week? Here’s what I mean:

    1. shred a bunch of chicken breast in the slow cooker on sunday
    2. make some rice on sunday
    3. portion (weigh / measure) some into tupperwares. the the day you want to eat it, add a veggie you can make quickly.
    4. with the rest of it, have a chicken taco night (easy to measure a tortilla, beans, lettuce, salsa)

    that could get you several dinner days just on that!
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,261 Member
    edited September 12
    Yeah, high blood pressure is one of the first antagonists for blood vessel damage and when you add a lot of carby processed food it increases glycation, which is pretty devastating especially when someone is over eating so basically not what you want to continue going fwd. Personally I would suggest you talk with your Doctor about controlling your high blood pressure immediately and maybe get a recommendation for a dietitian to address your eating situation. Change is difficult, people don't like it but your situation will not end well for you or your kids, especially if they're eating what you are. imo :)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    cantusavis wrote: »
    I feel really hopeless, I need to lose weight, but it seems so impossible. My blood pressure has been extremely high and I know that this is something I need to take care of. This is really motivated me to get better shape as I don’t want to end up with heart disease or something more serious. But I have two kids, and I also own my own business. I’m already stressed and super busy.

    I really want to make meaningful changes, but it seems so hard. I need to eat less processed food, but I don’t have any time to cook
    Health isn't really a thing you get a second chance at many times if you end up getting ill or getting onset disease. I had to evaluate my life in my late 20's after working for a company the literally insisted that money was everything and that was how you gauged your status.
    While I was quite successful with them, I eventually left because I felt I wasn't being who I wanted to. I took a lower paying job at the time and embarked on my true passion which was being in the Fitness industry. Eventually part timing it for years, I went to full time and loved every minute, got into my best shape and have maintained most of it till now in my 60's.
    There ARE ways to meet whatever needs you have. YOU MUST take an hour for you everyday regardless of the stresses of life. Balance is everything. As for food, there are great options to have good food delivered daily that isn't so processed albeit maybe costly. But there are decisions you have to make of importance that you feel need addressing. I hope you find the right resolve.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition


  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 1,559 Member
    edited September 12
    What do you/we have control over? Think about it.

    When I was heavy, bagels weren’t forcing themselves on me.. I choose them, I chose to eat too much- because it felt good and easy in the moment. I have always had a lot of work and family responsibility and I was choosing myself last. I had to respect my body better.

    You are in complete control of what you put in your mouth. Empower yourself to make choices that will make you feel good.

    Stress, family, busy are reality - they can also be excuses. Decide you have the power of choice and do it, identify what you need to change to make yourself healthier and happier. The difference between those who succeed and don’t.. is the decision and discipline to put a plan into action and stick with it.

    Re hopelessness… do one step at a time so it doesn’t seem overwhelming.

    You are busy so you can’t cook… buy items that work for lowering blood pressure like low salt…
    - A loaf of bread and some low salt deli turkey and low salt cheese. Boom. Dinner.

    -Pre packaged salad kit. Watch the dressing 💥 dinner.

    - meal kits - lots of vendors out there. Choose ones for your dietary needs. Prepackaged, no chefs needed.

    Decide you are important enough to make the change. -/ reframe—Powerful enough to have a business and a family.. that’s not a person who can’t have control over impulses and their life choices. Reframe.

  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,662 Member
    edited September 13
    Can you make simple changes?

    We workout til 6:30 a couple nights a week, so I have to have fast dinners on the table ASAP for my diabetic husband.

    Throw some meat and veg and seasonings in the crockpot before you leave in the morning. Pork loin with Dijon and apple sauce. A pot roast with a quarter onion, baby carrots and some sliced potatoes. Maybe a squirt of tomato paste. (The tube kind is amazing! You can control the amount and not have to worry about wasting 3/4 can). Season as desired.

    I often take a taco kit, throw a frozen chicken breast in the pot, pour the taco seasoning and salsa on top, and set it on low. By the time I get home, easily shredded and on the table in the five minutes it takes to heat the shells. I can have four tacos, 7-8 oz chicken, shredded lettuce and chopped tomatoes for about 500 calories. And the kids would love it.

    Stick some flatbreads in the freezer. Pull out as many as you need, brush with concentrated tomatoe paste, sprinkle pizza herbs (I like the Victoria Taylor pizza mix), and throw on any meats or vegetables you want. Or try feta and tomatoes for a change. Broil for a couple minutes. Let the kids design their own pizza for added happiness.

    I keep a tub of spring greens in the fridge at all times. A handful of greens and an ounce or two sliced cherry tomatoes and voila! Instant, filling side salad in less than a minute.

    Put your business head to work. You make changes to keep your business afloat, the kids in the right place at the right time, right? Think of your health the same way.

    I was exactly you, twenty years ago. I let myself go because I felt so out of control. I wish, wish, wish I could turn back the clock and show myself greater kindness, and less of “omg is this all there is and more of same tomorrow?” It just sucks the joy right outta ya.
  • LoganBennett715
    LoganBennett715 Posts: 61 Member
    I am new here, but I suggest making small changes in your daily routine. It helped me a lot. Also, first, you will lose weight quickly, later it will be slow but don't lose hope and continue your journey. I just started with replacing my full-fledged dinner with different types of Salad.
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,085 Member
    So I had a blood pressure scare a couple years ago. Went in to donate plasma, and was told I couldn't because my bp was too high. I asked what "too high" was - and about fell out of the chair when she told me.
    Bought a blood pressure cuff and started monitoring it, and started some small but very impactful lifestyle changes.
    1. Started a daily "Power List." Each morning I'd fill out 5 tasks for that day. A key thing was those tasks needed to help my nudge the needle on a bigger goal. These were "touches" - not huge lifts. Just a "touch." If I completed all my tasks - no matter how everything else that day went, I "WIN" that day. It seems like a small thing, but getting a "win" in my pocket more often than not, even when it felt like things weren't really changing, had a HUGE impact. Pro tip - things are actually changing :)
    2. Started taking a daily high quality Omega 3. Proven to have serious impacts on blood pressure.
    3. Small changes were part of my power list each day - so maybe "cook a whole foods dinner" and "go for a 15 minute walk"
    4. Got a FitBit to motivate me with little things like steps and getting enough sleep

    Happy to report that it worked - my blood pressure is back to normal and stable there, all without meds, and no major dramatic sweeping changes that completely upset my life. Just some little wins, every single day, and that stuff adds up - a lot.

    For my Power List, I divide my tasks into categories, and have 1-2 tasks per category for a maximum of 5 tasks. If I have a running "to-do" list of just stuff I need to do, one of my PL items may be to complete an item off the to-do list - but I can "win" that day without having to do the entire to-do list ;)
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    Here’s a couple things that “saved my life”, or rather, made it feel much easier to stick to my calorie deficit.

    1. Don’t allow yourself to get hungry. Often people restrict too much (whether it be types of food or when they eat) and end up either binging or giving up on their diet quickly. Be proactive about hunger so you don’t lose control.

    2. Figure out how you need to divide your calories throughout the day. This is different for everyone. Some people prefer to have 1 larger meal in the morning, 2 snacks, and 2 smaller meals in the afternoon/evening. Others use IF. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as it keeps you on your calorie target, makes you feel energized, and you can maintain that schedule as a lifestyle.

    3. Pre plan your meals. When I started I ate a lot of the same things until I was ready to learn more options. It took the guess work out of what to eat, when, and I liked the security. Dieting is as much mental as it is physical. I don’t cook, but it’s not an excuse. Pre plan and find meals that work for you, or prep one day a week. You need to figure out a system.

    4. Track your calories and your weight trend. Weight fluctuates due to food in your system, bloat, hormone fluctuations, etc. If you track your calories and follow your weight trend, it will trend down to your goal. Treat this as a data sheet, expect fluctuations, and stick to the plan.

    5. Finally, don’t pick an aggressive weight loss goal. Losing more than a lb a week can be brutal. Who wants to be on a 1000 calorie deficit everyday? No thank you. Eat food you love in your calorie goal and be consistent. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and the goal is to get there as seamless as possible.
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