Losing weight after a break-up

Hi all,

This is actually my second time around. I started last year and managed to lose almost 20lbs, then I got sidetracked. I'm not a teenager, but this was my very first boyfriend, unfortunately things ended almost as quickly as they started. I'm up ten pounds again and want to lose weight. I keep holding myself back, but I want to see myself at my best by next summer. I've got about 40lbs to go, and if it takes a year, then that's fine, I just want to keep on going.

I want to forget the past and focus on what I can accomplish this year.

I guess I just want to know, how do you keep focused after a breakup when all you want to do is think about the other person (and how they're probably doing better off)?

Honey I think everyone has been through this and worse, some eat more after a relationship ends and some can't eat at all, the reaction is individual. The one thing that happens with age and experience is that although you are sad when something ends you always know you will be fine, and that you will meet someone else. I think there are two things to do here that always make me feel better; the first is to find your happy self by yourself, you need to be totally happy on your own, know who you are and what you want, be grateful for what you have and visualise all the wondrous things ahead, love yourself and the world will love you. Secondly, thinking about how great they are doing is self destructive, you thinking about him is on the one hand natural of course but also you are giving him time where he doesn't deserve it! Don't waste your time on thinking about his stuff, because it's his to think about. He probably isn't doing that great anyway. But he is off merrily leading his life while you think about him, so don't do that one honey. The best form of oneupmanship or revenge is success!!!! Instead of putting your energy into him still put it into your self and get excited about the new man you will meet, who will be so much more handsome and so much more thoughtful and caring than the last.

Good Luck my sweet xx