fat and alone

You just got to find the right guy, honey. Some of them dig chubby chicks.

Ditto.

You're not alone

The only love you need in your life is love for yourself. After that everything else gets a little easier because you think you deserve a relationship, a healthy lifestyle, and anything else you may need for fulfillment in life. It took me a long time to realize that self-confidence doesn't just come from weight loss either. I went to therapy, but everyone has their own path. Instead of concentrating on what's missing maybe you should try concentrating on what you do have makes you so wonderfully you.

Maybe the advice I was given will help you. I have tried to lose weight MANY of times! Could lose some here and there. Never got to where I thought I would like to be. Losing weight alone may not help with confidence. Many people still see themselves the same after weightloss. Surround yourself around positive people. Learn to love yourself NOW! You are a beautiful person. For me I could not believe those words about me. I had to search for the good. I had to fix the things I needed to make me happy with the person I am. I am going to be the same person when I reach goal. The goal was not going to change me. But now that I have learn to accept who I am, not worry about what others think about me (some people will not accept me thin either so I gotta learn its not about what others think), and put things where I am comfortable NOW I am ready to take this journey to lose weight...not for my mom, my kids, a man, society, for better looks, but because I want to improve ME. Good luck on your journey. Add me if you wish. I have a LONG way to go. This time I have the confidence, determination, and support I need to make it. I can be a shoulder to cry on, a cheer team for success, a motivation speaker when one needs a push.

I know many people who are skinny and alone. As well a rich and alone. It's more about YOU the person.

This really is THE truth. When you love yourself and stop worrying about what people say about you and brim with confidence life becomes so much easier and people will want to spend time with you. Also make sure you are doing things to meet a variety of men, sometimes it is just you are hiding yourself away and not giving yourself the chance to meet men.

What is the old saying..."you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself". It is VERY true. To love yourself does not mean you have to be conceited, selfish, arrogant either. I THOUGHT that was what it meant to love yourself. I by NO MEANS wanted to be ANYTHING like that!!! I learned that if far from the truth. There is a HUGE difference between confidence and conceit!

u need to gain some confidence! tons of guys like bigger women. lose weight for health and ur own happiness, but as for dating go ahead ad get out there u will meet someone amazing!

It's a lot about confidence. I married when I was very young and we ahve been together 35 years and got obese together. But I have one heavy friend 220+ and she has always got a guy. Sometimes even younger ones. I would rather you be alone than with someone just to have a man. You can be very lonely in a relationship, which is why I think she goes through so many men. Right time, right place, right man will happen when you put yourself out there and show people. not just men, that you are fun and cheerful and intelligent and great company. Nobody can get with you if you stay at home in your room and eat, watch tV or play the computer. My daughter is going through the dame thing. She wants to get married but she comes home from work and hides in her room and eats fast food. Same on the week-ends. I think exercise and losing even a little weight will increase your self esteem and that is when changes will start occuring. Just my opinion. I am not a counselor, just an MFP freind with some life experience.

Trust me, losing the weight won't suddenly make your world a better place. You have to find the happiness within. Once you do, someone will notice that. I know lots of thin people who are quite unhappy and haven't had a date in years. It is their personality. Don't use fat as an excuse why no one is dating you. What happens once you lose the weight and still no one is asking you out? What is the problem there?

I have been going to therapy and other things to get a much brighter look on life because it took me far too long to realize it really was my depression and self-pity attitude that turned people off.

This is my first day here, My chiropractor told me about this website. I just joined today!

Hello there,
My name is Reesie. I just joined the site and I happened to see your post. I know what you mean about lack of confidence. I do know one thing, if you want something bad enough, you will work to get it. If it's a date, you will have to work for it and make yourself available to meeting somebody. Not all guys are turned off by fat women but it would help to be in shape and take care of yourself.
You are here and I hope that you use these tools to get yourself going down the road to success. What a beautiful journey it can be as you start hitting your goals and you start feeling good about yourself too!!
Good luck to you. I hope you get what you are looking for dear.

totally agree. I'm married and my husband always tells me..."you are so beautiful honey...blah blah mushy mushy" even though he says it i don't feel it and i'm embarrassed for him when we go out in public because he's this muscular skinny thing and i'm this fat water balloon lol...but it doesn't matter to him he still married me anyway

You really just need to focus on yourself, improving things in your own life. Once you do that all that external stuff just falls into place. I remember in high school I didn't go to either of my proms nor any of the dances because I was petrified with talking to any girls, and it was because I embarrassed with how fat I was.

Do it for yourself, not anyone else.