I'm depressed. I'm having doubts again.

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Replies

  • I agree with others who say u should do it for yourself, but I find it sweet that u are trying to better yourself for someone else. Have u ever thought maybe sitting her down and telling her these things will probably bring get around. I think if a man told me he liked me and he was trying to better himself, and I was part of the reason I would fall in love right then and there. Good luck.
  • TrishJimenez
    TrishJimenez Posts: 561 Member
    I agree with others who say u should do it for yourself, but I find it sweet that u are trying to better yourself for someone else. Have u ever thought maybe sitting her down and telling her these things will probably bring get around. I think if a man told me he liked me and he was trying to better himself, and I was part of the reason I would fall in love right then and there. Good luck.

    I am sorry, I dont agree with you. Even though it sounds romantic it is a little codependent when you love someone because they need you and that person needs you to love them to be able to get thru life. And I am speaking as someone who has been thru several codependent relationships before I broke the cycle. That is why it is so important to reach down inside yourself and find the motivation to do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Because what happens to your motivation if that person that you are basing all your motivation and decisions on stops giving you that feed back that you need to keep going every day? Resentment and depression sets in then comes anger and blame and well you get the picture. And the other person. The one who fell in love with you because you motivated them to better themselves. What if you have a bad day, or a bad week or even a bad few months where you fall off the wagon for any reason. Will they stop loving you because they are no longer your motivation to better yourself? It is really late and I am really tired so maybe my examples are to simplistic or even make no sense and I am sure my spelling and grammar sucks. And I guess it is also none of my business. But I just read that post and felt a strong urge to speak out. Stepping down off my soap box now.
  • apee24
    apee24 Posts: 46
    Just to put in my 2 cents here, I have been bipolar since the age of 14. I am now soon to be 38. I have to say that one of the biggest things I have learned in my lifetime is that you have to strive for your own happiness. Only you can do it. Also, maybe the person that you are looking toward is not the person for you. I truly believe that every person has the right person out there somewhere. I know that it is very hard to be positive when you have things going on in your life, but things will look up. They always do. You can meet your goal!!!!
  • Continue to focus on your workouts (even home workouts) and eating better and the weight will start coming off. I just lost ten pounds in ten days! She will notice, and either she will give you more attention...or she won't. Even if she doesn't, I am telling you right now that you will start feeling so much better about yourself that others will notice, and your self esteem will start going up. That is a promise.
    Even sexier than that first bit of weight loss is the improved confidence and ambition. ;)
  • Nette_54
    Nette_54 Posts: 265 Member
    As everyone has said do it for yourself so you can have a better life, if you are positive it will rub off on people so you will get a job and people will enjoy a happier you. I can tell you from experience trying to lose weight so you can win someone's affection just doesn't work at all. Do it to make yourself happier and for those who already love and care about you. To be brutally honest if this girl doesn't care for you if you are over weight then she isn't someone you want in your life as she must be a shallow person with an ego to boot. IF and I mean IF you still find you cannot do it for yourself then get annoyed................... do it so when she thinks you are hot you can say thanks and walk away............... I must admit that hasn't worked for me............ I wanted my ex to see what he is missing when I lose my weight but I haven't succeeded so now I am doing it for me and the love of my daughters who want me to hang around a weeee bit longer lol good luck with you weight loss journey and remember if you take a step back then you get up tomorrow to a fresh day and start all over again DON'T GIVE IN
  • I agree with others who say u should do it for yourself, but I find it sweet that u are trying to better yourself for someone else. Have u ever thought maybe sitting her down and telling her these things will probably bring get around. I think if a man told me he liked me and he was trying to better himself, and I was part of the reason I would fall in love right then and there. Good luck.

    I am sorry, I dont agree with you. Even though it sounds romantic it is a little codependent when you love someone because they need you and that person needs you to love them to be able to get thru life. And I am speaking as someone who has been thru several codependent relationships before I broke the cycle. That is why it is so important to reach down inside yourself and find the motivation to do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Because what happens to your motivation if that person that you are basing all your motivation and decisions on stops giving you that feed back that you need to keep going every day? Resentment and depression sets in then comes anger and blame and well you get the picture. And the other person. The one who fell in love with you because you motivated them to better themselves. What if you have a bad day, or a bad week or even a bad few months where you fall off the wagon for any reason. Will they stop loving you because they are no longer your motivation to better yourself? It is really late and I am really tired so maybe my examples are to simplistic or even make no sense and I am sure my spelling and grammar sucks. And I guess it is also none of my business. But I just read that post and felt a strong urge to speak out. Stepping down off my soap box now.
  • I believe I stated at the beginning that I agree that he should do it for himself. And please do not be sorry for not agreeing with me, if I needed people in the world to agree with me I would be a sad person lol. But when I said at the end fall in love right then and there I was maybe a little to literal. All I am saying is as a person u have to live a little in my opinion and put yourself out there. Sometimes failing in one area is great motivation in another, meaning if he was to say something to her, the worst she can say is no, the word has never killed anyone as far as I know. And then if that happens, well u keep pushing.
  • The most important person to do this for is you. Do not do it for anyone else. She will find you once you find yourself. You can not love someone when you do not love yourself.

    I have worked hard on me, and I continue to do so everyday. I found me, love me, and viola ~ the man of my dreams just happens to be available.

    The same with your job situation. If you do not think your are worthy, how can an employer think you are?

    Change your thought process. You are here for a reason, figure out what that is by trusting that you can do WHATEVER you set your mind to. Start with the job, and you, I promise the rest will fall inline.
  • jenna198500
    jenna198500 Posts: 4 Member
    Steven. Your doing so well. Try not to think about past failed attmpts and think about how well we could possibly do. If u struggle, thats wat im here for. And when i struggle i need i there for me. So far u seem to be cruisin thru all of your efforts so keep up the good work. Plus i kno that the girl is ur main inspiration but these people are right. U gotta do it for u. If u get the girl thats a bonus :-)
  • maserati185
    maserati185 Posts: 263 Member
    I am prone to falling into depression and self-doubt...and lack of confidence. It is something that has to be fought. All "the reasons" you give yourself for being unable to accomplish your goals are probably not good reasons at all - I say that lovingly. We can tell ourselves we're not good enough, strong enough, likable enough. Well, you are and you can. Create your own destiny my friend and don't let the decision be made by others - others will frequently tell you it isn't possible due to their own hang ups. You've got this!
  • Givemewings
    Givemewings Posts: 864 Member
    Don't lose hope. Start on the journey for yourself and nobody else. As you get fitter you will become more confident and confidence in itself is very attractive! Don't give up, you will feel amazing once you start to get fitter! Good luck!
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