she keeps making desserts....

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bitterbrownie
bitterbrownie Posts: 369
in Health and Weight Loss
as much as i love my mother, and as much as i love a good homemade dessert, it does kind of ruin my diet!

my mum often makes desserts at the weekend (sometimes during the week) but doesn't tell me in advance because she doesn't know, or doesn't know what she'll make, and no, they aren't diet friendly. SHe also makes them for the full servings so for about 4-8 people when we are a family of 3! We don't eat it all in one go, but it does mean there is more of a chance of me having more than a normal serving :/

sometimes i politely decline and have my own healthier dessert but i feel guilty when she's gone to the effort of making it and after all, it is dessert!

any tips?

Replies

  • sgoldman328
    sgoldman328 Posts: 379 Member
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    You can always store up exercise calories? If I know I'm going to have a splurge I try to work out.

    Also, perhaps you'll feel more in control of the dessert if you know how many calories you're eating. Use the recipe feature and try to figure out exactly what she put in the dessert. Maybe cut yourself a much smaller portion that's only 100-150 calories. Then you'll satisfy your sweet tooth, show her that you appreciate it, and stay within your diet goals.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    Maybe you could make a healthier dessert for the family before she gets a chance to make something else. Or just keep politely declining ("Oh, thanks mom, it looks delicious, but I had a big piece of cake last week and am really trying to stick to my eating plan right now").
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    maybe you could find some recipes for low cal desserts, and say you would love to try one of them, and see if she will make it - you wouldnt even have to say it was low cal!
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
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    Ok, I'm 32 years old now (not sure how old you are) but when I was in college I stopped eating my mom's very tasty Egyptian food that had beef in it, until she started using ground turkey. Yes she was offended that I wouldn't eat it, but she learned to make it differently (more healthy) if she did want me to eat it. As long as I kept eating it with beef, she was going to make it.

    It's a little passive-aggressive, but what she's doing is the same, by inadvertently sabotaging your nutrition choices. I would just stop eating it until it becomes more healthy. Or just eat very small amounts of it that meet your calorie intake. Or make your own healthy desserts.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    Instead of being passive aggressive, just be honest.....
  • bitterbrownie
    bitterbrownie Posts: 369
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    Ok, I'm 32 years old now (not sure how old you are) but when I was in college I stopped eating my mom's very tasty Egyptian food that had beef in it, until she started using ground turkey. Yes she was offended that I wouldn't eat it, but she learned to make it differently (more healthy) if she did want me to eat it. As long as I kept eating it with beef, she was going to make it.

    It's a little passive-aggressive, but what she's doing is the same, by inadvertently sabotaging your nutrition choices. I would just stop eating it until it becomes more healthy. Or just eat very small amounts of it that meet your calorie intake. Or make your own healthy desserts.

    thanks for all the tips so far!

    i tried this in a way....but she just keeps making them regardless. She enjoys desserts so she makes them and doesn't really care whether I have any or not...she'll make desserts I suggest but i never know when she wants to make one and she often just brings one to the table for example and won't even remember the recipe! i guess i won't have the ones without nutritional info and have small servings of the ones that do. She knows i watch my eating but again, she just ignores it :(
  • MissLose50
    MissLose50 Posts: 10
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    I go through the same thing!

    What I usually do is have a very small portion of whatever she makes, and work out a little extra that week. That way I get to taste her delicious dessert, She doesn't feel offended, and I work out a little extra so I know I burn it off. :)

    Hope this helps. :D
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    i really dont get everybodys guilt. Does she know you aretrying to lose weight? Then its her problem, not yours if she makes dessert. And honestly unless shes making chocolate from cacao beans in the kitchen, dessert every week is obviously not hard for her. Just say no thanks and leave it alone
  • MissLose50
    MissLose50 Posts: 10
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    My guilt comes from the fact that this is my boyfriends mother and not my real mother. And I'm currently unemployed and looking for work, and she's letting me live here for free while I'm looking. So I feel like it would be disrespectful of me to turn down her hard work in the kitchen :P. I'm probably just too worried about offending lol.

    (Sorry, not meant to hijack or change topic)
  • Itsallbs15
    Itsallbs15 Posts: 262 Member
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    Be honest with her and make a vegan dessert. I am not vegan by any means however my family loves desserts and the best way to make them happy and stay within my diet I make vegan desserts. They taste just as good but with less calories.
  • Randynorthridge
    Randynorthridge Posts: 37
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    Please take this with a grain of salt because I’m not looking to upset anyone. Here is my take on your subject:

    She has every right to cook whatever she wants in her own home. Is she making the desserts to sabotage your weight goals? Maybe she is or maybe she’s not. The bottom line is that she isn’t forcing the desserts down your throat. You are the one that makes the decision of what you eat or how much you eat. As I see it you can handle it in two ways. Either you eat a bite or two or you say no thank you and you move on!

    We all go to meetings, parties, etc. where there is going to be foods that we love to eat and we’re trying to stay clear of. It’s our responsibility to come to an understanding of how we’re going to handle that situation when it comes up and I know it’s not easy.

    Listen to the suggestions you get and come up with a plan of attack and follow through on it. Just remember you’re a guest in someone’s home and you’re responsible for what you eat.

    You absolutely should not be eating something you don’t want to. Also, please don’t use, “I have to eat some because I feel guilty” as an excuse to eat.

    Good luck and I hope you can resolve your problem. :flowerforyou:
  • monetsf
    monetsf Posts: 14 Member
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    I can't agree more with you! You have to own what YOU decide to eat. There's nothing wrong with having a small portion. Granted it can be hard to resist and not helpful when you are starting out, so as she is your mom be honest with her. Tell her that right now you are a bit weaker and need some help; the form of help can be to cut back on the baking till you have built up a higher resistance.
  • monetsf
    monetsf Posts: 14 Member
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    Please take this with a grain of salt because I’m not looking to upset anyone. Here is my take on your subject:

    She has every right to cook whatever she wants in her own home. Is she making the desserts to sabotage your weight goals? Maybe she is or maybe she’s not. The bottom line is that she isn’t forcing the desserts down your throat. You are the one that makes the decision of what you eat or how much you eat. As I see it you can handle it in two ways. Either you eat a bite or two or you say no thank you and you move on!

    We all go to meetings, parties, etc. where there is going to be foods that we love to eat and we’re trying to stay clear of. It’s our responsibility to come to an understanding of how we’re going to handle that situation when it comes up and I know it’s not easy.

    Listen to the suggestions you get and come up with a plan of attack and follow through on it. Just remember you’re a guest in someone’s home and you’re responsible for what you eat.

    You absolutely should not be eating something you don’t want to. Also, please don’t use, “I have to eat some because I feel guilty” as an excuse to eat.

    Good luck and I hope you can resolve your problem. :flowerforyou:

    I can't agree more with you! You have to own what YOU decide to eat. There's nothing wrong with having a small portion. Granted it can be hard to resist and not helpful when you are starting out, so as she is your mom be honest with her. Tell her that right now you are a bit weaker and need some help; the form of help can be to cut back on the baking till you have built up a higher resistance.
  • JamesonsMommy
    JamesonsMommy Posts: 771 Member
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    ask her if she would mind making a healthier desert :) Since there are 3 of you someone can pick a new one every week :)
  • hewhoiscd
    hewhoiscd Posts: 1,029 Member
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    Portion control is king. Have a very small taste, a couple small forkfuls perhaps...and that's it. That way you can praise her cooking prowess while still doing what you need to do to reach your goals.

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