Unsupportive of weight loss. Your stories....?

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stuffinmuffin
stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I recently had a bit of a moan to my MFP friends about a couple of reactions I've had following my weight-loss and was interested to find they had similar experiences....

A little about me...I started this at nearly 10 stone in weight (bulky for my petit 5'3" frame) and have now finally after nearly six months at my target of around 8 stone, a weight I was in my early 20's (I am now 29). I gave up smoking in January and it prompted me to investigate improving my diet and exercise and I am now probably the healthiest I have been in over a decade. HOWEVER:

I got a bit upset recently when a friend told me I was losing too much weight, and then there's a colleague at work who I feel treats me like I have an eating disorder and is now on some mission to feed me. Tutting every time I decline cake/chocolate which she has every day (I genuinely don't have a sweet tooth) and rolling her eyes when I choose a light/healthy meal eating out or choose to go home to eat dinner before going out for drinks. I really like the woman and I'm a bit taken aback because for the last six months she's sat next to me whilst I eat breakfast and lunch in the office....and I'm not a salad leaf person, it's either two rounds of sandwiches or a pasta concoction and I have oats for breakfast, hardly menial food. Tomorrow she has decided to 'feed' me butter chicken....and I'm reaching the end of my tether.

Anyway the point of this post was because on explaining this to my MFP friends they also had some interesting stories on how people around them are also not always supportive of their weight loss and can actually be quite horrible. I was wondering what experiences other people have had and how they dealt with it?

I've been a fairly chunky monkey over the few years and now I'm happy with my shape, some people have decided to tell me they're not and to be honest, never doing weight loss before, this is new territory to me, especially as no-one told me I'd put 2 stone on in the first place! ; )

Replies

  • dibdobw
    dibdobw Posts: 89 Member
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    One word sums these people up "JEALOUS"! Ignore their attempts to fatten you up, they just dont like the fact that you are slim and and healthy. Ive still got a way to go to get to my target but already people are say "ooh, you dont want to get that low, youll bee too thin!" Really??? Isnt that for me and my GP to decide?

    Keep at it, the benefits are huge and well done!!!!!
  • TexasNurseMom78
    TexasNurseMom78 Posts: 897 Member
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    I just tend to take those kind of comments as a sign of jealousy. I have lost 85 pounds and people are telling me I look good lke I am and I dont need to lose more. Trust me, I am far from wasting away people. A good friend told me this the other day and it gave me perspective " Skinny people like fat people around because it makes then feel skinnier and fat people like fat peole around becasue it makes them feel like they re not alone". So just keep doing what you are doing for yourself and forget what everyone else says about it.
  • colgosling
    colgosling Posts: 104 Member
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    I think she is jealous too! She should respect your decision to improve your health and lost weight and if she was any kind of friend she would be supportive of this and not trying to 'feed' you! Maybe have a little word with her and hopefully she'll stop! Good luck
  • EmmaRankmore
    EmmaRankmore Posts: 125
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    My ex partner ignored me on purpose when I told him about meeting my mini goals (losing a kilo etc), told me I was looking 'chunky' even though he knew I was losing weight, laughed when others commented on how good I was looking and eventually cheated on me with a much skinnier younger girl. Hence he's my ex lol ;) Some people are just *kitten* mate - stay proud of you, you are doing whats awesome for you, be your best you and keep your head held high! Here at MFP we are proud as punch of you :D
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
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    I haven't hit that point where its a problem yet, or that it bothers me enough. My step Dad makes comments when I turn down a doughnut or pass up a cookie when I am offered. "Like that cookie is gonna make you gain ten pounds!" and its kind of annoying, but I know its worth it.
  • rwroble1
    rwroble1 Posts: 4
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    She's miserable and misery loves company. Stop hanging out with her at lunch and keep doing what you're doing. Frankly, you sound like an inspiration. Find new people to eat with who share your desire to be healthy.
  • AH2013
    AH2013 Posts: 385 Member
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    Jealousy! It's all it is. People are uncomfortable around others who are losing weight, especially if they are a little chunky themselves.

    I was complaining to my husband last week that I met a friend for lunch, told her I was dieting and then she proceeded to order all sorts of things saying I would share with her, ignoring what I'd said earlier. I declined and ordered what I wanted to eat. When she moaned about me being boring, I told her I'd lost over a stone since I saw her last and she answered me with " Really??". Now, I know I look completely different, but I'd obviously p'd her off by not joining her in her binge of bad stuff. As much as it upset me at the time I now know it's just because I highlighted something she is obviously self conscious about herself. Don't let it bother you, as long as you are healthy and happy, that's all that matters! :)
  • siabevis
    siabevis Posts: 811
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    Honey I had two people yesterday on THIS forum telling me that I was "0.6 pounds from being underweight' and that it was "scary." YEAH, they actually said that (see my "how i got my 6 pack" post on this board and you will see what I mean.) People like that will hate and spread negativity because they are JEALOUS. Just laugh and shrug it off. It hurts at first because its like, wow, why would someone really try to reign on your parade? But then its like, oh well, Im THAT successful! So congrats to you girl!! Keep on with the good work :) And Shine baby SHINE in the face of haters ;)
  • grannygethealthy1111
    grannygethealthy1111 Posts: 422
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    No ones opinion is as important as your own. Do you feel your weight is right for you? Your body frame? Do you feel healthy and full of energy?

    Change is uncomfortable for people. Maybe she secretly wishes she too could lose some weight. When she brings you food, invite her to take a walk with you at lunch. Perhaps she needs a little nudge to get going on a healthier lifestyle. Ignore negative comments. It is a waste of time and it doesn't burn one calorie! Hee! Hee!

    My suggestion ... go out for lunch or get a new lunch partner.
  • siabevis
    siabevis Posts: 811
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    No ones opinion is as important as your own. Do you feel your weight is right for you? Your body frame? Do you feel healthy and full of energy?

    Change is uncomfortable for people. Maybe she secretly wishes she too could lose some weight. When she brings you food, invite her to take a walk with you at lunch. Perhaps she needs a little nudge to get going on a healthier lifestyle. Ignore negative comments. It is a waste of time and it doesn't burn one calorie! Hee! Hee!

    My suggestion ... go out for lunch or get a new lunch partner.

    AMEN!
  • workingtowardsit
    workingtowardsit Posts: 11
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    You are beautiful! Don't allow them to distract what you are doing for yourself. My last attempt at weight loss I had no one who supported me and I failed terribly. This time I have a sister from our church family doing it side by side with me. It makes a huge difference when having support. You may not have it at the office but you have it here. Stay strong and God bless!:happy:

    Hollie
  • TipMcE
    TipMcE Posts: 158
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    Hi there and congrats on your weight loss. No doubt you've worked hard and feel great. And so you should. I've seen similar posts to yours and I think there are a few things going on. I think people are so used to seeing the old, bigger you that a healthier you looks too skinny in their eyes. I also think that your new healthier lifestyle and weightloss are bringing out unhappy feelings about their own bodies and they choose to focus on you rather than admit that perhaps they should lay off the cake and butter chicken, etc. It's funny how self centered people can be when it comes to food and weight. My husband's step mother, who used to be overweight always served lots of heavy rich foods at home (and taking just a little was not an option) and ordered several appetizers and desserts for the whole group when we used to go out for dinner. When she decided to lose weight, the food at home was slashed and no appetizers or desserts for anyone when we were out!

    Before marriage and babies I was always thin and had to deal with all sorts of negative comments and nicknames. The sort of thing no one would dream of saying to a heavier person, yet for some reason my food choices and weight were open for comment. It bugged me but I chose to ignore it and didn't hang around the people who made those comments. At one point when I was out of work and less active I put on weight and friends started saying how much better I looked, as my belly overflowed my pant waistband and my doctor was telling me to watch the weight gain. Hopefully your healthier lifestyle will soon become a norm in these people's minds and they will lay off the "interventions."
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I get it from family, friends and co-workers. That I don't eat enough. I am starving myself and going to get sick. I simply point out 3 major things to shut them up.

    1) I lift my shirt and point at my belly "Does this look like I am starving?" Recently it hasn't worked as much because It has been getting smaller and smaller. :bigsmile:

    2) I ask them: "Remember my diabetes? Remember how many different medications I took for it? Remember how it went away and no longer needed to take medications for it?" I was diagnosed with type II diabetes in Dec. 2009. Jan 2011 I was taken off my meds and my doctor has been checking up on me every few months. No signs of being diabetic anymore since Jan. 2011.

    3) I again ask them: "SO How many sick days do you have left?" I rarely get sick. I haven't called in sick to work in over 5+ years. I get sick probably 1-2x a year. The most I stay sick is 2 days.
  • Serialdieter
    Serialdieter Posts: 114
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    I think it is quite common for people to be negative or to try hold you back in weight loss and it all boils down to their low self asteem. Just continue what you are doing and distance yourselves from the people who are trying to bring you down :)
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Tune it all out....you are doing this for you, right?
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    You've seen my wall posts regarding family etc...so you have an idea of what I go through. I also get the usual, "You need to eat a hamburger!!", "If you have something to tell us, feel free to let us know", and my favorite "Why can't you just live a little!!! Stop all that diet nonsense and eat something good!!!".
    I do eat "something good", I just choose not to eat that processed shizz everyone in my immediate social group does. Its been worse since I lost my beer belly lol. I had quite the belly on an otherwise small frame, now that that's gone I've had lots of mid life crisis jokes (I'm 35 for f ucks sake).
    Good times. I don't let it get to me.

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