Daily NSV Post

Some base information on me to start off:

I realized my weight and general health was making me miserable with I hit 201 lbs in college (Running Start student, so I was technically 17/an upper HS kid). I didn't really know what I could do about it, but my Mum had told me about MFP so I downloaded it then to try. I watched the calories, ate back workout calories only about half the time, went on a lot of hikes (I love slow but long distance hiking). I had chronic, supposedly uncurable knee pain from a condition I had called Osgood Schlater's disease and some other injuries, so I wasn't in sports/couldn't run or do a lot of heavy cardio/etc.

I worked for a nursing home for about 6 months and was walking a lot. It was around then that I hit my low of 165.7 and also around then that the burnout of full time work and full time school along with 4 undiagnosed mental disorders caused me to crash and burn mental-health-wise.

It took 4 years to recover from that burnout, and I'm still (probably lifelong) working through much of my mental health stuff.

Anyway, I coped via chocolate a lot and so most of the weight came back. I tried starting again a couple times but have kept coming back up to the mid 190s whenever i have a couple weeks of the ol' Depression come calling. I'd honestly call my relationship with chocolate a form of self harm in that it sabotages all my earlier effort (and let's face it, the sugar rush isn't really treating the Depression, just warding it off for like... an hour)

Last year I was down almost 20 lbs by the end of the Summer. PT had fixed the supposed chronic knee pain and then the hip pain that developed from using my legs correcting for the first time in 15 years, and while insurance canceled before they could fix my balance, they told me the issue would be solved with improved glute strength. I hit a plateau in all my measurements, but wasn't too worried. Then I had some major job changes and couch surfed at my parents for 2 months while working the new job virtually, before moving halfway across the state. In those 2 months I climbed back from 181 to 201, regained the lost inches from my waist, and lost the little bit of running endurance my asthma filled self had taken months to build up in the first place.

Now I'm settled, I'm starting weighttraining which I've always wanted to do but couldn't afford until now (I was too anxious to do it at the gym with no one to help me get form correct), I went on a 2 mile run (3/4s of it was a walk) and almost died but think I could manage doing again with better pacing, and my food options are a lot broader and healthier. My weight is 196 as of this morning and yesterday I went swing dancing with some friends and didn't get winded (not for lack of effort)!

I'll wrap up the not so brief history of me with a photo post below which proves that weight isn't the only measure of health. I gained 15 lbs between the two photos (one was High School, at 185 lbs, the other is when I hit 200 in late Feb. But I'm eating better, getting outside more, and in general taking better care of me, so that I can take better care of my friends and family!

Finally got the photo working! 185 lbs sickly versus 200 lbs but getting healthier

Monday NSVs!

• Weightlifting class #2! Had to modify a couple things but I survived
  • need to remember to drink more water before class
• Looked in the mirror while getting dressed and didn't think negative thoughts about my torso/stomach shape.