WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2025
Replies
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One way to find out what's going on is to ask him pointed questions β¦ quietly, no yelling.
Ask him if he is upset that you've moved into a different room.
Ask if he feels like you don't love him as much anymore or if he feels like he's done something wrong.
Because recent tradition has us sleeping in the same room, in the same bed with the person we've married, when we move out, it can easily be taken like a break in the relationship. For my husband and me, we moved into separate beds after his accident in 2018 and even then, at first, he wasn't sure about it. Now he likes the fact that we share a room, but we've each got a twin bed. We both sleep much better.
Ask him if he is upset about the money being spent on your room.
Ask if he thought he should be consulted.
And if he is thinking of doing something with his room, ask if he's concerned that you're going to take over on that project. Then reassure him that you will leave it to him
Machka in Oz
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Heather - All good advice from Machka. I'm working with Corey's male pride these days from a number of different directions, and the only thing that seems to work is to ask directly. I definitely cannot read his mind, and I think it's funny that he thinks he can read mine. I read his emotions, especially his micro-expressions, but heβ¦ well, I'm not sure what I'm reading, but it's not my mind! He is uncomfortable with direct questions, but a very placid, non-threatening delivery goes a long way to helping calm that discomfortβ¦
And on the code switching thing, I've found myself developing a lisp in conversation with a lisper, totally unintentional and yep, embarrassing as all get out. Didn't even know I was doing it.
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Morning all
Im awake and getting ready to get up..get dressed and load the car..we have had a lovely time for sure but its time to go home..backed into a car in the parking lot last night no damage to there car ,but a small dent in mine,hoping it can get popped out.will have to make an appointment at the Honda dealership for the tire situation.
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902902
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Carol β¦ I am sorry that your husband is having health problems! Love the photos of your family β¦ they are a good looking crew!
Code switching β¦ never heard that term before, but I suspect I've been guilty of it at times.
Machka β¦ I always look forward to your posts when another member has mentioned a problem they are having. You are a problem solver looking at the situation from all angles! Congratulations on getting rid of another 2-liter bottle!
Male pride β¦ don't even get me started on that β¦
Debbie β¦ "deceased asset" β¦ that was harsh and unnecessary.
The bathroom project has hit a snag. The one wall is not plumb and we're waiting on the shower door manufacturer to speak with my husband and see if their line of doors with supposed adjustment capabilities will actually work. I will be so disappointed if we have to use a pole and shower curtain after all of my husband's work.
Little projects to get caught up on today. Better get at them.
Beth near Buffalo
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π Lanette, I don't use Facebook, but they let me look at the video. Hilarious. I have to remember that Shilo, the Golden Retriever, swiped food off the counter (a loaf of bread, a sandwich) countless times, Sasha, the red poodle, destroyed a hardback library book, a personal book, and an expensive shoe, Brandy, the black poodle, pulled bowls of cat food off the kitchen counter and ate the food and one time managed to lock me out of the house by flipping the switch on the sliding glass door. Annie just has her own style. It is compounded by my being alone.
π Kay, bravo to you for taking care of your brother's dog, Lavender.
π Debbie, when my mother died and we decided to move into her house, we rented storage units and moved a lot of things so we didn't have to make too many decisions too fast. It is a daunting task to go through someone else's stuff. You and your husband and son are doing a great job.
π Heather, about male pride. Jake through the years that his health, strength, and stamina were declining put out a lot of energy telling me what he was going to do or buying things for projects he never did or instructing me in how to do the things I normally did.
π Rebecca, best wishes on your new plan for weight loss.
π Beth, best wishes on your bathroom remodel. Ours didn't have the challenges you have, but it cost a fortune and we had workers here for more days than I wanted.
π Not much getting done in the house while I concentrate on the yard. Yesterday I finalized my strategy for cleaning the vinyl fence. If I do a bit each day, it will be clean by the end of June. The plan is simple, non-toxic, and effective without needing the power washer.
π΅ Annie did better during dance yesterday. She was able to play by herself with her toys more than she has before.
π Barbie in NW WA
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Thought for today:
Why do only some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships simply donβt wok out!
RVRita in Roswell
5 -
Made chocolate bran muffins, now making dog biscuits for Jessβ dog. Itβs his birthday today
Lanette β yes, it certainly makes you wonder why someone has to quit their job. If itβs just transposed numbers when they searched, that can be taken care of. She was only working for 4 hrs/day for 3 days/week so maybe she decided that she wasnβt making much money to justify being there.
Deb β boy, you sure donated lot of things! Iβm sure theyβll make lots of money on you alone
M β congrats on the weight loss. Is the soda you drink sugar free?
I usually get to work at 6:15 but this morning it was raining so hard that I didnβt get there until almost 6:30
Allie β so glad you had such a great vacation. Iβm sure you feel so much better. Sorry about the βbumpβ but glad itβs nothing real bad.
Barbie β I still remember when Vince first retired he was telling me how to run the dishwasher. I finally said to him βIβve been doing this for over 25 years, donβt you think I kind-of know how to do it?β I wonβt be able to clean the railing on the deck until they build the new deck, which we were told would probably be in mid-June. Thatβs what we were TOLD anyway, but we shall seeβ¦.
Has anyone ever seen the play βJunkβ? Is it like Mamma Mia where people are walking down the street and suddenly break out into song? From the write up, it doesnβt sound like it is. Iβd like to go see it, but Vince doesnβt because he thinks that since itβs billed as a βmusicalβ thatβs what will happen. To me, βEscape to Margaritavilleβ could be called a musical since there were a lot of Jimmy Buffet songs in it, but he still thought it was entertaining.
Remember that absess I had on my finger. Well...like I predicated, Iβm having the hardest time keeping a band-aid on it since my hands are in water so much at work, even at home. Well, not as much at home, but still a lot.
Michele
4 -
Hey, guys,
Corey told me on the phone on his way home last night that he'd be out to work all morning today - a brake repair on the only truck they have up north, about two hours from his shop. If it's not in worse shape than he expects, he should be headed back home in a couple hours to finally begin that "four-day-off" span that is now three days at best.
It is what it is. I'm encouraging him to take one more vacation day and actually get that fourth day off, but doubt he'll push it. He did at least get 9 hours of sleep, and didn't head out until 8:30. He usually leaves home by 5:15. I really hate it that he's so tired all the time.
Am cooling off and picking bits of brush and grass clippings out of my hair. Got two of the five huge brush piles burned, and once I had enough of the smoke and the heat, got on the big zero-turn and mowed the couple acres nearest the house. It's over 80 now and headed up, so I'm done outside for today.
I also smell like a sweaty smoked ham, so a shower is definitely in my near future.
For those who haven't seen it on FB:
Later,
Love,
Lisa6 -
Congrats to you on losing 18.5 lbs! That is quite an accomplishment! You should be very proud of yourself as you did the work to make it happen.π.
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Nice! I am just going to focus on getting my protein in, low sugar and low carbs. Because this medicine works to cut out "food noise" gone are my item laden meals and soups with lots of things. Like today was pretty much a repeat of yesterday. I have a deli size coleslaw salad that's really good, but really only using a spoonful for two small street taco tortillas with steak in them. Lunch today is some brown rice, low-fat cottage cheese, and 5 chicken nuggets. Dinner is the steak tortillas, and snack is strawberries and yogurt. I am getting to know what foods do well.ππΌ
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Good morning! (Here, at least, although barely)
My son's play is this weekend β Peter and the Starcatcher. The kids do such a good job. They look like they are having so much fun, and the audience has been very responsive. It is a very witty play.
Our local newspaper had a picture from one of the dress rehearsals. It's not a great shot, but my son plays Peter and is the one on the left, as you look at the picture. Really proud of that boy. Graduation is just three weeks away, and everything is winding up.
He was scheduled to take a senior trip to the eastern part of the state with some friends. The status of that trip is now uncertain. I was going to put the details in a spoiler, but as it turns out, I don't see how to do that anymore. Just beware that the details could be upsetting.
<spoiler> My son's girlfriend's best friend was the one planning the senior trip. As her graduation gift, her parents (mother and stepfather, it turns out) were paying for a week away in a vrbo for her friends, with the parents chaperoning. The trip was planned for mid-June, and I've been communicating with the friend's mother, and it all seemed on the up and up and we were good with it.
Then very late Thursday night or early Friday morning, the friend discovered a hidden camera in her bathroom. Thankfully, she immediately told her mother and the police were called. The stepfather has been arrested and served with non-contact papers. My son has used that bathroom. His girlfriend has used that bathroom a lot. So far, the investigators haven't found any images, so the charges are misdemeanors β basically "attempt to . . ." The charges could change if images are discovered, but in the meantime, this friend group has been completed turned upside down with horror. The friend is also in the play (not the girl in the picture), and while she took Friday off from school, she managed to make it to the Friday performance and did a fantastic job. But obviously she is devastated. It's a violation that is difficult to grasp, even as an adult. I can't imagine trying to come to terms with it as an 18 year old.
My son left first thing this morning to be with his girlfriend. They may also get together with the friend, who is now staying at her boyfriend's house. I just don't know what is wrong with people. I don't understand it. </spoiler>
Sorry for the downer.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
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Machka - thank you for sharing your food log. I learn a lot from everyone seeing how you plan your meals.
Rebecca - good idea going to the gym and working on those muscles! One criticism I keep reading about with these weight loss drugs is that folks are losing muscle, not just fat, and we need all the muscle we can get. π
Machka - great job on the weight loss, you have the perfect combination of balanced diet and exercise to keep things humming! Also - good tips on getting husbands to communicate, and hopefully these questions would help. We have to be prepared for their honest answer though - I've tried using these tactics in the past and they work out 99% of the time, but with my DH who would hold things in, it sometimes opened Pandora's box.π£ I had to figure out how to read the room and time it just right. Marriage is WORK!
Beth - hope there's a fix for the shower door. I know you'll be glad when that bathroom is finally finished!
Kay - Possum will look great after her haircut. She sounds like a smart little gal! You and Dave are so kind to give her a home.
Carol - very nice family photos. Adorable group! Your son looks like he recovered from his surgery just fine, hope he's doing well.
Barbie - thank you for reminding that all dogs have their quirks! Now that Rosie is older - she just turned 8 - she runs out of energy quicker, seems to sleep more and doesn't pester me to throw her toys for an hour. She has even stopped barking at the mail lady unless she drives a different vehicle or pulls into the driveway to drop off a package.
Lisa - hope Corey was able to wrap up that job quickly this morning and will be ready for some days off. My DH would have done the same. He liked to do a good job, loved the praise and appreciation he got (who doesn't?), and was afraid if someone else did the job they'd mess it up. π
I've been thinking of our Vicki, hope the new job is going OK. π
Have a super day! or afternoon or night!
Lanette π
SW WA State
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Flea - I'm so sorry for your son's girlfriend's trauma (and his) and even more so that sickening betrayal on the part of someone who is supposed to protect her. The ripples never truly fade, but they do lessen over the years. The mother's reaction in calling the police and gaining the no-contact papers was absolutely the best thing she could have done for her daughter.
5 -
Flea - Sorry - just re-read that, that it was a friend of the girlfriend. The comment is no less apt, just my reference was incorrect. Oh - and to begin a spoiler, start a new line.
Click on the paragraph icon all the way to the left, and the upside down quote, and choose spoiler, and you've begun a spoiler box that you can type within. It will shrink up when you post. If you decide after you've put a block of text in already that it should be in a spoiler, highlight everything you want in and do the same sequence.
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Michele - are you wearing gloves at work? I certainly would there if handling food and at home if dealing with food and water and bandage won't stay on. They do have some very good waterproof bandages out there. In terms of Junk-don't think there is much in the way of music. I believe it is about the Junk Bond stuff in the 1980's so more of a serious show. Had good reviews when it came out.
Rebecca - good start on your new food journey. You was habits you can maintain,
Flea - I am sorry for the trauma the group is experiencing. That sort of thing is, unfortunately, much more common than people realize. They should be able to determine if images have been erased. Mom is indeed doing the right thing. I hope they get some of the counseling they will need for this tremendous betrayal of trust.
Did not sleep well last night-stupid spot in my back. I am going to try sleeping on other side of the mattress to see if that makes a difference. I have what is supposed to be a good mattress but I don't think it is good for me. I have only had it for two years. It will be in the spare bedroom when I move. Since it is a full bed and I am going to get a queen (maybe a king) for my new room-I will be getting a new mattress so I really don't want to buy a second one now. Such a first world problem
I also sorted sweaters and sweatshirts today. I currently have 4 bags to drop off-may have more tomorrow. I am keeping fewer than half of sweatshirts and sweaters. Working on sock drawers tomorrow (yes, I have thing for socks). But, with not working I don't have to have so many to go with dress pants (because I am getting rid of most of them when I am done!).
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
6 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family - 1hr 57min 3sec, 13468steps, 70elev, 2.70ap, 94ahr, 160mhr, 5.38mi= 537c
Strava app= 652c
ROUVY home spin bike- strava stats- 6.32min, 147aw, 43.8amph, 97ahr, 111mhr, 4.76mi= 41c
Strava app= 55c
ROUVY stats- 6.32min, 147aw, 67arpm, 43.6amph, 4.77mi= 55cTotal cal 578
1452.56 miles ahead
9039034 -
Heather - I hope you and John are back in sync now. Itβs always stressful when we arenβt.
Code switching - I had never heard that term before. Is that like an accent change or a whole character change? Or is it a colloquialism thing?
When Kaitlyn was learning to talk Rodger was driving truck. He picks up accents very easily, and for a span of several months he seemed to run from NB to Florida back to NFLD. Kaitlyn somehow picked up his accents. She had a southern accent with a Newfie twist. She started calling me Mama. lol
I just sat down to catch up with you all at 630pm.
I chatted with our eldest for a few minutes this morning to discuss her tire situation. She has not been taking the kids to school for months now because she didnβt have money to get her tire fixed. I found a set on Marketplace place rims included for $125 so I went and picked them up.
The lady said 3pm, between you and another lady, whoever gets here first. I told her I was wanting to drive 35 minutes each way for nothing. She sent a message shortly after Jonah and I started gardening so I left and went to get them.
When I got back Jonah and I worked another 2 hours getting the garden and pots done. He had mowed while I was away.
He was quite happy he earned extra this week. He counted his money as soon as he got home and he has $6 over the halfway mark to his goal. He figures 15 weeks mowing will get him there. I told him he should see if anyone else needs help. His mother said her BFF has already asked for him.Carol - Beautiful family.
Beth - I hope the doors will work! Itβs a frustrating process for sure.
Barbie - l have had to helped clean out a couple of homes including twice with my own stuff. I honestly donβt know if there would be much more I wanted to part with anytime soon.
Michele - there are finger things like a vinyl glove but only for one finger. It might help keep the bandaid on. I would be so worried about Sepsis I would be doing everything I could to help heal.
Lisa - I hope Corey gets a solid 4. He works hard.
Flea - How devastating for that young girl. Your son is handsome.
Ginny - Mattresses are so expensive and are impossible to figure out for a while. My daughter and son in law bought an Endy. They have really enjoyed it, they chose it because of the 90 day return policy.
Kay - I hope you and Lavender have a long friendship.
Debbie - thatβs a lot to get rid of, good job!
Well Iβve written a novel. I decided to go sit in the deck and enjoy the fruits of our labor today. It is chilly and windy so wrapped up in a blanket.Iβm going now to take a bath and soak my sore muscles.
I really need to come up with a way of fixing this table.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Just to clarify - Possum is not going to live with me and Dave. She is going to stay on the family farm. I'm just working with her to teach her to walk on a leash and am seeing that she gets her shots and grooming and assuming financial responsibility for her needs. My mother is feeding her the new Science Diet food I bought her at the vet and has strict orders not to give her any table food. She wanders back and forth from Mama's yard to the body shop yard (all on the farm). Dave and I don't have a fenced in yard, and we feel that she has enough trauma missing my brother and the man who worked at the body shop that was probably responsible for getting her so fat feeding her from his refrigerator. She doesn't need to be uprooted from her home, too.
I have been keeping up with my workouts most mornings but have not been logging my food. I have probably been eating less than usual with all of my running around between Mama's and helping my niece to move. I was gone for at least part of the day every day this week except for Monday. I have actually managed to drop a couple of pounds. I could join in the conversation about husband feeling a bit neglected, but I don't have time. He is being really nice about it, but I can tell he's feeling it. Bless him. He really is a keeper. Tomorrow is our granddaughter's dance recital. I will be gone all day for that since she lives 2 hours away on the far side of Atlanta in Carol's neck of the woods. Dave doesn't go. His back can't take all that time in the car and auditorium seats.
Tracey, that is a fantastic deck. It looks so inviting.
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Tracey - Walmart has some terrific-looking stick-on vinyl tiles that would look good on it - easy to cut with a box cutter knife or eXacto knife. I would scrape everything off the top, spraypaint it with Kilz, which will seal it well, and you can get it in white, not too expensive, and the stick-on tiles should stick well to the painted surface. Maybe $20 fix all told?
Code-switching is basically changing the way you speak and interact to fit into a given cultural situation.
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Tracey- those are called finger cats the little latex or neoprene things that go on fingers
I did the laundry and got my pills done..and after a long day I'm hitting the hay
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Flea β Iβm horrified!!!
Ginny β absolutely, I need to wear gloves at work. But to be honest, theyβre not the absolute greatest. They do have better ones (tighter) at the soup kitchen. But the ones at BK do keep non-contact with food. When I go to the bathroom, I wash my hands and, of course, am not wearing gloves. Also, if I need to wash some of the pans or even look in the sink if there are any, Iβm not wearing gloves. Oh, the write-up about βJunkβ says that itβs a story of a yardsale, a mermaid, and the complicated lives of those caught up in it. Karissa is clearing out her ex-bf Dwightβs things when he unexpectedly shows up with his new gf. With a quirky trio of veteran pickers adding to the chaos, this musical is a fun, heartfelt exploration of moving on and finding new connections
Since I donβt work, the plan is to do a 20/20 target toning DVD then a Yoga for Beginners DVD. Then need to go to Loweβs since Vince needs baling wire. On amazon itβs something like $12. The exact same thing at Loweβs is $6.
We have a tree (blue spruce)that was leaning. We think it was due to all the high winds we had plus the rain which made the ground softer. We got that one righted and have it tied down hoping that the ground will help keep it upright. Vince ordered more stakes for the other blue spruce.
Tracey β when the band-aid falls off, I do put a new one back on. Itβs just a royal pain. Wish it would just stay on. Youβve given me an idea. I know we have rubber gloves that we used to use when weβd give Loki his chemo. I know for a while Vince would cut one finger off and use that to keep his bowling finger warm. Maybe I could just cut one off. So Iβd put the antibiotic on it, a band-aid on top of that, and the rubber finger over that. Good thought
Decided to check out this one park around here. Itβs nice only the walking trails are just dirt so when it rains, it gets very muddy. Otherwise, itβs not bad for a change of pace. I did find another park that Iβll check out another day.
Michele
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Did not sleep well last night-stupid spot in my back. I am going to try sleeping on other side of the mattress to see if that makes a difference. I have what is supposed to be a good mattress but I don't think it is good for me. I have only had it for two years. It will be in the spare bedroom when I move. Since it is a full bed and I am going to get a queen (maybe a king) for my new room-I will be getting a new mattress so I really don't want to buy a second one now. Such a first world problem
If you're getting a king, be sure to get one that splits into 2 twins. Maybe they're all made that way now.
The 2 twins king-sized bed is so much easier to move and is more versatile. You can get the same mattress for each twin, or different mattresses, if you'd like to have one harder and one softer.
And if you want to change the mattress to something else, a twin mattress is less expensive.
M in Oz
4 -
Regarding spoilers, quotes, etc.
See the paragraph symbol to the left of the comment box.
Click it.
There you'll find buttons for headings which change the size of the text, lists, and quotes.
If you click the " symbol, you'll see the following:
Click Spoiler, and you'll get an area where you can type your spoiler.
Or you can type something, highlight it, and then click the Spoiler button.
Machka in Oz
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My three mains things to concentrate on is getting enough protein (try for 100 grams daily), drinking 80 oz of water daily, and going to the gym with husband Mon-Thurs. Its only three things.π€π
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Tracy, so beautiful everything you did! You will enjoy watching everything root and get happy!
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Todays day was smashing!
I know caloric level is kind of low, but with my appetite lessening its been hard! I ate my protein which is the main thing.ππΌπ
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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One of the things which has really helped me exercise more this year is the at least 15 minutes a day for at least 300 days commitment.
At least 300 days gives me some flexibility - I can take days off now and then if I'm not feeling up to it. I've got 65 days I could take off.
At least 15 minutes a day is not much. It's a tiny portion of the day. But committing to that gets me out there walking, cycling, or whatever. And I usually do more once I'm out there.
Machka in Oz
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Tracey - Beautiful job! Your deck and surroundings look really inviting. I can just imagine myself there, visiting with you. Perhaps your wonderful grandchildren would pop over. π
John's bout with his stomach seems to have improved his mood. He had something to worry about! He started to feel a lot better by the evening, and the Internet came back on in the afternoon so he could watch his cricket. Plus his hated team were defeated in the FA Cup Final by the underdog. Joy all round! Also he felt useful because my son's printer has packed up and he urgently needed an invoice printed. I told him to email it to John and he would print it. My son came over to collect it. I told him to wait until the match had finished!
My son asked us to have the children all day in July, so they could go to a wedding in London. It's also the day of Bea's year end Big Show, so at least some of us will be taking her to that and watching it. When she did her speech at the school show, people asked my son if she was professionally trained. Yes. Someone asked him if she wanted an agent. No. No. No. She so loves her theatre class on Saturdays. She's been rehearsing this new show for months.
In quid pro quo, I asked my son to take all our garage junk to the tip. We have made a date in the diary for June. Hooray! Mostly defunct electrical junk, but a lot!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
6 -
I'll just mention a few things here:
- you won't likely see beverages on my food list. That's because I rarely drink my calories. My most common beverages are water and black coffee.
- I can't eat most nuts because my body doesn't like them. However, I can eat sunflower seeds, pepitas and pine nuts. So, some days I have a tablespoon or two of this seed mix. It gives me a little more protein and fat.
- I'm also lactose intolerant and react to certain dairy products. But I can eat yogurt (there's a yogurt on my list above) and I can have hard cheeses. I like a little bit of parmesan cheese on my dinners.
Another chilly winter bicycle ride. Not as cold as when I used to cycle in the winters in Manitoba and Alberta but still enough to leave me feeling a bit chilled all evening.
Nevertheless, I am so glad to get out!!
On my ride, I saw: an echidna, a wallaby, small horses, cows, sheep, alpacas, dogs, black crows, magpies, plovers, little parrots, galahs, ducks and I heard a white cocky but didn't see it. Oddly, I didn't see any seagulls.
Machka in Oz
3
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