Mother trying to sabotage weight loss

Options
PM_37
PM_37 Posts: 11 Member
in Motivation and Support

I don't live at home anymore yet my mother is still trying to find ways to sabotage my weight loss. For context my mother is over weight and has been trying to lose weight since I was little with little success. I've been working on eating healthier and losing weight and have been seeing progress, this makes me mom mad. She recently invited me over to the house for dinner, I came and ate a smaller portion (I didn't have many calories left for the day and didn't want to have to work the excess ones off). She started saying I looked malnourished and anorexic and kept putting food on my plate (I am 5'4 and 116lbs) I told her I didn't want anymore and she just started getting mad and calling me selfish. I don't want to cut her out of my life, even though she's not a great person she is still my mother and I deeply care for her, I just need advice on boundaries and the such.

Replies

  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 616 Member

    I say this to be kind. May 12th you were 125lbs, wanting to get to around 105lbs, which would give you an underweight BMI. I'd suggest taking a step back and reconsidering your goal.

    It looks like there is a lot going on behind the scenes, which sounds tough.

    I wish you all the best.

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 19,109 Member

    I agree with Fursian. Not saying your mom doesn't have weight issues of her own, but you are already at a very low BMI, though still in healthy range, and your goal weight is below healthy range. Sometimes when we are in the throes of unhealthy habits, concern can look like sabotage. Can I respectfully and kindly suggest you discuss your goals and motivations with someone with a health background who can give you some objective advice and guidance?

  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 4,950 Member

    I dont know you or your mom, but,

    2 thoughts—

    1. You've given her reason to show concern
    2. Body Dysmorphia. I lost 50 pounds very quickly. Even though I was technically still overweight-bmi 26- people who had known me a long time, but not long enough to remember me at a healthier weight, we're all worried about me. And they continued to be worried for quite a while.

    Either way, she is probably genuinely concerned about you. Be thankful you have someone who cares. Too many people dont.

  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,371 Member

    I agree with the posters above. In addition, if bodies and food are a sources of tension between you, don’t eat together. Find other ways to spend time together besides meals.

  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,371 Member
    edited June 25

    Another question that comes to mind is this: What does it look like to be a polite guest in someone else’s home? I believe that if we accept a dinner invitation, then we need to eat what the host is serving. I might would refrain from putting one of the dishes on my plate (like a macaroni or a giant roll or something) but then I’d make sure I ate what the host spent time preparing for me. That might mean planning all day to have some ample calories available at dinner. It might mean for that one day I don’t get an accurate calorie count or I go over. I only find myself in this scenario about once a month so it doesn’t derail my health at all,

Categories