I HAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM

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FIRSTMENSCH
FIRSTMENSCH Posts: 11
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello fellow weight-challenged friends,
This is my first login in months. I strayed from this group. Never thought I needed this virtual help. As it turns out, I DO. I def need some help. During my months away I gained 10 lbs on top of the already hideous 25lbs I was over weight. I just went food mad. I ate and ate and ate and ate like what's eating Gilbert Grape. I shmeared everything I could with butter, syrup, honey, cream or jam. I ate everything I could find that was fried. And I ate a lot of it. i ate multiple servings at buffet tables and three courses when one would have sufficed. I ate enormous amounts of food even when i wasn't hungry. in fact I ate enormous amounts of food on a full stomach. I never questioned my behaviour, I just ate. Obviously I was getting enjoyment from the food. I'm not even sure i was. I was sucking Tums like mints and swallowing ZANTAC as if it were a multi-vitamin. I think I was committing a slow suicide. Death by food. I never said no to dessert. I never said no to bread. I never said no to pizza. I ate like i was immune to obesity. And the scariest part is i never really saw myself getting fat. I kinda thought I wore it well. I believed I had beaten the system. i could eat as if I were in Heaven and never get fat. And then one day, today, i woke up and became short of breath tying my shoelace. And walking from my bed to the toilet exercise. And I took a few self-snaps on my phone and I noticed I had grown three more chins. And I look old and tired. I feel like **** and I am sick of heartburn and shortness of breath. And I I hate seeing myself in the reflection of windows. have realized that all that food, however comforting it was at the time, is not my friend. It means to destroy me. It means to make me miserable and ugly. And now I MUST EAT ONLY TO FOOD THAT IS GENUINELY KIND TO ME AND WANTS TO HELP ME. I think I have turned a corner. I think I'm committed now. God I hope I am.

Replies

  • Meggles63
    Meggles63 Posts: 916 Member
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    Good luck! You can do it!
  • nsimportant
    nsimportant Posts: 170 Member
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    You can do it!
  • 2725MeadowTree
    2725MeadowTree Posts: 3 Member
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    You are not alone and you are brave enough to admit that you need a support system . . .we all do, it's only a select few of us that are willing to admit it! One day at a time, you CAN do this -- for YOURSELF. You deserve to feel great and looking great is only the icing on the cake. ENJOY the adventure and best of luck!
  • shad1018
    shad1018 Posts: 191 Member
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    Change begins with choice, and you have made the right choice. You deserve to live a healthy life and the good news about hitting rock b ottom is there is no where to go but up. You can and will do this. Make a committment to log in to MFP everyday and log all your food, even if you indulge more than you should. Track Everything! It will get better and we are all in this fight together.

    Susan :smile:
  • Greenjd98
    Greenjd98 Posts: 1
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    Most of us have been there before...take each day at a time....eating is like any other addiction, and should be treated as such. It will consume your world, as you've just told us, but it can be beat! Day by Day. Keep your head up. At least you've realized that there is a problem.
  • sabrekism
    sabrekism Posts: 113 Member
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    ride with me...we shall do it together !!
  • inspiration345
    inspiration345 Posts: 218 Member
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    Don't worry.I hope you enjoyed every bite you ate.Now try to spend just as many days not eating all those foods.I saw a documentary on juice fasting that works wonders in dropping lots of weight. The documentary was called Fat sick and nearly dead.
  • LynnBirchfield
    LynnBirchfield Posts: 579 Member
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    You can and will do this!! Gaining 10 lbs over several months isn't that bad. You can get it going again!!
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
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    You came to the right place! You CAN get back on track!!
  • Ajaay
    Ajaay Posts: 70 Member
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    We all rebel against ourselves at some time or another. The important thing is to realize that its not what you truely want. Then when it comes to giving up on eating what you want, when you want, it's easier to admit that you don't actually want those things. Sometimes my taste buds don't want to admit that I don't want cheesecake, but then I look at the calories and I understand that I don't like cheesecake that much.
  • reenymac
    reenymac Posts: 14 Member
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    I saw a quote the other day from the Author JK Rowling which I thought was good and may help you


    "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."



    So rock bottom is not such a bad way to be !! only way is up :smile:
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    you made a choice to not care. now you made the choice to change. good for you. change is the hardest thing we have to do, and changing ourselves is probably the toughest.

    remember, this is 80% nutrition, 20% exercise. you need to be disciplined with your food intake, and that will be the hardest. you may need to make drastic changes, and it's going to drive you crazy. through out any bad food in the house. buy yourself some normal and healthy cook books, and a good set of pots and pans.

    i find that money can be a great motivator. i mean, if you go out and spend $1000 on cooking utensils, you're going to want to get your moneys worth.
  • mimaduck83
    mimaduck83 Posts: 175 Member
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    you can do it...everyone on here has ups as well as downs...it's called life as well as being human and therefore fallible. Sent you a message...chin up and tomorrow is always a new start.
  • chocoholicandbaby
    chocoholicandbaby Posts: 75 Member
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    Using your Gilbert Grape reference, just remind yourself that you don't want to be like Momma Grape!!

    Losing weight is a bloody hard thing to do when you're not ready. You need to flick that switch in your head and realise you deserve to be healthy. You deserve to look after your body. You don't deserve the junk.
    And remember that in a years time you will be glad you started today!
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    If you've never failed, its b/c you've neve tried.
  • loosingtabsy
    loosingtabsy Posts: 2
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    I did the same, and I realised what I was doing and thought oh my god! As like you I thought I wore it well, but then again I look at myself and maybe not so much!
    I have come back and I am back with more will power. Over the last few weeks I have gained so much,. I feel awful about how I look and also my health. My family is for the most part healthy and slim and my mum makes comments about how I stand out from the family. It's time to change and actually these guys here are the support you need cause at the end of the day we are all here for the same reason.

    Good luck to you! I'm in the same boat!
    :)
  • FeelTheRhythm
    FeelTheRhythm Posts: 18
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    Hello! You're not alone. I am still on my first week of logging in after what it seems to be months... This whole year I would get into shape but I would also fall out of shape. Like yourself, I had even indulged into glutony and ate as if I had nothing to worry about. Hopefully MFP will keep us in line of not falling into the excessive ways again. I know that you CAN get back on the right track because you already took the first step. I can't wait to see progress from you! :)

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