fat and alone

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  • Betmar83
    Betmar83 Posts: 30 Member
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    I can sympathize completely, I graduated in 2001 and I've never had a "real" date. I only recently received my first kiss about two months ago. I was very self-conscious because of my weight and I know that contributed greatly to my lack of male interests. However, since I started losing the weight, thanks to the help of MFP, my confidence and self-worth have increased greatly. I'm much more outgoing and I notice that I'm getting a lot more attention from the opposite sex. So, chin up. You've got to love yourself before anyone else can.
  • donnajones1967
    donnajones1967 Posts: 3
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    This is my first day here, My chiropractor told me about this website. I just joined today!
  • donnajones1967
    donnajones1967 Posts: 3
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    :smile:
  • Reesecup312
    Reesecup312 Posts: 277 Member
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    Hello there,
    My name is Reesie. I just joined the site and I happened to see your post. I know what you mean about lack of confidence. I do know one thing, if you want something bad enough, you will work to get it. If it's a date, you will have to work for it and make yourself available to meeting somebody. Not all guys are turned off by fat women but it would help to be in shape and take care of yourself.
    You are here and I hope that you use these tools to get yourself going down the road to success. What a beautiful journey it can be as you start hitting your goals and you start feeling good about yourself too!!
    Good luck to you. I hope you get what you are looking for dear.
  • Verito52
    Verito52 Posts: 2
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    When you find the right guy it doesnt matter if you are a size 2 or a size 16. you are beautiful because of who you are. Good luck on this journey and i am sure you will do well
  • ptrain987
    ptrain987 Posts: 30
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    totally agree. I'm married and my husband always tells me..."you are so beautiful honey...blah blah mushy mushy" even though he says it i don't feel it and i'm embarrassed for him when we go out in public because he's this muscular skinny thing and i'm this fat water balloon lol...but it doesn't matter to him he still married me anyway
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Totally agree with the responses you've received. Looks may be part of the initial attraction but if you project confidence and happiness, you'll still attract plenty of guys! I've been overweight/obese since I graduated high school in 1992 (well, up until earlier this year anyway), dated a few guys in college and a couple after that and was still quite heavy when I met my hubby. There were likely some guys in there that didn't give me a 2nd look because of my weight but there were still plenty that could look beyond it and liked me for me.

    Not sure where to start? How about taking some night courses, going to a gym, even getting used to chatting people up in the line at the grocery store? I know it can be tough when you're shy/introverted but with some practice, it gets easier.
  • blakeman187
    blakeman187 Posts: 53
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    You really just need to focus on yourself, improving things in your own life. Once you do that all that external stuff just falls into place. I remember in high school I didn't go to either of my proms nor any of the dances because I was petrified with talking to any girls, and it was because I embarrassed with how fat I was.

    Do it for yourself, not anyone else.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    I have to agree with the other reviewers. If you appear confident and happy, that changes the way people look at you. I have more men flirt with me now than I did when I was younger and skinnier! Than again, I am also a lot happier than I used to be back then. Losing weight is not going to help you build up your self-esteem or increase your dates. It will help you feel better about yourself which will in turn make you more attractive to others.
    If you lose weight to get more dates you will be sorely disappointed.

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