Everyone but hubby notices results

ksself
ksself Posts: 9
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
I have dropped 13lbs, and I'm still about 17lbs from my goal weight, and my hubby won't for lack of better words, throw me a bone in the form of a compliment. I hosted a shower for my sis-in-law Sunday and just about every cousin, friend, and relative noticed and said something sweet.

What gives? I mean surely going from 173-160 looks a lot different. And then he says stuff like "well why lose more, you're gonna have to buy new clothes." Seriously? Why can't some people be more supportive?

Sorry to rant, it's just bugging me. I mean, he's not the most sensitive guy out there and I guess I knew that when we got married 12 years ago.

UGGGGH.

Replies

  • JasonSwetland
    JasonSwetland Posts: 235 Member
    Print this out, Highlight the parts: "my hubby won't for lack of better words, throw me a bone in the form of a compliment" and "going from 173-160 looks a lot different. And then he says stuff like "well why lose more, you're gonna have to buy new clothes." Seriously? Why can't some people be more supportive?"

    Then in Handwritting write: "Dear Honey, I am not a dude, I need you too not ignore my hard work or dismiss it. I need attention paid by you too my success even if you dont care. Give me a compliment right now and start paying attention to me and my hardwork or you will be sleeping outside tonight. Love, Wifey."
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
    In his defense, he presumably sees you every day, so a 13-pound difference might be hard to notice. I know it would be on myself, at least until I was wearing clothes that were too big (that used to be tight).

    Some people have a problem complimenting others, too, so that part I wouldn't take personally.

    However, saying that you should stop losing weight so that you don't have to buy new clothes? If my husband had said that, I would have let him have it. You'd be surprised at what you can get for your money. I know a lot of people who shop at Goodwill and the Salvation Army and get great deals on nice clothes! Also, people on Craigslist are often selling lots of clothes (I mean lots, as in groups of clothes) for cheap. You can also sell your old clothes that way, or just donate them and get the tax write-off.

    Your husband may very well be projecting his insecurities on you. Don't let it get to you!
  • soniyamas
    soniyamas Posts: 160 Member
    Print this out, Highlight the parts: "my hubby won't for lack of better words, throw me a bone in the form of a compliment" and "going from 173-160 looks a lot different. And then he says stuff like "well why lose more, you're gonna have to buy new clothes." Seriously? Why can't some people be more supportive?"

    Then in Handwritting write: "Dear Honey, I am not a dude, I need you too not ignore my hard work or dismiss it. I need attention paid by you too my success even if you dont care. Give me a compliment right now and start paying attention to me and my hardwork or you will be sleeping outside tonight. Love, Wifey."

    :laugh:
  • robinrkirkland
    robinrkirkland Posts: 26 Member
    I agree you need to talk to your hubby and tell him you understand he loves you the way you are but you want his support. I think communication is the key to success of every relationship even the things that you don't want to say to avoid an argument should be said just try to find a nice way of saying it instead of blowing up. Guuuuuaaad I need to listen to my own advice lmao!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    I have dropped 13lbs, and I'm still about 17lbs from my goal weight, and my hubby won't for lack of better words, throw me a bone in the form of a compliment. I hosted a shower for my sis-in-law Sunday and just about every cousin, friend, and relative noticed and said something sweet.

    What gives? I mean surely going from 173-160 looks a lot different. And then he says stuff like "well why lose more, you're gonna have to buy new clothes." Seriously? Why can't some people be more supportive?

    Sorry to rant, it's just bugging me. I mean, he's not the most sensitive guy out there and I guess I knew that when we got married 12 years ago.

    UGGGGH.
    Could also be that he sees you every day and subtle changes don't get noticed. Like watching your kid grow up.
  • h3h8m3
    h3h8m3 Posts: 455 Member
    Before I got serious about losing weight I wasn't very supportive about my wife losing weight... not because I'm a jerk, but because I didn't want to suggest that she NEEDED to lose weight. By making a big deal about her losing weight I felt like I would be saying that she had a problem before. I FELT like me not saying anything about it was saying that I thought she was beautiful before and beautiful now.

    I can now see how that thought process was wrong. Going through my own weight-loss journey has changed a lot of my perceptions about this stuff.
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