Grief and living a healthy life style

mrsjohnston0321 · August 21

how does one manage grief when trying to create a healthy lifestyle?

I start my health journey months ago but very recently lost my dad. I have been struggling with staying on track since his loss.
I manage to eat salads, fruits and whole grains along with drinking 64 oz of water a day.
However, night time is a different story.
I find myself gravitating to comfort foods like snack cakes that my husband buys.
night time eating is a real struggle for me.
does anyone have any advice for me to help me stay the course when it’s so easy to throw in the towel?

How does one manage grieving with changing an unhealthy lifestyle?

🙏 thank you

Alatariel75 · August 22

Hi, welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my husband in April this year, and this is something I have had to work through as well.

First: be kind to yourself, you are hurting and grieving and the last thing you need is to be beating yourself up because of your choices in food.

Second: You don't have to not have the snack cakes. If they bring you a little spark of joy, make them fit your day. A snack cake or 2 in a day of veggies, whole grains, a decent amount of protein and fruit isn't going to ruin anything.

However, if they don't bring you joy, and the eating actually makes you feel worse (it does for me), then remind yourself that you are caring for yourself by not having them, and distract yourself - run a nice bath, buy some fancy tea, find a distraction that keeps your hands busy (I'm fond of jigsaws and Lego).

Third: As much as I hate to admit it haha, physical exercise does actually help me. It doesn't have to be sweaty or hard, just a gentle walk, a 20 minute yoga YouTube clip, it counts and can soothe the mind as well as keep you busy and distracted, and also I find that when I have done something for my body, it's easier to resist doing something that I feel will offset that.

And finally: Remember you don't have to do it all at once. You're going through a trauma, there's nothing that says right now needs to be the time that you reinvent yourself or change your lifestyle. Baby steps, and some days no steps at all, are fine too. Every single 'better' choice you can make helps, and if there are some not so great choices in there too, well, that's going to happen.

Take care of you.

elisa123gal · August 22

I'm so sorry about your dad. I know you realize no one would want you to take care of yourself, more than he would.

It sounds like you are doing a pretty good job during the day..and fall off at night.

Do you think you could appeal to your husband to keep snack cakes and sweets out of the house? Any foods that trigger you? Maybe he will comply and eat those things at work or out of the house.

You could also look at recipes and find a way to make a low calorie treat you could enjoy a few times a week and fit into your goals.

Simply look at what is tripping you up..and try to find a solution that will help you stay on track. God Bless

alexjohn001 · August 22

I’m really sorry for your loss. Grief takes a huge emotional toll, and it’s normal for it to affect your eating habits. Try to give yourself grace—healing and building new habits both take time. It might help to plan comforting but healthier night-time options (like fruit with yogurt, herbal tea, or a small portion of something you enjoy) so you don’t feel deprived. Also, focus on consistency, not perfection—what you’re already doing with water and balanced meals is a strong foundation. Most importantly, allow space for grief; gentle routines, journaling, or talking with someone supportive can help you process while staying on your health journey.

alexjohn001 · August 22

I’m really sorry for your loss. Grief takes a huge emotional toll, and it’s normal for it to affect your eating habits. Try to give yourself grace—healing and building new habits both take time. It might help to plan comforting but healthier night-time options (like fruit with yogurt, herbal tea, or a small portion of something you enjoy) so you don’t feel deprived. Also, focus on consistency, not perfection—what you’re already doing with water and balanced meals is a strong foundation. Most importantly, allow space for grief; gentle routines, journaling, or talking with someone supportive can help you process while staying on your health journey.

westrich20940 · August 22

Grief is a wild ride. I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said - be kind to yourself and if you want a snack cake, have it. I'd try to have it with something else that is more nutritive (like fruit or veggies). I'd also highly suggest going for a walk each day it's sunny outside. Fresh air, vitamin D and exercise can help. Exercise can be highly effective at lower symptoms of depression. I know it's hard…but even just getting out for a 10 min walk in the sun and being consistent with that can start to help. I also think having a good actual ugly cry every now and then can help. It's kind of in our society to keep that stuff hidden, but it's really important to actually let your body feel that sadness and get it out. Also might consider speaking to someone like a counselor, therapist, or religious leader if you're religious.

DiscusTank5 · August 24

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's passing. Others have given such good advice that I can only reiterate that little walks and little treats, talking to a friend, etc are helpful. Be kind to yourself!

yakkystuff · August 25

Grief can be intense, in wabes, sometimes easier... hot baths, early to sleep, funny movies or movies to cry with. Snuggles with people or furbabies, a box of kleenix and the photo album, good talk with a loved one.

I started breaking my food up into 4 meals, breakfast, lunch early diner and a snackish later dinner. It helped.... and I stopped when those urges eased off...

Either way, give yourself lots of extra tlc self-care - it always takes way longer than we think it should... ♡

rudyzenreviews · August 25

I’m so sorry for your loss . Grief makes healthy changes feel heavier, so please be gentle with yourself. Try small swaps at night like fruit with yogurt or herbal tea to comfort without derailing progress. Healing takes time, and showing up for yourself, even in small ways, is still a win. don't take stress so much. you should take care yourself no one can do it..

PattyRos3 · September 12

Grief makes healthy changes so much harder, so give yourself grace. You’re already doing amazing with your water and balanced meals. For night cravings, maybe try keeping comforting but healthier options on hand, or ask your husband to tuck snacks out of sight. Progress over perfection you’re healing in more ways than one. 🙏

Unknown · September 15

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Grief and living a healthy life style

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