Perpetually getting started and I'm not going to give up.

A few things to remember:

• It's the average over multiple days that really matters. One over-goal day doesn't derail the train.
• If we eat above goal calories, but below our current weight-maintenance calories, we can still expect to lose weight. It's just that it'll happen slower.
• What time we eat has little or no impact on weight loss, despite all that internet foofaraw about eating at night being a terrible thing because "it all goes to fat". (It doesn't.)
• Nutrition is important for health, but it's the calories that matter for weight loss. Yes, nutrition can have an indirect effect: If fiber and protein help us feel more full and happy for longer, we're likely to consume fewer calories. If good nutrition gives us more energy, so we have a great exercise session or hit some high-effort home projects out of the park, thus we'll burn a few more calories than usual.
• It's what we do most of the time on average over the majority of days that really counts. A rare day is a drop in the ocean. The totality of life is the ocean. That makes routine habits the power tool for weight loss. If we can find new, positive routine habits that are pretty easy to sustain, that's nearly magical.
• Our new habits need to fit our personal preferences, strengths, challenges and lifestyle. Early in the weight loss process, we'll need to experiment. Not all experiments succeed, and that's OK. As long as we keep chipping away, coming up with new tactics to try, we can figure it out. It sounds like you might need some tactics to handle "BF cooks yummy high cal foods late in day", maybe. Think about it: Can you predict his cooking days, eat light earlier? After it happens, can you take a longer walk the next day to burn a few extra calories? (I'm just using that as an example; maybe it's not frequent.) You don't need tactics that exactly balance to the slightest detail, because . . .
• Generally: Being pretty good on average the majority of days will deliver results. Being perfect every day: Not gonna happen, if you're a regular human like me. That's OK, too.

Best wishes!