To All Newbies or Anyone who is Frustrated!

I would first like to say that i have grown exttemely fond of MFP and the many people here that give support and help to keep you motivated and going each and everyday, and for that, Thank you!

I wanted to write this post today because i was feeling especially good about myself, even though i have many life problems going on right now that i feel i have no answers for, but one thing is for certain....I am taking care of me, exercisng, eating right and losing weight and i am feeling like a new woman, no matter what else bad is going on in my life right now...I'm making "ME" a priority!

I started this journey back in November 26th 2010 weighting 315lbs. I was miserable, down and out, i had just found out that my exhusband had a new girlfriend whom he is now married too, it all seemed to happen so fast. divorced, one month later, new girlfriend, then 10 months later after divorce, he is remarried. Anyway, after i found out about the new gf, it was on Thanksgiving, i was so upset, hurt and angry that right then and there i made my mind up to lose this weight once and for all! I was tired, tired of being fat and miserable and i didn't want to be left behind anymore and i also wanted to live again and not just exsisit! Life has been one big blur for the last 20 years of my life and something needed to change, I needed to change, it was just time and i knew it. So i surfed around on the internet that night in tears, looking for a weightloss site that i felt could help me and get me motivated as i couldn't wait for that night to be over i was ready for tomorrow to begin...i was so angry i even went out for a semi jog, thats how serious i was about getting started, and i was!

Finally, i found my life line, MFP....how thankful i was and am today for this support system, someone was looking out for me and had answered my prayers. So i took full advantaged and buckled down and got on a program of eating healthy and exercisng. Almost 11 months later, 96lbs down, still have another 59lbs to go but that doesn't even phase me because i'm just going to do it and succeed and reach my ultimate goal, something i have never done before with all my years of dieting, this time would be different and some how i knew it.

when i first started MPF, i would come to the message boards a lot and read tons of post to get inspired and stay motivated, i remember always looking at peoples weightloss tickers and thinking, "WOW. i wish i was at a 59, 69, 85lbs or whatever loss""! It seemed like it would take me forever to get where some of these poeple already where and at times i felt a bit dishearted and got depressed thinking, "gosh, i have so much weigh to lose, it will never happen", well, here i am today and my ticker look pretty good i believe and when i look at how much weight i have lost so far, i am certainly inpressed with myself, sometimes, i am even in disbelief at how far i have come.

In all honesty, it has not been an easy journey, i have had my fair share of falling off the wagon, i have a severe addiction to Ben & Jerry's icecream" Heath Toff Crunch" to be exact and it is a big downfall for me. I was doing great untill about my 8th month, then i really started slacking, i wasn't losing any weight but i was up and down with 8lbs, so annoying...lol. I probably could have been down another 20lbs or better if i wasn't slacking for almost 2 months and yes, i felt bad about it, but i realized that maybe i just needed a break, a break to see that going back down that road was not what i wanted to do or where i wanted to be. It may have taken me 2 months to realize that i wanted to reach my goal and be healthy and love myself like never before, as i have always been insecure. Yes, 2 months lost but also 2 months of realization that the old way of life wasn't what i wanted to go back to, feeling miserable from over eating and bingeing didn't feel good, so once again i refocused and made the decision to get back on track and follow through. It was tough but i cracked the whip on myself and now i am back on track and losing weigh steadily once again and it feels so great, nothing feels better. i have since, loaded up 3 bags of clothes that are too big and no longer fit and i'm still clearing out clothes that are too big, pretty soon, my closet will be empty but i don't care, i will worry about affording new clothes when the time comes.

So for you newbies and all of you who are having trouble staying focused and on track, please know that we all go through it and what's important is that you continue to get back up and on the wagon, everyday is a new beginning to eat healthy and exercise and know that even if you do slack, all is not lost...just keep going and keep coming here for support that we all so desparately need! MFP has been my life line and will continue to be even after i reach my goal because i know, i can't do it alone.

I wanted to share my story in hopes that many of you will know that you are not alone and to try and give back some inspiration and motivation. I come here for motivation and inspiration everyday, never will there be a day when i don't need it anymore. This program works if you work it!

I would love to share my pictures, but i'm not really ready just yet to do that. Eventually i will, if i can figure out how to post them....lol, i know many have trouble and i would most likely fit into that catagory. I hope today that by writting this long post, that i have helped someone out there in need and who is frustrated or feeling like it's never going to happen for them. Also by doing this, it helps me to stay on track and focused as i still have a ways to go and Ben & Jerry's call my name an awful lot!

Peace and happiness to all.

"Believeing Is Seeing"
Denise