WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2025
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Lordy im such a weenie
I woke up at 6:30 thinking it was morning time ,only to find out its still nighttime…im losing it.
Lisa i missed the picture of your fridge
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Cycling and then hacking up the grass with my mattock.
More hugs Tracey. They have put themselves in a bad situation and probably thought no one would find out.
Machka in Oz
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Oh Tracey! What a horrible, horrible, business. All you can do is take care of yourselves.
Sue's visit going well. She's off this morning to the seafront to do a Parkrun. She will walk there, walk the run, and walk back. 6 miles in all.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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On changing the brain … Lisa, when you introduced me to the book "The Body Keeps the Score", you commented about trauma changing your brain. Yes, it absolutely would have.
However, thankfully neuroplasticity can help.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s capacity to continue growing and evolving in response to life experiences. Plasticity is the capacity to be shaped, molded, or altered; neuroplasticity, then, is the ability for the brain to adapt or change over time, by creating new neurons and building new networks.
The ability of the brain to change and grow in response to experience enables people to bounce back from setbacks and adversity—to be resilient. They can bend without breaking.
The disruption of neuroplasticity by severe stress or adversity is characteristic of such conditions as depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. There is quite literally a loss of synapses. In those disorders, people get stuck in neural ruts of negative thinking/feeling/behaving or fear-based memories.
All psychotherapy is intended to foster resilience; the goal is to help people examine distressing feelings and experience and redirect them into more functional patterns, restoring cognitive and behavioral flexibility.
Can I rewire my brain?
Sometimes it’s difficult to develop new habits, thought patterns, or social skills—even if we want to. But a few concrete steps can help rewire responses that seem to be entrenched in the brain. First, label the response you want to change. Second, identify the new response that you want to develop. Third, explore what factors might reduce the unwanted response and boost the desired response. Lastly, repeatedly practice the new response so that it becomes ingrained.I've done quite a bit of reading about neuroplasticity since my husband's accident in 2018 which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury.
I think many times we don't give our brains enough credit. They are truly amazing.
For example, by the time I graduated high school, I was convinced I could not do math. My math grades were very poor. My math teacher told me time and again that I could not do math. My father, who is very good at math, despaired of me ever learning math. Others told me it was OK because women often couldn't do math so the fact that I couldn't do math was to be expected. My brain's network was well convinced I couldn't do math.
So I did a lot of things that weren't math and kept telling myself that I couldn't do math.
Almost a decade after high school, I decided to go back to school to become an Engineering Technologist. I knew there would be math involved, and that was scary, but I wanted to give it my best effort and either find out if that it was really true that I could not do math or discover that I could.
I had a teacher who taught math a completely different way and to my amazement, not only could I do math, I nailed all the math and math-related classes with 100%. That math included all sorts of trigonometry and everything .
A couple years later I returned to school to get my Business Administration diploma majoring in Accounting and discovered I could do accounting and business math too - calculating interest, creating what-if scenarios, cost accounting and so on.
I rewired the circuitry. I can do math!
For the longest time I couldn't type. I kept trying through high school and after. I did improve marginally but not enough that I would be able to put "typing" on my resume.
One of the requirements for graduation from the Business Administration diploma was that I produce three consecutive typing tests with a result of 50 wpm or more. In the first month, I had typing classes every day during which time, I got up to doing 25 wpm relatively consistently. But 50? That was a long way off! After that first month, I was on my own for the remainder of the year - no more formal typing classes. But I kept working at it and working at … and of course rewiring my brain … and in the 12th month of the course, I got my three consecutive typing tests of 50 wpm. Since then I've been able to hit as much as 70 wpm and if I worked at it, I'd possibly do more.
Knowing that the brain can be rewired opens up all sorts of possibilities!!
And that's one of the reasons why I keep trying new things like learning to fence, learning to swim, etc. etc.
In my husband's case, I was told that he would be unable to do so many things and there are quite a few things he has difficulty with because whole sections of his brain were destroyed. But he can still learn … his brain can still rewire.
Rewiring is mainly about repetition. If we do things the same way all the time or if we tell ourselves the same things all the time, those are going to be the strongest neural pathways. But if we start doing things differently or if we start telling ourselves a different story, the former neural pathways will weaken and new stronger ones will develop.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006899325002021
Machka in Oz
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Allie - If you press the drop down arrow and then select the link in the quote below, you'll see the painting. You can also go back to page 4 and it's near the end of the page.
Cheers!
Lisa in AR4 -
Machka - Well done, well done, on your ability to walk through (and love) the math. Demonstrated the brain retraining when I went back to college at age 35. I decided if I was going to go to a relatively poorly-rated school, I was going to get the best possible reputation out of it, so I went to the Honors College and said, "What do I need to do?"
The absolutely wonderful dean of the college outlined it for me - and then when I passed the first hurdles and decided I wanted to build my own degree in Writing and Interpersonal Communication, he helped me build a map to do that, and helped find me my bachelor's thesis advisor.
I had NO math coming out of high school 18 years prior, and I still had to get through 300-level calculus to graduate summa, so I started the runup with algebra 101 and took five straight semesters of math, including two summer sessions. I had no idea I was working with my brain's neuroplasticity, I just did what was necessary to graduate the way I chose to.
Had I wanted to go one more semester, I could have graduated with a minor in mathematics!
I will say, though, I promptly lost every last vestige of the ability to do complex math once I accomplished what I wanted to! 😂 It was unnecessary in my chosen career, so I threw it overboard the moment I could.
Lisa in AR
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Tracey I know it is hard to see right now you have made progress in getting done what needs to be done for your MIL. The most important thing she is now in a safe place. You are being smart and documenting everything they are saying and doing. As far as those loans go what they did is fraud. They are acting in vicious ways because they have been caught. If they call now I would say talk to my lawyer and not give them room to hurt your MIL any further. Another tactic is to record any calls they make to you. I would try that as long as you do not rise to any of their bait. They are desperate and do not know how to be kind only to lash out. MIL had taken enough abuse from them as have you! I am glad they do not live close by for your sake!
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🌻🌞🎶🐾🏡
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Tracey - Those who treat people like Rodger's mama has been treated seem to often believe they are entitled to steal whatever they choose. And don't you love people like the son who are willing to put their threats in writing? They're my favorite. I know this is stressful, but at least the message has finally been delivered. What's funny, while not being very funny, is that they think you should pay for storage—probably so they can steal everything in her house and have a place to keep it until they can sell it off. They call that "bumptious" in the south.
I don't think I'll ever understand people like that. Honestly, they work harder at being criminals and just in general awful, and end up getting less out of it, than they would if they just went out and got a dang job. I would bet that your little MIL is sitting there worried about what's going to happen to them, as well. I hate that, both for y'all and for her. November 20th can't happen soon enough, I know. Thinking about all of you, kiddo.
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Chilly morning, but warming up fast - still got a freeze warning on for tomorrow night into Monday morning, but then supposed to warm right back up again.
Corey's gotten most of his eating tomatoes to the point where they have a little blush on them, so the raised bed plastic covering was worth it. The last of them (I think) are now ripening on the window sill. Still got peppers going, though.
The windows aren't as dirty as it looks, just the angle of the sunshine is blowing up the glare. I need to get the screens replaced on these windows, too. This is two of the four oldest ones, single glazed windows, where the screens only cover the bottom half. If not today, then when the freeze has come and gone, I think I'll get the screens off, get the windows washed (they are a little dirty), and the screens replaced.
Fascinating life, isn't it? 😂🤷🏻♀️👀
Later, my dears,
Love,
Lisa in AR8 -
14751475
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From 100th birthday party!
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Tracey … I've typed and deleted several times now. I shared what's happening to your MIL with my 94 yo mom … she started crying. We are both hurting for all of you. Prayers and hugs.
Lisa … I love a big windowsill! I don't think yours look dirty, but your photo reminded me that my windows ARE dirty and today would be a good last chance to wash them as we're expecting snow on Monday!
Machka … I have to have a house with a lot of windows and light for my mental well-being. Just a note … don't wait too long for hearing aids. Your brain will have less loss to adapt too when you do get the aids if you go earlier as opposed to later. Speaking from experience.
My son helped me develop a strength training program and I'm also using old exercises to rehab my knee. I am feeling it! Also changing up my meals and choosing more protein. It's only week one, but I do feel better.
Off to clean those windows!
Beth near Buffalo
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100% agree Barbie! We DO deserve PEACE! MY GOD, that walk sounds amazing! You were Blessed!
OMGosh, Melanie. Those danged parents... ya raise'em for 50+ years and what do they do? Go rogue on ya! They always know better. Hope the docs and home health can get Dad's meds straightened out soon.
So sorry about your sister and prayers that they found the C early.Tracey, it's what women do! (or don't) We're always taking care of everyone else and never asking for help. I just told this story to my GFs at dinner the other night. Walmart comes to the door with 13 bags of groceries and I get them up the stairs by juggling them three bags on this step, two bags on that one, etc., etc., etc., and move them all up slowly but surely until everything is at the top and then move everything into the kitchen and then unpack because I cannot do the stairs three, four, five times. Freddy comes home from wherever, with three bags of groceries and askes for "a little help down here" because he can't make it up the stairs in one trip?!? I COULD make it up the stairs in one trip with three bags!!! Come'on!!!
I'm really glad that your friend and daughter are finally helping you out, whether by request or realization. I know you will feel such weight off your shoulders once all MIL's belongings are settled in your home and the legal battles are taken care of. You're worried about things you don't know and that's the worst, since you already know the devil you do.
And what happened last night just proved that. I am SO sorry. You knew that would happen when they really, truly figured out that she was staying put and they were going to be "shut out". You knew it, in your heart, that they were going to get ugly, but it doesn't help when it proves out. I am sorry that they couldn't hold their tongues, especially to an elderly woman that did nothing TO them. It IS their own fault.
YOU are correct, the RCMP need to be there, to make sure that people are protected and that they KNOW you mean business.
Now... my personal opinion. Now that they've said their peace, you never allow them to speak to her again. Ever. They should never be allowed to treat her that way again. You have her best interests at heart and they do not. They've proved it again and they're out. But, that is my opinion.
We're all your prayer warriors in the background. Know that we got your six!Lisa, you are one for the books. Totally proud of everything you've learned to do lately. Now a screen replacement! Love that uh, measurement/area thing came around quickly. Well done. hehehe.....
Again, sending love and light out to everyone who needs it. Happy weekend!
Love and Blessings
Carla, in MN7 -
Going to get ready in a bit to go out for birthday dinner. I'm going to wear my 'Gwendolen' twinny dress with my sparkly necklace and earrings. Silver boots. DSIL and John are watching rugby downstairs, while I have been watching a TV programme in my bedroom. I will go down at 5 for margaritas and olives with Sue. John will have the Old Fashioned I bought him for his birthday, with crisps. John will wear his new sweater. He wore it a lot on the cruise for dinner. Looks fabulous.
He has been having a lot of trouble with the hemorrhoids. Pain around the middle of the day mainly.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Made it home after a horrific drive through a snow storm that was not predicted the night before. I think the weather people just look out the window and guess.
Ate horribly yesterday. Feeling the aftermath today- guts very uncomfortable, listless, foggy brain. Why do I eat the stuff that makes me feel so terrible?! For a couple of minutes of a good taste?! That, Machka, is the part of my brain I am trying to rewire. I KNOW that I give into the old pathways I have developed. I am working on creating some new ones- it's not easy as the brain wants easy and comfortable. But I want something different and I am working on getting it. Brain plasticity is pretty cool. We can continue learning and changing throughout our lives. Being stuck is a choice.I bought some Pop Rocks from the candy store in Fernie for my DGS. Watching his expression when they started to pop in his mouth was priceless. I haven't seen them around in years. Also got a variety of cow tails.
Tracey- all I can say is 🩷 What horrible people. I can't even begin to imagine what her life would have been like had she had to stay there.
Lisa- seeing the hummingbirds at the feeder will never be the same for me again 🤣
Michele- unfortunately with feline old age usually kidney issues follow. But boy, what an age she has reached! Royal Canin has great products to help slow the progression.
Heather- my sister gets PRP (plasma rich protein) injections into her knees and says they are very helpful. They take your blood, spin it down, then inject the anti- inflammatory components back into the joint. Pretty cool. I used it in horses and it works well if the condition is amenable to it.
Carla- OK!! So I have always said that grocery bag hauling should be an Olympic sport. How many you can carry on each arm and how far, over obstacles like stairs and dogs and whatever else the family has dropped and left in your path. I shop about once every 2 weeks for 6 people for most meals and there is never anyone around to help me unload. Lots is stored downstairs so lots of stairs. It definitely gets my steps in.
Take care of yourselves 💕
Melanie, Alberta
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Melanie - what a visit with your dad and sister. Wow. Glad you spotted the problem with his blood thinners and kicked into action. I wonder if elders, when they get toward the end of their lives, don't realize how severe their health problems really are or keep them intentionally hidden, hoping their end comes quickly. Not saying this is your dad's case. My dad was so forlorn after mom passed. Almost 3 months to the day, he had a stroke and died a couple days after. The docs said he "forgot" to take blood thinners. I wonder. Sorry to hear about your sister's cancer and hope the surgery isn't too difficult for her.
Tracey - I think Margaret and Lisa and Carla offered some good insight. I'm so thankful you had the foresight to get the legal documents done and the authorities notified. I was wondering what the reaction would be from daughter and granddaughter, and it's as I thought it would be. I doubt there would have been an easy way to get MIL disentangled from the situation, and the "tough love" you kicked into action, while painful for everyone involved, was the best way to save MIL and give her a better life. MIL is safe with you, and she'll finally have someone who takes her interest in heart to help manage her finances.
I just started reading another book on Kindle Unlimited that is eerily a similar situation, except it's a couple nursing home employees who are forging signatures on resident's social security checks or somehow stealing the funds, weaseling their way into some of the resident's other finances, keeping the old folks in very shoddy conditions. I'm not far enough into the book to see if the crooks also had the residents get life insurance policies naming them as beneficiaries - some people have been murdered, so maybe that's where it's going.
Lisa - look at those tomatoes! You've got me starting to think about sticking a tomato plant or two in my little greenhouse/hoop house next year. Which is currently firewood storage, but I could make room for a couple buckets. I moved the basil plant I had here in the kitchen to one of the shelves there a month ago, and it's doing well even though we've had some temps dipping into the low 30's. Thank you for the inspiration. Good job on the math, by the way.😉
Michele - I use my crockpot a lot, and it generally soaks clean quickly in a few minutes with hot water and a little soap. Maybe I make different recipes than you do which take hard scrubbing. I also grease the pot beforehand with coconut oil or olive oil, even butter sometimes. I'd love to see a photo of your new deck some day. 😁
Restaurant Coffee & home cooking - Well, you can tell I don't go out to eat much. I never order coffee or tea at a restaurant, but noticed when I had breakfast with D the other day, coffee is now $3.25 per cup. Unlimited refills of course. I'm making a pot roast this weekend, so pulled down my old Better Homes and Gardens cookbook published in 1968 - even though I know the recipe by heart. Leafed through it just for giggles and mentally calculated what some of these dishes would cost if made today. Unless they contained a lot of beef or expensive meats, most came out to around $1.00 per serving.
Tuna Noodle Casserole - Does anyone remember tuna noodle casserole? One of my favorites as a kid and mom often used the spiral macaroni in place of the noodles. It contained a can of drained tuna, the macaroni, a can of cream of mushroom soup with a little milk to thin it and a can of drained peas. Mix and put into buttered casserole dish. Sprinkle some cracker crumbs on top. Bake at 350F for probably half an hour. I'd eat some right now if it was in front of me and just ignore the carbs. I might have to make some one of these days and just up my walking.😁
Sunshine here, at least so far today. Everything is still wet and might not dry off until April, lol.
Make it a fabulous weekend ladies. 🤩
Lanette😎
SW WA State
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🙄
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14761476
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Afternoon all
Im just hanging out with Siri,and fighting a UTI ugh…not fun
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Lanette - We love tuna casserole. I make it and split it in half, half with frozen peas for me, half with mushrooms for my DH. We always melted Velveeta cheese on top growing up.
Okie in the TX Hill Country8 -
Today, after ramen yesterday for lunch and the leftovers for dinner in some of my chicken stock I woke up to a 1.4 lb gain. I kind of expected it. Its a cause and effect deal, I I need to understand that. In the reheating chicken stock can marry with pork stock right? I put a little spoonful of bacon fat as their consummation and it wasn't half bad. I had also ate most of the veggies (bamboo shoots, shiitake mushrooms, spinach) so at dinnertime I simmered small baby bok choy as the veggie. At lunchtime I asked for double pork pieces and another 1/2 ramen egg. That was my protein for the day.
Heres what the Tonkatsu bowl looked like.
Today working on more chicken stock for the freezer and my pile of Christmas cards. Mostly working on ones that are internationally stamped. 👍🏼
Hugs ladies
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Tracey: they’re a piece of work, to be sure! You’re a godsend to that little lady,
Still reading along. Nothing else to add to what has already been said
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.🙋♀️ céad míle fáilte to our newbies
☘️ Terri
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Melanie .. the one on SeaStars is way too much fun.
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Restaurant Coffee & home cooking
- Well, you can tell I don't go out to eat much. I never order coffee or tea at a restaurant, but noticed when I had breakfast with D the other day, coffee is now $3.25 per cup. Unlimited refills of course.
I had a bit of a chuckle at that.
A large coffee (a decent sized mug of coffee) is at least $5 here and can go up to about $8 depending on the ambiance of the place. No refills … they're unheard of here!
I drink a long black … 2 shots of espresso and water to fill the mug. Fortunately that's strong enough to stand a spoon straight up, glue my eyelids open, and set off heart palpitations so I have never felt the need to have a second mug.
Machka in Oz
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Margaret - Rodger said last night that he just keeps telling himself she safe and all the rest is just noise. He’s hurting for her though. I think he’s also worried about me.
Lisa - Thanks so much, I’ll post some pics of her new room.
I won’t share pics of the rest of my house right now. 😂😂
Lauryn is coming back tomorrow to help some more.Beth - I can’t believe we are in the middle of this. Rodger actually told me his was sorry for bringing me into his family the other day. I told him I’m 100% not sorry.It’s such a sad thing, unfortunately from talking to people it’s not so uncommon.
I love a bright room as well, I even leave my living room curtains open in the evening to see the lights outside.
Carla - my daughter and friend helped as soon as I asked. I didn’t want to start this until she decided on her own to stay, when she finally admitted to us she was staying I put out the call and they answered.
Everyone I’ve needed help from has been remarkable. Kaitlyn told me tonight that she’s glad I have “my ladies” that’s how I refer to you all. I’m so grateful for all of you too.
I wish I could just block them all and be done with it, but that’s another form of control over her and I’m not doing that. They will be free to call her, if they choose to. I think she’s decided not to call them though.Heather - I hope you had a lovely dinner and wonderful birthday celebration for John. Hope he feels better soon.
Lanette - you are so right, there was not going to be an easy solution at all.
I remember my grandmother making tuna casserole, I didn’t eat at her house those nights and prayed my mother was cooking something I liked. They were usually pretty good about making sure one of them had something I would eat.We managed to get the room reorganized for MIL, the rest of the house is a mess yet but Lauryn is coming back tomorrow.
The picture over the dresser is her father’s camp and he also made the little cupboard set, we’re using as a nightstand, for Kaitlyn.I put a picture on the dresser of her MiL with Rodger and his sister when they were young and one of her dancing with Kaitlyn and Brodey at their wedding. Kaitlyn is getting more frames for me tomorrow and we’ll get them on Tuesday. I have pics on f her great grandchildren and I’ll put grad pics of the granddaughters her grandson didn’t graduate but I’ll find a photo of him.I will be moving the desk and chair. I need to move an old cast iron treadle sewing machine though first so the desk will fit in my room.
Michaela spent the night tonight. I have to get her settled, then I’m off to bed. I need to12 -
Tracey: Bless you, dear girl, you are making her room so homely. 🥰
Our temperature has risen again but with it come lots of rain. We are having occasional brighter periods.We will visit DED after lunch. This coming week I have an easy week: Monday Painters, flower arranging on Thursday and card making on Friday.
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ céad míle fáilte to our newbies
☘️ Terri
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Lovely chest of drawers, Tracey. I'm coveting it! 🤩 So sad though, that you have lost your craft room. How do you plan to work around that?
Our meal out at Petit Pois was wonderful. Just the right atmosphere, and the food was just what we were looking for. Something we don't eat/cook at home. I have been there quite a few times, but last night, Saturday night, was exceptional. I had snails, mussels, and stinky cheese. My perfect meal. 🤣 John had chicken liver parfait, mussels and fries, and crême brulée three ways. They brought out a Happy Birthday plate for him. Sue had French Onion Soip, mussels and fries, and stinky cheese with me. We shared. An excellent Muscadet to drink.
We came home and opened John's 40 year old Armagnac, a present from his elder daughter.
Sue is off this morning to her daughter's, and we have Edie this afternoon. The perfect weekend!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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A good evening.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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In the morning we went to a bee group meeting at an absolutely gorgeous property. Stunning house and amazing garden.
Inspired, I dug up grass in my garden for 3 hours.
Lisa — you continue to develop and rewire your brain every time you tackle another project: writing, your creative projects, something with the house. 😊😊
We try something … and maybe it doesn't go well or maybe we surprise ourselves and it does go well. Then we do it again, and again, and again. When we do that we create a neural connection and then make it stronger and stronger.
I think I'm doing a bit of that in the garden. I'm listening to other people talk about their gardens. I'm asking questions and looking up stuff on the internet and reading about different plants. I'm trying things - some successfully, some not so much. I'm dredging up memories of my Grandmother in her garden, trying to reconnect those neural connections, and remembering some of the things she told me.
Another thing I'm trying to do is to say "Thank you" for something that happened every day. Turns out, there's always something to be thankful for.
https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/
Machka in Oz
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Machka - I do wonder sometimes… but I was listening to a video of a respected psychologist talking about the difference between age-related changes in speech and memory—many of which can be improved by retraining your brain—and dementia. He noted that the person with actual dementia is the best today that they will ever be again, because it simply gets worse, not better. Learning new things is still possible for me, and I still enjoy it.
I will say I find some things quite frustrating, like the "tip of the tongue" syndrome, and Corey finding that I'd put my socks in his dresser drawer and so on. Other changes - I used to be unable to listen to music while I was working, but I find that music now actually makes it easier for me to concentrate on many of the things I'm trying to accomplish.
But then again, I have the little distractorator that we live with… This is an Egg progression, from left to right, and then left to right again, of "Good Egg, Good Egg, Bad Egg, Deviled Egg."
Later…
Lisa in AR8
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