More determined

Hi!Thank you for sharing all of this it really shows how much you care and how hard you’re trying. Early menopause, a slower metabolism, and working a desk job can make everything feel so much harder, so your frustration makes total sense. But the determination in your message is honestly powerful. You’re already making healthier choices, lowering your calories, and staying consistent with your fasting, even when things get tough that’s something a lot of people don’t manage to do.

A couple of small things that might help based on what you said:
With a desk job, even a few tiny movement breaks during the day can make a surprising difference. And with IF, sometimes just shifting the window or changing your first meal can help your body respond again.

Tracking really does bring clarity, and it sounds like you’re already on the right track with that.

You’re doing more right than you give yourself credit for. I’m sending you all the good juju and support you deserve to feel proud of yourself along the way, not just at the end.

By the way, have you found a routine that feels good for you yet, or are you still trying to figure out what works?

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I'll start with this: It's completely normal to drop weight in a satisfying way for the first couple of weeks, then stall. That doesn't mean fat loss has stopped. Often, we change our eating patterns, not to mention simply eat less food volume when we start. We possibly eat fewer carbs than before, and less salt/sodium, either of which required the body to hold onto water weight until they're metabolized. Less water retention, less waste in the digestive tract, some fat loss . . . big, satisfying scale drop at first.

Then, not always but often, the body will rebalance water retention after a couple of weeks-ish. In perimenopause or menopause, or with cycles still happening, this is even more likely. That increase in water retention masks continuing fat loss on the scale, if the calorie balance is causing fat loss. Water/waste fluctuations tend to be big (multiple pounds/kg) and can be quick within a day or over a few days. Fat loss - even fast fat loss - is smaller and slower. The water weight increase hides the fat loss.

I hear and understand your frustration: When we're working really hard, we want to see satisfying results quickly and steadily. The harder we're working, the more frustrating a seeming lack of progress can be. (This is often where and why people give up. Don't.)

Here's a thing, though: Trying really hard - cutting calories deeply for fast loss, maybe adding lots of new exercise - tends to increase water retention, making these pseudo-stalls more likely. Add that to the higher frustration because it's really hard, and giving up becomes even more likely. Like I said, don't do that.

If it's super hard, super frustrating . . . honestly, don't work at it quite so hard. Sometimes a more moderate plan, slower weight loss, will get a person to goal weight in less calendar time than an extreme "lose weight fast" plan. Why? Extreme tactics tend to cause deprivation-triggered bouts of over-eating, breaks in the action, or even giving up altogether. An easier plan makes consistently sticking with it more probable.

Menopause is complicated, and can have effects that make weight loss harder: Fatigue, poor sleep, maybe increased cravings, maybe gradual loss of muscle mass, more tendency for body fat to be in the belly area, and more.

But some of those things can be countered, and menopause in itself won't prevent weight loss.

Why do I say that? I'd been in menopause for around 15 years when I finally committed to the weight loss process, lost from class 1 obese to a healthy weight, and I've been at a healthy weight for around 10 years since. I'm not the only one here who could say something similar about losing weight in menopause. (I went into menopause from chemotherapy at around age 45, BTW - pretty early.)

Like I said, you can counter some of the effects of menopause: Gradually adding manageable but challenging strength exercise can rebuild muscle mass, and there are some studies suggesting it helps minimize that "fat settles in the belly" thing. Improving sleep quality/quantity may help, and one thing it may help with is increasing daily life (non-exercise) activity, burning more calories automagically because we're less fatigued.

Getting overall good nutrition is also a help, with particular importance to getting plenty of protein and fiber. I don't know what your overall eating patterns are, but it's not uncommon for women especially to lowball protein when trying to lose weight. That's not helpful. Too little protein can contribute to muscle loss alongside fat loss. Both protein and fiber are filling for most people, so getting enough of those helps stick with reduced calories.

If intermittent fasting helps you reach a reasonably moderate calorie deficit more easily, that's a great tactic for you. But if it's making things harder, and your key goal is weight loss, don't bother with a fasting schedule. There are ample studies showing that timing of eating has minimal to no impact on weight loss, when calorie intake is the same. (I didn't using any form of IF to lose around 50 pounds in just under a year.)

I'm saying this not to diss IF - it's fine, for those it suits, and some believe it has benefits other than weight loss. I'm saying this because it's in line with my belief that an easier-to-follow weight loss plan is likely to be a more successful plan.

I'm all for prayers and good juju: Anything that helps is good. Still, my experience is that some wily problem-solving, personalization of tactics, and patient persistence with the solid, sustainable plan that results, is a productive focus.

Best wishes!

P.S. Since you mention the desk job, I'm going to throw in this link. It's a thread where many MFP-ers share their ideas for adding movement to their day without it taking a bunch of added time from their schedule. This can cause a meaningful increase in daily calorie expenditure, and help counter the relatively small decreases in metabolism that can come with age.