The truth my Boyfriend amitted to me!!! :0( :0)

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AdymondNtheRuff
AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello all couple nights ago my bf admitted he loves my shape (he said it in the nicest way possible) that I need to tone up!!! :huh:

I have a problem; I had WLS in 2009 and am still trying to hit MY ideal weight of 170-160. FYI… my weight started at 265 and I now weigh 197lbs.: grumble: My bf is okay with my weight and size; he just wants me to tone. He Loves me though so I know he did not set out to hurt me. He fought me tooth and nail not to have the surgery :love:

So I started watching myself in every mirror I passed and I have noticed my butt (which I think is shaped okay for a sistah ) it does jiggle a lot when I walk, my stomach sags, I have that pocket under the bra and my knees could stand to be tapered... You would never notice it unless I wore something extremely form fitting.:noway: Could that be the problem??? He has never complained about what he sees exactly... I have just taking it upon myself and started critiquing and criticizing everything about my body. :grumble:

I am unable to workout hard right now because I had two toes broke on both feet but I am slowing getting around to moving more. :wink:

Because it is hard to build muscle due to having WLS (because that’s what you loose), what can I do or am I being delusional? :indifferent:

Replies

  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Perhaps a call to your bariatric surgeon, your bariatric nutritional counselor? I would think maybe a re-eval might be necessary....
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
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    i am sorry but i am not familiar with WLS, i agree w/ the previous poster about seeing the dr for an eval.
    as for your bf, i would kick his *kitten* if mine ever said anything to me about toning. :smile:
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    I think, weight loss surgery or no, you need to love your body. Maybe you could tone? but do not focuson the negatives. Be proud that the surgery has been working and that you have lost this much weight. pay attention to toning when you want to, not your boyfriend.
  • hooma
    hooma Posts: 124 Member
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    When you say your boyfriend "admitted" that you need to tone up, were you pressing him about it? I would indeed be pissed if my boyfriend gave unsolicited advice about my problem areas, but if I was pressing him about what he thought about my body and he finally "admitted" what he thought, I couldn't hold that against him! He was just trying to be helpful.
  • JWALL101
    JWALL101 Posts: 60
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    Hang in there! This weight loss thing is more mental than anything. So stay positive. We got you!
  • missy5277
    missy5277 Posts: 88 Member
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    I also had RNY in 2006 and i am sorry to say but the only way i have seen the "sagging" skin go away is with plastic surgery. I weight lift and still have the flappy tummy and saggy arms you just have to love yourself and be proud of the loss you had! At least your boyfriend was being honest when you asked, I was asking my husband the other day if he could tell ive lost 10lbs and his comment was "in the face" you cant be mad at your boyfriend when you ask for an honest answer.
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    Let me say... I did ask and he did not want to say but I asked him to be honest so NOOO, I dont hold it against him.

    This is my mental issue now.

    I am trying to figure out the best way to tone this fat and stop my *kitten* from jiggling so much!!! lol

    Thank u all so much for your comments!
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    Ja Wall...You are the best!!! I do cherish the fact I have came a long way!!! I do not look like I have had the sugery at all.
  • cloneme_losehalf
    cloneme_losehalf Posts: 356 Member
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    My sister had WLS and went to the gym, did zumba, P90X etc (at least an hour committed every other day). All my mom did was walk three miles a day. But from the people I have know personally having it done, if they are not exercising they do have the excess skin problems moreso than if exercising.
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    Perhaps a call to your bariatric surgeon, your bariatric nutritional counselor? I would think maybe a re-eval might be necessary....

    I do have an appt comming up!
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    My sister had WLS and went to the gym, did zumba, P90X etc (at least an hour committed every other day). All my mom did was walk three miles a day. But from the people I have know personally having it done, if they are not exercising they do have the excess skin problems moreso than if exercising.

    I do exercise for the most part so I must need to go hard at the Gym or go home...lol thank you!:flowerforyou:
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    i am sorry but i am not familiar with WLS, i agree w/ the previous poster about seeing the dr for an eval.
    as for your bf, i would kick his *kitten* if mine ever said anything to me about toning. :smile:

    Lol I feel you but i asked...hahahah!
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    I think, weight loss surgery or no, you need to love your body. Maybe you could tone? but do not focuson the negatives. Be proud that the surgery has been working and that you have lost this much weight. pay attention to toning when you want to, not your boyfriend.

    Your right thanks for your comment!
  • OneBKDiva
    OneBKDiva Posts: 82 Member
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    When you get back on your feet (literally) GO HARD!!! Do toning videos. Try to start running C25K... Fully focus your mind to reaching that goal!! You got this!!! Love you girl!!
  • queennahs
    queennahs Posts: 33 Member
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    If your boyfriend was giving you an honest assessment based on you asking him to, and it was given with care, then that's a good thing! It would be remiss of a real partner to not be honest.

    Cardio will get the fat burning off, however as for the toning, strength training has worked best for this endomorph. Lots of squats to build thigh strength for roller derby has toned my legs and lifted my ample *kitten*. I do them all the time, whenever I'm waiting for something eg. the laundry to finish, food to cook / defrost in the microwave, the kettle to boil. My middle is a shocker so I do core work like planks, crunches etc to pull it into shape. I've got nanna bye bye arms so I also do a lot of bicep and tricep work to stop them flapping in the breeze so much and it's definitely working. My boyfriend commented recently that my arms are definitely more defined, toned and a bit smaller. It was nice to have that feedback from him.

    You don't have to "go hard" with strength training as it's about controlling the motion on the way up and down and using the muscle. This has the added bonus of building your muscle mass, leading to your body burning more calories at rest and greater weight loss success in the long term.
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    If your boyfriend was giving you an honest assessment based on you asking him to, and it was given with care, then that's a good thing! It would be remiss of a real partner to not be honest.

    Cardio will get the fat burning off, however as for the toning, strength training has worked best for this endomorph. Lots of squats to build thigh strength for roller derby has toned my legs and lifted my ample *kitten*. I do them all the time, whenever I'm waiting for something eg. the laundry to finish, food to cook / defrost in the microwave, the kettle to boil. My middle is a shocker so I do core work like planks, crunches etc to pull it into shape. I've got nanna bye bye arms so I also do a lot of bicep and tricep work to stop them flapping in the breeze so much and it's definitely working. My boyfriend commented recently that my arms are definitely more defined, toned and a bit smaller. It was nice to have that feedback from him.

    You don't have to "go hard" with strength training as it's about controlling the motion on the way up and down and using the muscle. This has the added bonus of building your muscle mass, leading to your body burning more calories at rest and greater weight loss success in the long term.

    I thank you, for that this information i am printing it out...
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    When you get back on your feet (literally) GO HARD!!! Do toning videos. Try to start running C25K... Fully focus your mind to reaching that goal!! You got this!!! Love you girl!!

    Your are so helpful to me, I love you friend!
  • AdymondNtheRuff
    AdymondNtheRuff Posts: 108 Member
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    Bump!!!

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