Teenagers

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3ball
3ball Posts: 338
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I have a very soon-to-be 15 year old daughter. I only get to see her every other weekend, and 1 night per week. Lately, it's been pretty tough. Nothing but grouchy and attitude. Ugh.

She goes turkey hunting with me. She doesn't use a gun because she's afraid of them and doesn't like the kick. So she kind of got in to archery a bit. My dad and I teamed up to buy her a nice bow for her birthday last year. Now, she doesn't like that either because she thinks she sucks at it. Yet she still wants to go turkey hunting?

With that in mind, I arranged an archery lesson for her at a local club. So yeah, she pretty much hates me for that idea and we aren't going. WTF?

I can't win anymore with her. I'm beyond frustrated with what I get when she is here these days. I've kept that hidden so far, but this one really bugs me for some reason. Sorry to be a downer, but I just needed to vent a bit.

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  • Froggy1976
    Froggy1976 Posts: 472
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    Teenagers are difficult. I have a 14 year old also. He has his attitude days. It's just the age, all you can do is make sure she knows you love her and are there for her. She will come around.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    I feel you...I don't have teenagers, because I am 19! I'm going to be 20 in a few months, but I still hate teenagers even though I am one! However, my parents are divorced and my sister is 22. Growing up, both parents always told me that my sister was the more dramatic and less appreciative one. To this day, she still has such an attitude with my mom and just loves to instigate arguments. Me, on the other hand, yes, I will occasionally disagree with parents...who doesn't?! But nowhere near as bad as my sister. I hope it gets better! The older they get, just like me, the more they will realize how amazing their parents are, just like I have. :)
  • 1smemae94
    1smemae94 Posts: 365 Member
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    Just ask her what she wants. In all seriousness, tell her why you did what you did and ask why she dosent like it. It might be simple like her not liking archery anymore or maybe something else is going on in her life and its easier for her to turn her anger out on the sport or on you. just tell her that if theres anything she wants to talk about that you'll listen without judging. Shes lucky to have someone there for her that cares so much. That might be all she needs. Good luck!
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    I feel for you big time as my daughter is still giving me grief and she is 19. She lives away at uni and comes home most weekends, but when she is here it is drama upon drama. You are doing the right thing by keeping the door open, and it is wonderful she still wants to go hunting. My daughter says she sucks at most things, but finally I have got her going to the gym with me and she likes it. It is really tough going, and you certainly do not get out what you put in, it is often a thankless job, but worth it in the end.

    *hugs*

    GG
  • mjshmily
    mjshmily Posts: 137 Member
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    Teens are tough and I commend you for trying to remain a good active part of her life! I wish my daughter had the benefit of a male role model wometimes.

    Don't get frustrated too much by the scenario. I know I sometimes tend to push my kids a bit much thinking they like something when they are just getting their feet wet. Maybe archery really isn't her thing, but I bet the whole reason she wants to go turkey hunting is because she wants to spend time with you. It isn't about the hunting-it is because she loves you :-)

    That being said sometimes things like lessons are a bit intimidating for a teen, especially when they already feel inadequate at something. they don't want to stared at or judged. But those are just my thoughts.

    Enjoy the time that you have with her and every visit with an I love you and it eventually works out.
  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
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    . Yet she still wants to go turkey hunting?

    She still wants to spend time with you, so she goes hunting with you.
    Teenagers are hard...they are caught between being a grown up and wanting to stay little. Attitudes and hormones are running high....Gently ask her if something is going on at home or school...boys? friends? grades?...just keep being there for her, she knows that and loves you.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Dude...I have a 15 year old needing to be locked up from the boys...I feel your pain.

    Here's what I interpret what she wants....TIME WITH DAD.

    Are you involved with the archery lessons? If not, GET INVOLVED. If you know archery, take her to a range and teach her.

    Ever hear the song She thinks we're just fishing? If not do...and know that she understands she needs and values the time with her Dad.

    The grumpy part...she's becoming a woman...unfortunately, as dad's, we have to deal with more hormonal changes...SUCH JOY
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    She goes turkey hunting with me. She doesn't use a gun because she's afraid of them and doesn't like the kick. So she kind of got in to archery a bit. My dad and I teamed up to buy her a nice bow for her birthday last year. Now, she doesn't like that either because she thinks she sucks at it. Yet she still wants to go turkey hunting?


    So she doesnt want to shoot with a gun or use her bow in practice. May I offer a suggestion? I come from divorced parents where I had a weekend father whom I eventually moved in with..

    It looks like the point here is SHE STILL wants to go with you. I think you may be seeing the illogical side of a teen ager with the resistance with the gun and not the fact that she still wants to spend time with her dad. Sometimes you gotta weed through all the crap to find the gem.

    May I suggest you working with her and her bow instead of the lessons, that type of social pressure is awkward for a teen and spending time with her dad is what she looks like she may want.

    Or try a smaller caliber shot gun like a 20 gauge with a recoil reduction stock or something like maybe a mossberg or remington 870 in the express youth or express 20 gauge... Less recoil less shock....

    Just offering suggestions...
  • RJSuperMan
    RJSuperMan Posts: 52 Member
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    You just venting, or is there an indirect question you want an answer to? Not being a smartass, just don't want to offer an unsolicited opinion. I've got 15 and 16 year old daughters - one with me, the other not. Let me know....
  • cookc04
    cookc04 Posts: 71
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    Yep, that's teenagers for you.
    Don't give up on her, and don't reject her.
    She will be rude and grumbly until she is about 20 and then she will become a bit more normal and by the time she is 25 she'll be good company again.
    You can ask her what she wants - but chances are even that won't satisfy her.
    Good Luck
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
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    I have 5 kids ages: 19, 11, 8, and 5 yr old twins. Teenagers suck! All you can do is ride it out. Maybe going with you is just to spend some time with you. Try finding what she likes to do and do that with her. You may no like it, but you may be able to bond with her a little more. I hated going fishing when I was a kid, my father loved it. I went with him just to have one on one time with him. Buy some hair dye or rogaine, what ever you need, close your eyes and hold on. It does get better.

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