Respect the skinny people too!
erin2081
Posts: 368 Member
Someone recently made a post about a friend being critical of their healthy eating habits. Another commented about a "110lb coworker" commenting on her food choices.
I myself am close to that 110lbs, and make attempts (occasionally) to turn down unhealthy food from my....lets say 170lb coworkers (because the weight of the commenter apparently matters).
I'm just wondering....WHY is it that people who are overweight have all the freedom in the world to make comments on what I eat, and how much I weigh, but I am not allowed to comment on their weight or eating habits?
Why is it ok for people to say, "Have you gained some weight?" "You need to gain some weight!" "You're too skinny!" or "like you really need to eat healthy. Come ON." ??
Really. I mean, sometimes almost spitting, as if my choosing to eat healthy (or no) foods somehow disgusts them to the point of having to make faces while they talk.
Why is it that eating healthy food and/or watching your calories and exercising when you're not 50lbs overweight is somehow an open invite to make rude comments? You don't hear me walking around telling overweight people, "Have you gained some weight?" "You need to lose some weight!" "You're too fat!" or "You REALLY need to diet. Come ON."
I wish people would respect skinnies too.
I myself am close to that 110lbs, and make attempts (occasionally) to turn down unhealthy food from my....lets say 170lb coworkers (because the weight of the commenter apparently matters).
I'm just wondering....WHY is it that people who are overweight have all the freedom in the world to make comments on what I eat, and how much I weigh, but I am not allowed to comment on their weight or eating habits?
Why is it ok for people to say, "Have you gained some weight?" "You need to gain some weight!" "You're too skinny!" or "like you really need to eat healthy. Come ON." ??
Really. I mean, sometimes almost spitting, as if my choosing to eat healthy (or no) foods somehow disgusts them to the point of having to make faces while they talk.
Why is it that eating healthy food and/or watching your calories and exercising when you're not 50lbs overweight is somehow an open invite to make rude comments? You don't hear me walking around telling overweight people, "Have you gained some weight?" "You need to lose some weight!" "You're too fat!" or "You REALLY need to diet. Come ON."
I wish people would respect skinnies too.
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Replies
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Comical double standard that I could really care less about, but is really fun to talk about. Love your post. 0 -
When I commented on the post you were talking about, it was because of a so-called friend, who maybe weighs 140lbs... probably more like 130.... and she's never dieted in her life, but proceeded to criticize ME.... her FRIEND... for wanting to have a "cheat" meal.
In reality... it's not kosher for someone who's never had a problem with weight in their life to criticize, joke (no matter the situation), or try to belittle the person dieting when they're in a struggle to lose. Just like it's not right for someone to say, "Wow... that person's BIG...." especially if they don't know if there's a medical reason why they got heavy. People don't always just get big by eating anything they wish, but people automatically assume that if a person doesn't eat salads and fruits and veggies, the moment they put a chicken wing in their mouth, they're bound to gain 5lbs.0 -
im 50kg (110lb) and i get exactly the same thing. people are like you dont NEED to eat healthy youre already skinny. you dont NEED to work out youre already skinny.
makes me mad, eating healthy and exercising isnt a quick fix its something EVERYONE should do for the REST of their life!0 -
why do we have to say anything at all?!?! so what if ur skinny and other people are fat....some people think 110lbs is too skinny and the whole world thinks 170 is waaaaayyy too fat. lol where does that place me?!?! i'm not even included on the charts....who cares u do u and let the haters do their on thing. I will say this...yes i want to be skinny but not skinny to the point where i have bones sticking out all over the place...that's just not cute...for my height my maxium healthy weight is 150lbs so we'll see how that looks when i get there. The point is...everyone has their own views...if u look at yourself everyday and you're happy then u shouldn't let it get to you. You do what makes you happy not what makes the world happy. U have to live with you, sleep with you, dress you, and feed you, not the world. tell dem b*tches to stop hatin' and mind theirs. 0
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Because! that's why. (double standards suck no matter what the case)0
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but i will go on to say that you are starving yourself. eat food!0
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I'm in agreement 110%. My wife gets it all the time. She's 5'8" 116lbs and gets that crap all the time. It's stupid that if you say anything to an overweight person, they lose their sh**, but they have the INDECENCY to make judgements of ANYONE'S weight. The part that bothers me most about how overweight people treat naturally thin people, is the whole "REAL women have curves crap". Most of these women are severely overweight and the only way they curve is out, like this (____). I don't know if it's to make themselves feel better, but making ANY kind of comments like that against thin people is wrong. And it doesn't mean the thin woman is any less woman than the overweight woman.
Oh and I am/have been overweight so if this put a fire in anyone's belly and wants to fight me on it... Bring it. I'm not a thin person by any means but can still see the injustice.0 -
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*chuckle* Now, *I* LOVE this post! Don't get me wrong. I'm fat. I'm middle-aged. I'm short. I'm black. I'm a female in a male-dominated field. SUPPOSEDLY, this gives me the right to say whatever I want, by social standards. I also think that that assumption is a pile of bull. I'm sorry that people take their frustration and jealousy out on you, but maybe, if you look at their envious remarks as a kind of back-handed compliment and walk away with your head held high, YOU can feel better about it. Personally, I admire you for striving to keep healthy habits so that you DON'T end up like many of us, in the first place! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!0
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Dude, I hear you! My friend is 5'4" and weighs about 70 something lbs usually...she eats junk food because that's all she gets/can afford, but she actually prefers healthy food and EATS MORE THAN ME so no she doesn't have an eating disorder and I wish people would stop assuming that >.<0
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I never bring up weight in any conversation whether the person is thin or fat. Now deep down I am probably wanting to hate the thin person since I am fat but I know they are thin for a reason and I am fat for a reason. Like another poster said - Why say anything at all? Random comments about weight are wrong either way.0
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That was probably my post.. this is what I said
YES! Mine is a 110 pound co-worker! She has her two cents to add no matter what I am eating! She eats crap and then says things like one little cookie won't kill you. I also weigh and measure everything I eat. Like tonight I made a fruit and vege platter I went back and part of it is gone! She said I didn't think you would miss all that extra food! SMACK!
I never say anything to anyone about what or how they are eating. I think it is rude. If I was eating something my kids didn't like and they said ewww I would say "I don't say things about what you eat, please don't say things about mine." Now that is to my children...I'm allowed.
But she says things to me all the time! Anything I eat she has to comment on it. I usually just say thank you for that information and continue what I am doing. Tonight I had fruits and veges for dinner while she ate mozzarella sticks and french fries (ohhh and half of my plate too!) I never said a word to her...
So I am wrong to come here when someone asked if people made comments about their food and share my experience?0 -
It's how society is...blah, blah, blah. When I was small and cute my heavier sisters used to say they were going to "force feed me butter." They were kind of joking, but you know jealousy, insecurity. We like people to be as miserable as we are. Though, in all fairness, I really don't think fat people need to hear how fat they are--they may already have self esteem issues. You/we don't like it when someone tells us we should "eat more" either, but it us it's merely extremely annoying, it doesn't really make you feel bad (IME).
BUT YES, everyone should shut the heck up about other people's weights. It would probably help us all with our weight/body issues. Esp. the negative stuff, no one wants to hear it, we should all just respect each other.0 -
To be fair, I'm quite obviously overweight and people still make rude or snarky comments about my healthy food choices. Some people get REALLY offended when they see you eating healthy, like they expect you to start preaching to them at any moment. That being said, I never say such things to anyone. You eat what you want, I'll eat what I want.0
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Exactly. Back handed comments should be taken as a compliment. The person may not be judging you so much as judging themselves. Life's to short to worry about what anyone else thinks. I plan on eating healthy most of the time, but put that chicken wing in my face and I'll be licking your fingers, too. 0
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Someone recently made a post about a friend being critical of their healthy eating habits. Another commented about a "110lb coworker" commenting on her food choices.
Someone probably made a post like that because the "110 pound person" probably said something like, "You shouldn't eat that" to the heavier person.
Which is rude.
Just like it's rude to say to a 110 pound person, "Why aren't you eating? You're so skinny."
Either one is rude and awkward.0 -
Agreed agreed agreed!
Its like asking "when's the baby due?"
"Uh....I'm not pregnant."
That happened to me at IKEA once, before I started losing weight. I'm 5'3" and I weighed 228, and to top it off, I carried my weight like a pregnant woman. Of course the lines are mile long at the check out, and some older lady... maybe around 65 or so, told me and my husband to go ahead of her, so "his pregnant wife can go sit down."
B*tch, be glad you're cute, and elderly.... because I would have done some "pregnant" jujitsu.0 -
I DESPISE the word "skinny" but respect and agree with all else you said. I'm so sick of everyone on here thinking this is just to lose weight or people in real life questioning or mocking my food choices. Lifestyle changes, baby, and anyone any size can and should do it.0
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Could be that the easiest thing to do is not let it bother you and devote your energy towards things that concern your life more than the opinions voiced by others. Look at it this way, if it's not going to affect you tomorrow, why waste your time worrying about it today?
Example: somebody called me a dirty jew for no apparent reason other than the fact that I don't like pork. Am I really going to sit there and let myself get heated for a comment that existed for the amount of time it took to say it? Is this person going to say the exact same thing to my face at the exact same time tomorrow? Will this continue for the rest of my life? Most likely, no. So why should I expend the energy to get pissed off, possibly start a fight, and suffer the consequences? Why waste my time??? Ignore it.0 -
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I will have curves no matter what I weigh, unless I get really gross and underweight, which I have never done. I happen to be one of those people that gains weight very easily and was on a medication for a few years that my doctor neglected to tell me had an unwelcome side effect that helped me gain weight even more easily and made it almost impossible to lose. I found out about it after gaining 100 pounds and am now on different medication for my condition, not relevant to this conversation, and have lost about 35 pounds so far.
Anyway, I love my body shape because I have big boobs, hips and butt with a little waist. I just want to get back down to what I was before the meds put me up over the top. However, I do love food and I won't apologize for that fact. I have found a good balance between diet and exercise and am able to eat what I like and still lose weight. I have friends who are overweight and friends who are skinny. What I can't stand are any people who have to judge based on just seeing someone for two seconds that what they are putting in their mouth or how they live their life must be the reason they look the way they do. Those people irritate me about as much as the vegetarians and vegans seem to feel the need to try to attack me for being a meat eater. Hey, guess what?? What I do is none of your damn business. If you don't like the way I live my life, then go away. There are plenty of other people in this world you can annoy. Leave me alone.
(I'm really not this surly usually, judgey people just really bother me.) :happy:0 -
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Could be that the easiest thing to do is not let it bother you and devote your energy towards things that concern your life more than the opinions voiced by others. Look at it this way, if it's not going to affect you tomorrow, why waste your time worrying about it today?
Example: somebody called me a dirty jew for no apparent reason other than the fact that I don't like pork. Am I really going to sit there and let myself get heated for a comment that existed for the amount of time it took to say it? Is this person going to say the exact same thing to my face at the exact same time tomorrow? Will this continue for the rest of my life? Most likely, no. So why should I expend the energy to get pissed off, possibly start a fight, and suffer the consequences? Why waste my time??? Ignore it.
The whole "be the bigger man" argument gets tired quick though. Why is it that the victim always has to be "the bigger man"? Honestly, I wouldn't put up with that crap. I'm combative though. Just sitting back and taking it, usually tells the other person that it's okay. No one is going to say anything, so they can say whatever they want... Not with me.0 -
Nights like tonight I could just punch her in the nose! She intentionally brings cookies and tells me to have one, it won't kill you. She's studying to be a nurse practioner and has to say something about everything. Seriously, doesn't matter what it is! The other day a customer and I were discussing the clothes of the 80s and she started to interject herself into the conversation and the customer said, "you have no idea. You weren't even born yet."0
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Nights like tonight I could just punch her in the nose! She intentionally brings cookies and tells me to have one, it won't kill you. She's studying to be a nurse practioner and has to say something about everything. Seriously, doesn't matter what it is! The other day a customer and I were discussing the clothes of the 80s and she started to interject herself into the conversation and the customer said, "you have no idea. You weren't even born yet."
I just had a co-worker tell me tonight that he brought a huge bag of Halloween candy in, and even though he knows I'm dieting, if I feel like falling off the wagon, the candy's there.
Well, f you very much.
Now, I'm even more determined to stay away from his desk.
And GOOD FOR THAT CUSTOMER!!!! ugh. that irritates me!!! Kinda like the whole "I'm 14, cute, adorably retarded and I don't know what 9/11 is, but I think it had something to do with ... Jersey?" kind of idiocy. (sorry... I heard that once at Old Navy and I seriously wanted to do my best Jackie Chan jump kick to her pretty little emo hair cut.)
Really... I'm not a violent person. But I play out what violence I would LIKE to do to the person in my head.)0 -
I started this year overweight but not too much. I am a woman in the Army and for the last ten years have struggled with making sure I met the Army's weight standard. This year I decided to get serious and get the pounds off as well as improve my fitness level. At the beginning of June I switched jobs, but still in the same area. It was at this same time that I really started watching my diet and increased my exercise. I take my own lunch and it is not a lot of food at each meal but I snack every couple hours. There is a woman I work with who is naturally thin and has made a couple comments to me about 'do I ever eat'. I told her that I am trying to shed a few pounds and she said 'Why'. I think she meant it as a compliment, but it really aggravated me. Four months later I have lost 17 pounds. Now she asked me the other day if I am done. I would like to lose a few more, maybe five. Again, she asks why? I said because I now have some fitness goals in mind. Really should have just said 'mind your own damn business!'. But it is a small office and in nine months I will move onto my next assignment on the other side of the world. This person is not in the military but has worked with us for more than 30 years.
I know this is a different situation, but the bottom line is that peole just need to mind their own business with people they are not close to. I will say that if someone is dangerously thin(anorexic) or morbidly obese that I hope close friends and family might try to intervene. However as I type that I think of my mom and how I have been watching her live unhealthily (weight , but more so alcohol) for the last ten years. I have tried to talk to her but ultimately she makes her own decisions and has to decide what is right for her, not me.0 -
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I will say that if someone is dangerously thin(anorexic) or morbidly obese that I hope close friends and family might try to intervene.
I wish my family had! When I told my dad that I had signed up for my first 5K he cried and said he had been worried about my weight since Dennis (my son) was born (ummm thanks dad, Dennis is 21 now!)
Most importantly....Thank you for your service! It is your service that allows us here in the USA to be able to have this kind of discussion! Thank you for protecting that right!0 -
unfortunately EVERY group has its stereotypes! im fat, so i must be lazy and sloppy...uh, no, im actually not, but i hear that all the time...WHATEVER...obviously its not gonna bother me that someone who doesnt even know me has already made up their mind about me!!! if you are NOT what they "think" you are, blow 'em off...if you are and dont wanna be, change! thats how i see it. good luck hon, people, in general, are rude and incensitive. love heathy, live strong and be proud of it!0
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Could be that the easiest thing to do is not let it bother you and devote your energy towards things that concern your life more than the opinions voiced by others. Look at it this way, if it's not going to affect you tomorrow, why waste your time worrying about it today?
Indeed. You are right. *sigh*
I guess we're all evolving, yes?
dang. Guess I will stop dragging my knuckles on the ground then!0
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