Living with the Result of Other People's Thinking

Well, that is very insightful, and profound. It saddens me to hear that this. That is where Christ comes in, Because he has no longer given us a spirit of condemnation but a spirt of freedom. He has set the captives free, free from all types of self condemnation, free from others opinions and expectations, free to be who you were created to be, free to be.

What matters most is not how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself. If you're not happy about the legacy you would leave behind, then figure out what you need to change to be happy with that. What do you want to be remembered for? If that's constantly in the back of your mind, then your daily decisions become easier to make because you're deciding for your future...and as Jobs said, everything else is secondary. You can never feel accepted by others if you, yourself, don't accept you first.

I just read this quoted from Steve Jobs. I sat there and thinking: yeah that's me. I have been living the way other people want me to live but I still feel so insecure and constantly seeking other's approval. It upsets me every time when I talk to people I know about myself but at the same I can't blame but myself because I ask for it.

Realization of that which obvious, though we allow ourselves to overlook, is a brilliant basic need for living now. Welcome to the fold.

I guess we all do to a certain extent. There are socially acceptable and legally acceptable behaviour that we all generally abide by. That's what keeps us on a level playing field and socially accepted by others. On a personality level though .. that is somewhat but not completely different. Individualism is acceptable if keep within certain boundaries. Never cave so much that you become someone you dislike.

WE all need to 'find' ourselves, so to speak, as we grow older and mature. You have to decide first what kind of person you want to be .. and by that I mean you have to pick your personality traits that YOU find acceptable (whether it be polite, kind, generous, mean spirited, jealous, greedy .. etc etc) and then make it happen.

Your opinion of yourself will always be more important than pretty much anyone else other than people who are very close to you. How could it ever be different when they simply cannot know what it truly means to be you as an individual? They have not walked in your shoes, gone through what you have, understand all the parts it takes to make you who you are as distinct from someone else. Their assessment will always be imperfect as it is based on imperfect information. Therefore it is secondary to your own as you are aware of all the pieces of the puzzle

Once you know this on a deep level life becomes much easier...That and many people tend to be idiotic so it is easy to dismiss their opinion without even drawing breath

True .. for the most part .. But occasionally a good swift kick in the pants from someone who loves you is warranted. We all have moments when we become absorbed, and perhaps act badly or behave like an idiot, yet don't even realize it until someone points it out.

Your opinion of yourself will always be more important than pretty much anyone else other than people who are very close to you. How could it ever be different when they simply cannot know what it truly means to be you as an individual? They have not walked in your shoes, gone through what you have, understand all the parts it takes to make you who you are as distinct from someone else. Their assessment will always be imperfect as it is based on imperfect information. Therefore it is secondary to your own as you are aware of all the pieces of the puzzle

Once you know this on a deep level life becomes much easier...That and many people tend to be idiotic so it is easy to dismiss their opinion without even drawing breath

True .. for the most part .. But occasionally a good swift kick in the pants from someone who loves you is warranted. We all have moments when we become absorbed, and perhaps act badly or behave like an idiot, yet don't even realize it until someone points it out.

Certainly. People who are close you as I mentioned in my original post can have a good handle on your behaviour.

I'm not discounting that even a stranger than be insightful but that is a lot rarer I feel. Most people are too interested in talking about themselves to truly put themselves in someone else's position.

Now, let's talk about meeeeeeeeee

Uh uh, Mr! .. ME first!

AND ... you we have to remember that even complete strangers can see when you're acting like a jerk .. and by saying so .. either snap you out of it or cause you to spiral into a defensive maniac. Sometimes even strangers can offer constructive criticism .. sometimes not so much.