My FRIEND and HER Tummy ;)

CherryBlossom1982
CherryBlossom1982 Posts: 63 Member
edited October 3 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi there,

My FRIEND had a baby 5 months ago and is having a hard time with her new tummy. She's finding it hard to embrace the extra skin and stretch marks as well as her protruding tummy, even though it seems quite firm mid-way.
She knows she isn't going to go back to her pre-pregnancy body but I guess her questions are, is or has anyone experienced the same or similar feeling about their appearance after pregnancy? Will the protruding tummy ever go down (she thought it would have already been that it's been 5 months)? The extra skin, will that shrink back some? Will the stretch marks fade enough to where it would be ok for her to wear a bikini again?

Any feedback would be really appreciated. I'll pass on your comments onto HER ;)

Replies

  • sweetNsassy2584
    sweetNsassy2584 Posts: 515 Member
    use the search field.. You will find many answers to your question.
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    9 months up, 9 months down. And that's assuming she's working out to get back to pre-pregnancy weight also. The truth is that it will likely never be EXACTLY the same as it was before it grew a child. But many women get back very close (even in the real world) but it doesn't happen over night and many women find it doesn't happen til they are done breast feeding too.

    Stretch marks tend to fade over time unless they were very deep/big. I have some that even 5 years later are still pretty noticeable :(
  • LilysMom28
    LilysMom28 Posts: 236 Member
    My daughter is now two. And although I don't have loose skin i def still have an "after baby tummy". I'm doing my best now to try and tighten up those muscles. The sooner you start the better you will probably be. As far as stretch marks...I used the coco butter through out my pregnancy and that really seemed to help. Not sure if it will help reduce the apperence of ones you may already have. Just keep working at it and you'll see that pre baby body start to come back. But at the same time embrace it because that body gave you a beautiful little angel!! :)

    Tell your friend good luck in her journey!!
  • BeautyCrys
    BeautyCrys Posts: 209 Member
    Tell you're friend, that it will be okay and to enjoy mother hood! Yes, stretch marks will fade and yes you can get back to you're pre-baby bod! Just exercise and cut out sugars and carbs. You will be one hot looking MILF in no time...Oops my bad YOU'RE FRIEND will be one hot looking MILF in no time =)
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    It depends on so many things.

    The younger your "friend", and the less she gained while pregnant, the more elastic her skin, so the more likely the skin will recover.

    Stretch marks are here to stay, sorry, but yes, they fade from red/purple to silver after a year or two.

    The pudge CAN be beaten into submission.

    I had 6 pregnancies and 3 live births and each time it took about a year to get myself back right. I did hit the best shape of my life about 1 year after the birth of my 3rd son--I was teaching 6 classes a week and working out twice with a trainer.

    I actually work out much more than that now, but I am also 8 years older than I was then, and have since adopted a 4th child. Still ok, but not sure I'll ever get back to that best shape.
  • lobster888
    lobster888 Posts: 861 Member
    This may help - when I had my son (20 years ago but it still applies) I was having a hard time too with my after pregnacy body. A very dear friend told me - that it took 9 long months (40 weeks) for body to nurture and grow my beautiful baby!!! It will take 9 long months to undo. Made sense. I did have to work at it ....but no harder than what I was doing before I was pregnant. Hope that helps.
  • fitjunk
    fitjunk Posts: 160 Member
    I think every woman who has given birth is in pure astonishment of what the hell happens to our bodies. How gross is our midsection and will it ever go away? YES! If she takes care of herself (eat/excersize) she will be fine. Be patient it takes time..9 months to get that way, its not always fast and easy to get back but it will happen. I've had 2 children and im in better shape than ever! If I may ask ,is she breast feeding? If she is tell her not to cut her calories down!
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
    use the search field.. You will find many answers to your question.

    effing informative....


    I have two kids... one is three and one is about 8.5 months. I gained 40lbs my first pregnancy and swelled HORRIBLY... I gained 22lbs my second one and it was weight everywhere.. especially my butt. My stomach looks like I got in a fight with a tiger (me losing obviously) and it is smushy still

    I hear and see people that say this cream works, this exercise works. Unfortaunatly, our bodies are all different so it cant be said that any one thing will work for everyone. I do know that the slower the weight loss, the more likely it is to stay off...and honestly, i am learning just now (going on 4 years later) to embrace the stretchmarks. If not for them, i wouldnt have my gorgeous kids. :smile:
  • mamaredhead
    mamaredhead Posts: 112
    I have had three kids and from all that I've experienced I can say:

    Your tummy took nine months to grow, now it will need nine months to go.
    (Hey, that even rhymes, hahaha!)

    She should give herself about a year to find something close to her old body. Maybe even more if she's breastfeeding since not all women shed weight like crazy doing that. I did NOT, I always kept my weight until that breastfeeding-time was completely over (after 9 - 13 months). Having a baby is a lot about someone else (the baby!), not about yourself, so that little critter is who's supposed to get most of the attention, not the mother. It's a rough, rough road to go if you're used to being skinny!!! Tell her to look at her baby and then she'll know who she's doing all this for.

    HER time will come back.
    And that tummy WILL leave.
    (Not totally all by itself, though, but I suppose she knows that already ...)

    Good luck to both of you!!!


    PS: Just found that a handful of mothers already posted about the exact same thing. Will still post it just to let you know that the majority of us moms is positive about all that and think that way! :-)
  • Tiffanydepiano
    Tiffanydepiano Posts: 169 Member
    It will depend on her age and the natural elasticity of her skin. As we age, we lose collagen that repairs skin damage. If she is young ie18-35, she should be able to unless she just doesn't have much collagen to begin with. The stretch marks should fade and get thinner but may always be sort of like pale, white scars that show more when tan.

    Vitamin E oil works about the best for scars and stretch marks as anything I've seen. Make sure that it is 100% pure vitamin E oil not just a lotion that contains it. Also a good fade cream may help a little.

    If she was bikini thin before her pregnancy she should be able to get back there but give it a year unless she wants to do the whole personal trainer thing.

    My sister did it in about 9 months but she still had some stretch marks that were easily covered with a little body makeup.
  • mermx
    mermx Posts: 976
    I would advise your FRIEND that stretch marks never go completely, they fade in time :-)

    Protruding tummy...well you can meet women that have had 5 babies hat have no tummy at all...but will have stretch mark , no breasts/sagging

    Either way, you can have a chat with you FRIEND that her baby will be the most important thing in her life and if she has met someone in her life that is important....or the babys father, then they will accept you just the way you are x
  • bethanytowell
    bethanytowell Posts: 256 Member
    PLEASE have her check out the website - theshapeofamother.com. It is the most awesome website. Its for REAL moms with REAL mommy tummys and about the struggles and most importantly Loving yourself and your new body.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    9949884.jpg
  • jeffsgal105
    jeffsgal105 Posts: 195 Member
    use the search field.. You will find many answers to your question.

    THIS!
  • deannarey13
    deannarey13 Posts: 452
    Okay, here is my experience - others may vary. I have lost all of my baby weight, in fact I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant. However, I got so large and gained so much weight (50 pounds) from my pregnancy that I have the extra skin and stretch marks. I can say this, I am wearing a size 2 or 4 right now depending on brand, so I feel great overall about the progress but when I look in the mirror, I am not thrilled with what I see. My tummy is a lot flatter, but with a lot of extra skin. The stretch marks I have known will never go away.
  • jamiewhelan
    jamiewhelan Posts: 3
    After working at a chiropractor for many months and having had my first child for myself I was surprised to find the amount of pregnant women and mothers who relied on the treatments a chiropractor could provide. At this time I learned that it takes at least 12 months for your hips to set back into or close to their original formation. Many times its the shifting of your bones and stretching of skin that leaves us with a form that is unflattering or altered from our ideal image.

    With all of ourself images being so poor encouraging words are always helpful and some insight is definately helpful to know there is a means to an end.

    Tell her to keep taking healthy steps towards her goals... things won't change over night :)

    oh, and all scars fade with time.
  • feydruss
    feydruss Posts: 349 Member
    PLEASE have her check out the website - theshapeofamother.com. It is the most awesome website. Its for REAL moms with REAL mommy tummys and about the struggles and most importantly Loving yourself and your new body.

    I LOVE this site, and heartily second the recommendation. I looked pregnant before I got pregnant, and now that I have the twin skin and stretch marks and jelly belly to show for actually bringing two children into the world, I see them as badges of honour. I'm working on my core not to hide that, but in order to be strong and flexible to run after my babies. :)
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    I've had 3 kids and I don't have a lot of extra skin (a little but nothing that "sucking-it-in" can't take care of. I never got stretch marks on my stomach (I got some on but rear though). My stomach is now virtually flat with hints of a 6 pack showing through.
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
    the skin eventually gets better. i still am carrying around some extra fat on my belly but i'm trying to work on it. i had a big baby and i've almost bounced back. not from my own experience but from other moms who have more than 1 - the more kids you have the harder it is to bounce back... and the later you have them, the harder... however, nothing is impossible. i used the belly bandit which helped some too.
  • Raf702
    Raf702 Posts: 196 Member
    Any female can get back to their pre-pregnancy physique. That's the beauty of the human body. The ability to stretch, tighten, grow, etc. She needs to focus on her nutrition, specifically calorie consumption. She needs to determine what her BMR is, maintenance calories are. Then she can formulate a calorie deficit plan. All the while she can incorporate exercises that are focused in the core area. Abdominals, lowers back, etc. Within time, the loose skin will tighten up. It's a matter of discipline in the diet and exercises. They're thousands of women out there in the world who have gone through this, and have achieved their pre-pregnancy physique or obtained better. Good luck to her!
  • CherryBlossom1982
    CherryBlossom1982 Posts: 63 Member
    Hi all,

    Thank you all so much for your feedback and sharing your stories. It really helps to know that this isn't it.
    @EIExGordo- that gave me a laugh :) As you all know there is no friend, but I now have more hope. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for the world, my little munchkin is worth these battle scares and some! I just want to be healthier, look better and in turn this will make me feel better and more confident, which my daughter will sooner or later will pick up on.

    @Bethanytowell- thank you so much for the link "theshapeofamother.com", at a quick glance it looks like just what I need, I can see myself spending some time on there.

    Here's what I’m doing at the moment and plan to tweak as I learn and make a lifestyle:
    1. Monitoring what I eat. I’m eating less processed foods. Eating more F&V, whole wheat and lean meats.
    2. Drinking more water
    3. Working out, mainly cardio at the moment as I signed up for my first half marathon, which is in Feb. I signed up for this for both the experience and motivation to work out. I know strength training needs to be incorporated also, so I did an upper body routine this week that I found online. I need to get workouts for other areas too.

    @Raf702, I really appreciate your positive feedback and would love it if you could recommend any core/other workouts that you feel would help in my situation.

    I know I can do this and I know it's going to happen over time, it just seems like it's been longer than 5 months I guess. I've made the above changes over the last month and feel better for it already, having more energy etc. I guess I’m just still coming to terms with my temporary new look.

    Thanks again for all the feedback you guys are amazing :)
  • Hissweetheart
    Hissweetheart Posts: 14 Member
    I have had 2 children, with my youngest almost 4, and my stomach is still a horrible mess. I was heavy for over half of my life so I attribute the situation I've got going on now to the combination of all the extra weight and 2 children, one of them 9lbs 4 oz and 21" long. I know it's possible to wear a bikini after childbirth; many women do it. But I do think there are many things that factor into a woman being able to pull it off.
  • Cbandelier
    Cbandelier Posts: 217 Member
    Okay, here is my experience - others may vary. I have lost all of my baby weight, in fact I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant. However, I got so large and gained so much weight (50 pounds) from my pregnancy that I have the extra skin and stretch marks. I can say this, I am wearing a size 2 or 4 right now depending on brand, so I feel great overall about the progress but when I look in the mirror, I am not thrilled with what I see. My tummy is a lot flatter, but with a lot of extra skin. The stretch marks I have known will never go away.

    I am this!

    I think it is unrealistic to say that every woman can return to her pre-baby body, no matter how much dedication and hard work they put in. The body can only stretch so much. I am probably in the best shape I have ever been, I am lean, muscular, and at a low body weight. I have nice, decently hard abs which show on the sides, but in the front I think they will always be hidden by a layer of fat, stretchy skin. If I were somehow able to lose that fat, (or, say, had it sucked out) it would be a layer of loose, hangy, stretchy skin.

    That being said, it looks a lot better to me now than I would have thought possible a year or so ago. And it has taken a while - my baby is 2 now. And I am actually starting to love the look of my belly, imperfect as it may be. I say embrace your body and love it, and be happy whether it returns to where it was or even if it doesn't.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    Any female can get back to their pre-pregnancy physique. That's the beauty of the human body. The ability to stretch, tighten, grow, etc. She needs to focus on her nutrition, specifically calorie consumption. She needs to determine what her BMR is, maintenance calories are. Then she can formulate a calorie deficit plan. All the while she can incorporate exercises that are focused in the core area. Abdominals, lowers back, etc. Within time, the loose skin will tighten up. It's a matter of discipline in the diet and exercises. They're thousands of women out there in the world who have gone through this, and have achieved their pre-pregnancy physique or obtained better. Good luck to her!

    OK, you go hush, that is ridiculous. Let me know after you have a couple babies how YOU make the stretch marks and skin go away.
  • Caz2678
    Caz2678 Posts: 49
    Any female can get back to their pre-pregnancy physique. That's the beauty of the human body. The ability to stretch, tighten, grow, etc. She needs to focus on her nutrition, specifically calorie consumption. She needs to determine what her BMR is, maintenance calories are. Then she can formulate a calorie deficit plan. All the while she can incorporate exercises that are focused in the core area. Abdominals, lowers back, etc. Within time, the loose skin will tighten up. It's a matter of discipline in the diet and exercises. They're thousands of women out there in the world who have gone through this, and have achieved their pre-pregnancy physique or obtained better. Good luck to her!

    Tell my body that then! Oh and tell my pelvic floor the same thing cos they aint listening! I had my first baby 12 years ago and although I returned to my pre pregnancy weight my body was changed for good!

    I had my third baby 5 months ago and my body is scarred! I have stretch marks, lose skin, varicose veins to name a few! These are things I need to live with but they will never go away and my body won't just repair them!

    I love my babies and would not change them for the world. I concentrate on them and keep myself active and healthy. Being a mum is special and when I see the smiles on their faces it distracts me from my body issues.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories