Extreme guilt

kyylieeeeee
kyylieeeeee Posts: 197 Member
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
Hi all,

I guess I am just looking for some advice/support/relief to know if anyone else does this. If I have a day or two where I go over calories (or even go over my macronutrients), or if I have two or more consecutive days without exercise, my mind gets basically completely paralyzed to all other thoughts except for the extreme guilt that I feel for not meeting my goals.
Today, for example, I went to visit my Grandpa for the day because my Grandma passed away a few days ago. There was some other family there and thus a lot of food. I didn't totally screw everything up (I went about 200-300 cals over, and went over in grams of fat), but I also didn't get a chance to work out. Normally this shouldn't be a big issue, and of course it's understandable because I was with family who are grieving. But this feeling comes every time there's any combination of over in calories or not exercising.
I am worried that I am becoming TOO focused on eating healthy and getting a good workout, because even now past 11PM, I'm contemplating getting out of bed, getting into workout gear, and doing a 5 mile run on my treadmill; of course this will make me lose an extra hour and a half of sleep, which isn't good for my health either since I then will not get a full night's sleep.

And this is how the guilt in my mind runs on all day long! Does anyone else do this, or have any advice on how to make myself feel less bad about my bad decisions?

Obviously this week was an extreme circumstance, with the death of a family member, but I feel like life is always full of extreme or at least unexpected circumstances. And that is why I am worried about feeling so guilty all of the time, I don't want it to be my primary mood!

Thanks everyone!

Replies

  • wormzmom
    wormzmom Posts: 11
    Hey, don't beat urself up too badly......we all mess up from time to time, and this was an unusual situation. Sorry for ur loss.
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS. I have this problem as well. i try to allow myself a cheat meal about once or twice a month for special occasions or what not. i do not always use them but when i do I ALWAYS feel guilty afterwards and it is all i think about. i know how you feel
  • waylonthornton
    waylonthornton Posts: 40 Member
    I feel you, I tend to do the same exact thing. I've never even gone over my calories because I'm so obsessive over it. A few months ago I went through a patch of nearly giving myself an eating disorder. Only ate MAYBE 1000 cals a day (when I'm supposed to have 2000+) and worked out vigorously. Obviously, I lost no weight and made no progress.

    Lately I've been trying to just throw caution to the wind, eat what I want (I still stay within my calories, though) and exercise the comfortable amount for my body. If I lose weight, awesome, if not, whatever. Either way, I'm living a healthier lifestyle and I think in the long run that's what matters.
  • Nancy_hc
    Nancy_hc Posts: 123 Member
    Thats a big deal. These emotions shouldn't be overcoming you the way that they are. You need to re-focus your focus! MFP is great becuase its an awesome situational awareness tool. It helps you keep track of things like calorie and fat intake that is otherwise tough to do on your own. You shouldn't look at the "red" as a failure, rather a challenge. Look back and see what types of foods you probably could have cut back on, or gone a different route with. And then in your log (the box in the bottom right) make a goal for yourself, or try to think of what triggered your over eating or you reaching for the ice cream instead of cut fruit. Reflect, and take that new found knowledge about what foods contain and what makes you do (or not do) things that go against your goals and use it to make tomorrows effort stronger.
    Basically... instead of clogging your mind with what you did wrong, use that brain energy to make plans for how to make it right tomorrow. You'll lose less sleep that way, and daily goals are always a plus. :o)
  • Daisy374
    Daisy374 Posts: 539 Member
    So sorry for your loss :frown:
    I do the same thing... But if I am really good during the week, I allow myself 1 snack or 1 meal over the weekend that I want. Tonight was my 'indluge' dinner.. but tomorrow I get back on track. We all have those days when we go over or just can't get a workout in. Don't beat yourself up or keep feeling guilty. And in this case, you have a good reason.
  • dotty86
    dotty86 Posts: 2
    just look after yourself during a time like this hun x if you go over one day, just try make up for it the next day, but don't worry about it too much as stress will make you body hold onto what it can (fight or flight response's both need extra energy to burn which you body will hold from food)

    i too sometimes feel guilty but i just remember that ppl dont put all their extra weight on over night/in a week, so some days will be better than others :) as long as your heading in the direction you want then its worth just being happy and knowing your on the right path to a better you
  • kyylieeeeee
    kyylieeeeee Posts: 197 Member
    Thanks all you lovely MFPers for such quick responses, and thank you for your sympathy!

    This week was definitely a tough time, but this whole guilty-mentality is an issue I've dealt with for a while; this week just brought it out in full force! haha

    Everyone is right...it's not failure, exactly, if I am not perfectly within my goals for some days. In general, I spend so much time outdoors hiking and running and it's not like I'm a lazy person or unhealthy eater. I need to re-focus myself and concentrate on every day.

    Thanks again!
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