When its gone are you really happy?
karisbear
Posts: 64 Member
Im so unhappy with they way i look now i see myself in a distorted way, that when i loose the weight will i see myself they way everone else sees me will i actually be happy? Why cant i be happy now? how did you feel with loosing weight and your final result? do you always think you could do to loose alittle more or are you happy?
Can you also tell me about your ups and downs during weight loss? i feel like crazy pants over here.
Can you also tell me about your ups and downs during weight loss? i feel like crazy pants over here.
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Replies
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True happiness comes from service to others, not from how we look. BUT, how we look and feel help us to serve others better. "Clothes make the man/woman" does have some truth though, when we feel that we look our best, we have more confidence and are better able to help other people.
Looking for happiness? Be a volunteer AND stay here on MFP and work on your goals of being a better you.0 -
I'm more confident now, which has made me so much happier. Confidence absolutely does not have to come from losing weight, but it has for me.0
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Well, 10 years ago I lost 90lbs and kept it off for 4-5 years.
I can tell you I was happier when I lost the weight, but I did still want to go further. Then it piled back on. I think a big part of it is mental. Maybe you might need to seek a counselor to help you truely see the new you when you have lost the weight. Also if you have a lot to lose, you end up with saggy skin that takes time, weight-lifting, and lots of water to help it tighten up. When I was 149, I was still not able to wear a bikini or anything... but I looked FAB in clothes
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I was overweight growing up and lost about 100 pounds ten years ago. I was able to keep it off until fertility treatments put a bunch of weight on me really fast (two years ago). I found that adjusting to my new self was kind of a mixed bag. It took me a long time to stop seeing myself as the fat kid and the attention I got from men made me uncomfortable at first. I found that women were much more competitive with me than before. I felt really insecure for a while. In short, it was not a magic bullet. On the positive side, I loved having boundless energy and feeling like I could kick-*kitten*. I loved the way my body felt moving through the world and after a while, I felt like I didn't have to hide anymore. In short, I had to also do some mental adjustment that took longer than the actual weight loss. This time, I am here to lose the infertility weight and get back to feeling that energy again. I am still fifty pounds lighter than my original starting weight and tons more comfortable in my skin this time. I feel like I have learned to love myself along the way. I just want to be healthy and have energy again. It is not so much about how I look anymore.
So, I guess the short answer is...Will it automatically make your life perfect? No Will it all be worth it? Absolutely0 -
I probably spent about 2 years not even looking into the mirror at myself. I just wanted to pretend like I hadn't really let myself get that far. Reality set in with health problems.
No, I will probably never be happy with the way I look, self image is distorted. Now, I want to be healthy for me and my kids.0 -
I think happiness has to come from within. I am 29 lbs into a 77 lb journey. Am I happier now? I don't know if happy is the right word. I have more confidence. I walk a little lighter, not weighed down by worries. I walk with my head up and make eye contact with people. I laugh a little easier than I did. I feel alive. I guess you could call it happy.0
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Weight loss is a very emotional process but when you don't go to the root of why you gain the weight, it will always be a problem. I am still almost 300 pounds, but I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Accept yourself now, and you'll be happy at any size. You'll focus on your health, and the pounds will come off, you'll get stronger, and your mental well being will flourish.
I did feel that way a lot though in the beginning. Again, it's understanding why you have weight problem. You have to pull from the root.0 -
Nicely put!!0
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To answer simply, yes-- I am very, very pleased with my body, self-confidence level, and with the way I look in general.
My goal is to work on my fitness (especially running endurance), and in the process I hope to lose a few more pounds.
But after my first drop in weight (from 150 to 140), I got to where my body felt comfortable and where I look pretty excellent. And I'm very happy with my results.
Even if you have 100 pounds to lose rather than just 10, the end result will be the same: you'll be healthier, more fit, thinner, and will have a better understanding of how your body works. Chances are, those things will add up to you being happier, too.0 -
Sometimes, and you have to choose to be happy.
When I was at my heaviest I would go to work and come home and either read a book or watch tv all evening. I didn't have friends. I didn't do many activities out of the house. And I told myself that I was fine.
It wasn't until I lost a lot of that weight and started spending more time with other people that I realized how lonely I had really been.
Someone sent me one of those silly surveys on facebook the other day asking who my best friend was when I was 24, and I didn't have one. Not only didn't I have a best friend, I didn't have ANY friends, just people I worked with. And I lived like that for 6 years. I didn't date for 10.
When I lost weight, I was more willing to spend time with other people. If they wanted to go for a walk, I could do it and not have to worry about not keeping up. I wasn't as afraid of being thought of as "the fat one".
There are still some things that worry me about getting to my goal weight. I *know* I'm going to have loose skin and insane stretch marks. I know that I probably won't ever be comfortable in a bikini without surgical help. But I also know that I would still rather be my goal weight than what I was then, or even what I am now.
And I hope to knock the socks off my (long distance) boyfriend the next time I see him. Now *that* will be fun 0 -
Well, 10 years ago I lost 90lbs and kept it off for 4-5 years.
I can tell you I was happier when I lost the weight, but I did still want to go further. Then it piled back on. I think a big part of it is mental. Maybe you might need to seek a counselor to help you truely see the new you when you have lost the weight. Also if you have a lot to lose, you end up with saggy skin that takes time, weight-lifting, and lots of water to help it tighten up. When I was 149, I was still not able to wear a bikini or anything... but I looked FAB in clothes
I'm not sure who told you that you could "tighten up" your saggy skin with "time, weight-lifting, and lots of water". I laughed my *kitten* off. Once your skin is damaged with stretch marks, etc... it will NEVER go back to how it was. NEVER... except with surgery.0 -
If you are unhappy with your appearance, weight, energy level or your fitness level, then yes, improving those things will make you happier. There is also a huge confidence and sense of control that comes from being able to be in control of your body and your fitness. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels for me to feel fit and to be able to carry things, go up stairs, bend over and pick things up, etc. It is a wonderful feeling.
If you are unhappy about other things (relationships, money, work, etc.) then, no, losing weight won't fix those things.
Sometimes, though, there seems to be a relationship between happiness and weight. In other words, when I'm sad, stressed, otherwise miserable, I want to eat more and that creates more weight, less health and the entire situation gets worse. When I feel happy and relaxed, then, it is sometimes easier for me to control my food and to go out and enjoy moving.
I think you raise a complex subject. I'm glad you're thoughtful. Continue to be thoughtful about improving yourself.0 -
I lost the weight after my last baby i had serious motivation, and it teetered off when i put the weight back on i felt ashamed i felt like people i knew were looking at me diffrently , because i never kept with what i was doing and no matter how i tried to get motivated again i just couldnt get there. I think the search for for happiness is more important then weight loss im fallowing in the foot steps of my mom who has been on countless diets and can never stick to anything, its hard to break the mold and as much as i dont want to end up like my mom, i dont want my daughter to end up like me.0
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I think that losing the weight is only part of the journey and it's probably the easy part. It's what is going on inside your head that is tough to fix, but definitely doable. One strategy is self talk. You need to stop all those negative thoughts that ruminate inside your head and replace them with positive ones, even if you don't believe it at first. Easier said than done I know. I would suggest a self help book, or even counselling.0
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Well, 10 years ago I lost 90lbs and kept it off for 4-5 years.
I can tell you I was happier when I lost the weight, but I did still want to go further. Then it piled back on. I think a big part of it is mental. Maybe you might need to seek a counselor to help you truely see the new you when you have lost the weight. Also if you have a lot to lose, you end up with saggy skin that takes time, weight-lifting, and lots of water to help it tighten up. When I was 149, I was still not able to wear a bikini or anything... but I looked FAB in clothes
I'm not sure who told you that you could "tighten up" your saggy skin with "time, weight-lifting, and lots of water". I laughed my *kitten* off. Once your skin is damaged with stretch marks, etc... it will NEVER go back to how it was. NEVER... except with surgery.
I disagree with this.
I have stretch marks that are disappearing off my legs from a bit of castor oil. I got rid of a bad scar through the same method. It takes time and I did drink lots of water and used the most hydrating emollient...0 -
Weight loss is a very emotional process but when you don't go to the root of why you gain the weight, it will always be a problem. I am still almost 300 pounds, but I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Accept yourself now, and you'll be happy at any size. You'll focus on your health, and the pounds will come off, you'll get stronger, and your mental well being will flourish.
I did feel that way a lot though in the beginning. Again, it's understanding why you have weight problem. You have to pull from the root.
You're so awesome! Very true!:laugh:0 -
Well, 10 years ago I lost 90lbs and kept it off for 4-5 years.
I can tell you I was happier when I lost the weight, but I did still want to go further. Then it piled back on. I think a big part of it is mental. Maybe you might need to seek a counselor to help you truely see the new you when you have lost the weight. Also if you have a lot to lose, you end up with saggy skin that takes time, weight-lifting, and lots of water to help it tighten up. When I was 149, I was still not able to wear a bikini or anything... but I looked FAB in clothes
I'm not sure who told you that you could "tighten up" your saggy skin with "time, weight-lifting, and lots of water". I laughed my *kitten* off. Once your skin is damaged with stretch marks, etc... it will NEVER go back to how it was. NEVER... except with surgery.
Glad I could give you a laugh... I didn't say that you would become a flawless bikini model did I?? No I said it would tighten up... Mine did over time, and I never tried weightlifting and water myself, but I have a few friends who have lost lots of weight and their skin and body looks MUCH better now... Also stretchmarks fade with time, no obviously they won't go away completely. By BETTER I don't mean PERFECT... just so you're clear.0 -
I probably spent about 2 years not even looking into the mirror at myself. I just wanted to pretend like I hadn't really let myself get that far.
No, I will probably never be happy with the way I look, self image is distorted.
I agree with this statement a lot. While I have been over 400 on several occasions, i have dropped down to 180 on other occasions. While I might be a lot happier at the lower weight i was never able to shake the feeling that something was still wrong with me. I think that feeling is part of what led me to putting the weight back on. Since i was still not happy with my appearance I think i just stopped putting all the effort into it. I just kept feeling like whats the point, there still something wrong with me. While I've known a lot of people that didnt have that feeling of self doubt hanging around their neck after they lost the weight, i was unfortunately one of the unlucky ones. Hopefully this times its different. Im tired of avoiding myself in the mirror or being disgusted with what i see. I'm better than that. You can be too. If your not happy in general though it probably wont matter how much weight you lose. That might make it a little better but it isnt a cure.0 -
Honestly, I have reached my goal weight. Currently I am 108lbs at 5'2. I am definitely more confident in my clothing choices, and a hell of a lot stronger and active. But I'm not completely content with my body, and I dont know if I will ever be. At first I wanted to get to 110lbs, then when I got there I wanted lower, now that I'm lower, I want my stomach flatter, etc. I don't know if its me and my personality, because in general I am always looking to chance something or try something new. But sometimes I feel like I may be a little obsessed with my calorie counting and exercising.0
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This is just not true. Sure, severely stretched out skin will not go back. I don't expect my stretch marks to disappear, but my skin is not loose and it is tightening up all the time with weight training and exercise. It's like having a baby, your stomach stretches out and you give it a year to see if it goes back completely or not. Some people's skin does go back, some doesn't.
EDIT: I meant to quote the poster who said that skin going back was impossible. OOPS.0 -
The time to be happy is NOW. Happiness is accepting yourself and your life just how it is, although acknowledging what can be improved and moving towards improving it, is a good thing.
I lost a ton of weight and then immediately started putting it back on. I needed to learn lessons about myself and permanently replace destructive nurturing behaviours with more constructive behaviours. Hey, I know I can't undo all the damage I've done to my body over the years, but I can improve it, and I love it NOW.
My body can do so much more now I am fitter, and I'm looking damn good in clothes. I'm not done though and I won't stop until I know I am at a healthy weight. What will my life/perspective look like then? I'm not sure but I'm excited to find out.
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In a word, no.
Losing weight in and of itself won't make you happy.
But it might make you pleased and proud and help your self esteem and make you more likely to try and do things that you weren't prepared to do before.
I bet, though that if you tried you could come up with a list of things that do make you happy. Something like this:
- getting a sleepy goodnight kiss from your kids
- laughing like a mad thing with friends
- walking out in the early morning sunshine on a fresh spring day
- getting a "thank you" from a stranger for something you have done to make their day brighter
- exercising (I never really believed it was possible, but running makes me happy. It really lifts my mood!)0 -
You raise such a good question - I've been asking myself that for the past week!
I've recently lost 37lbs and have no idea why I've been so moody and depressed. Your post really made me think it through.
I think losing weight is a mind game that requires not only self discipline, but a lot of control. In my personal experience, I like controlling this weight loss.. but now that I've lost enough, I feel sad that I cannot commit as much effort to it as I needed to before?
Mixed emotions over here too sister!0 -
You raise such a good question - I've been asking myself that for the past week!
I've recently lost 37lbs and have no idea why I've been so moody and depressed. Your post really made me think it through.
I think losing weight is a mind game that requires not only self discipline, but a lot of control. In my personal experience, I like controlling this weight loss.. but now that I've lost enough, I feel sad that I cannot commit as much effort to it as I needed to before?
Mixed emotions over here too sister!
Do u ever feel like if you let go and be happy about it u might let go and it all go south? i gained 5 lbs this summer after loosing 15 i feel very mix i one day will feel like i did a good job damnit!! other days i feel like really did u need that piece of cake and now look what you did
by the way congrats to you all on ur weight loss!!!0 -
I bet, though that if you tried you could come up with a list of things that do make you happy. Something like this:
- getting a sleepy goodnight kiss from your kids
- laughing like a mad thing with friends
- walking out in the early morning sunshine on a fresh spring day
- getting a "thank you" from a stranger for something you have done to make their day brighter
- exercising (I never really believed it was possible, but running makes me happy. It really lifts my mood!)
those are very good reasons for being more then happy thank u0 -
You're welcome. I think it's easy to focus on one thing (like weight loss) and decide that it's the weight that is the problem and when that is gone, all will be well. The only problem with this is that it can mean that when you've done all that hard work you might not enjoy the results as much as you should because in reality, all the things that are going on in your life will still be going on, you'll just be a thin person dealing with them.
In case this sounds negative - the flip side is that the things that make you happy are probably already around, you just have to look for them
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Weight loss is a very emotional process but when you don't go to the root of why you gain the weight, it will always be a problem. I am still almost 300 pounds, but I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Accept yourself now, and you'll be happy at any size. You'll focus on your health, and the pounds will come off, you'll get stronger, and your mental well being will flourish.
I did feel that way a lot though in the beginning. Again, it's understanding why you have weight problem. You have to pull from the root.
YES!!!!0
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