Another point of view needed

Katemarie34
Katemarie34 Posts: 144 Member
edited October 3 in Chit-Chat
Hmm... so i've been seeing this guy since march (well hanging out) we've been together for 4 months now. I need some advice... When is it ok to start going places together? I met him before I moved an hour away, and we decided we wanted to see how it worked with the distance. It's going pretty good, the weekends are our only time. We agreed that if we needed a girls weekend/guys weekend that obviously we should take them.... I've invited him to places with my friends/or family and he's come to a couple and I went to a couple in the beginning--- but now he doesn't even invite me? Is this something to even bring up, or is it just a little overracting. When it's family/friends/and everyone brings their SO's along.. So it's not like i'm mad if it's a guys weekend (everyone needs those!)

Replies

  • suzi67
    suzi67 Posts: 162 Member
    Don't make someone a priority who only considers you an option.
  • wholefoodgirl
    wholefoodgirl Posts: 8
    It's okay to start going places together from the very beginning of the relationship -- otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship? :)

    Maybe you need to define the relationship. Are you dating? Hanging out? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Once you know what the relationship is, you can define what it means. It sounds like you just have different expectations of what you want from each other.
  • jamielise2
    jamielise2 Posts: 432 Member
    That's a fine line to walk....if you do chose to bring it up I wou ld suggest just saying something like "I really miss our time together on the weekends" and see what he says...

    If he feels accused or boxed in that could end the relationship...and maybe he thinks you guys are just friends. Stating it like you're missing a friend should help keep him from panicking...
  • litlpineapple
    litlpineapple Posts: 63 Member
    It's okay to start going places together from the very beginning of the relationship -- otherwise what's the point of being in a relationship? :)

    Maybe you need to define the relationship. Are you dating? Hanging out? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Once you know what the relationship is, you can define what it means. It sounds like you just have different expectations of what you want from each other.

    Yeah, I would say think about how you feel about this guy - do you want to be serious? It sounds like you do and if so, then there's no reason not to talk to him about it and be honest and open and see what he says. I dont keep things from my fiancee, for long anyway, and I think that's one of the best parts of our relationship.

    Story of caution: I had a boyfriend and noticed this behavior with his friends, not family, and I came to find out that his friends didn't like me and after a few forced hangouts i realized I didn't like them. It wasn't a big deal after a while but eventually we broke up. So, no hard feelings but it wasn't the greatest situation. Lol.
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
    You are both consenting adults (I assume)... I doesn't matter what "kind" of relationship you are in .. Whether it be casual friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, dating, just chill'n .. what ever you wanna call it ... as long as it's mutual. Problems stem from miscommunication in a new relationship.

    If you are in a different 'place' than he is .. then, chances are, you will beat yourself up and fret about IT .. because IT is the unknown, and leaves too much to the imagination and wishful thinking.

    Ask him .. communicate .. Find out if he is in the same place as you.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I suggest reading and/or watching He's Just Not That Into You. Guys never say to themselves "I really like her. I think I'll stop inviting her to hang out with my family and friends."
  • Katemarie34
    Katemarie34 Posts: 144 Member
    We have had the talk- we're "official" meaning boyfriend and girlfriend. So hmmm... thanks everyone, lots to think about... I mean I know he's not with anyone else, or anything like that.... I guess it's just something I'll talk about with him then, didn't know if I was overreacting or not... Just didn't know how to bring it up, or what would be the correct way... because I don't mind us having weekends away or hanging out with friends and all of that stuff, just kinda weird to me that when other people take their SO's that i'm not even getting an invite... I just didn't want to sound "clingy" or anything like that, it's just something that does kinda bother me.
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