Methods of overcoming eating disorders

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kitkatrr3
kitkatrr3 Posts: 2
in Health and Weight Loss
I've had "disordered" thoughts about food for about two years now, but bulimia only became a serious issue for me around the holidays of 2010, when I started bingeing constantly and felt an absolute need to escape from the consequences of it. I had reached my goal weight of 100 lbs by then already, but gained an extra 20 simply from those holidays. Since then I have gotten back down and am now hovering around 107-109, but I am still suffering from bulimia... pretty severely. I binge and throw up approximately once a day, and somehow I always find some way to obtain that binge food and stuff myself no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I'm extremely disappointed in myself for spending so much money on this and wasting so much of my friends' food, I'm ashamed to be seen eating all these things, I hide the wrappers to throw them away... ALL of these binges happen at night, after I'm home from school. During the morning and daytime, each day, my resolve is renewed and I want to defeat this thing, but every night my resolve wanes and I somehow convince myself, "I want this, and it will be worth it," or I can't stop myself anyway. It's as though there's some compelling power greater than me that drives me through the mouth.

I know one of the best ways to avoid bingeing is to eat enough in the first place so the body doesn't try to compensate, but that hasn't really helped, because I usually do eat enough and everything I do eat (outside of binges) is quite healthy.

My mother knows I used to suffer from bulimia but does not know that I still do. Her pressure on me for my weight when I was a child is what I largely blame for my skewed thoughts about eating... and I don't feel close enough with her to confide in her about this again. I've had a therapist before and it didn't help very much, and I feel much better confiding in someone who is my own age or someone who has had similar struggles to me. Two close friends also have eating disorders and we provide support for each other, and several of my other friends are aware of my ED and also give me support.

What can I tell myself to prevent myself from wanting to binge in the first place, and from wanting to purge? What else can I do to help change my disordered thinking, and what concrete steps can I take to recover? Should I ask my friends to do something for me? I find I can't think of anything and I turn to you wonderful people for help. :(

Replies

  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Unfortunately, the things you are asking are better handled by professionals. It is great you have some support from others with your same struggles, but I worry that if you rely on them too much, it could continue to trigger some issues for you too. There are different therapists and different programs. It would be best if you search for one that works for you. This is bigger than you and you need help.
  • kburns0709
    kburns0709 Posts: 297 Member
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    i think this is the kind of thing that you need to get some real help for, i would consider some kind of therapy. i would offer advice but i think this problem is severe enough that you need to get professional help
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
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    http://www.something-fishy.org

    this place helped me a lot. As did MFP. I have not purged in almost a year.
  • CateLouise
    CateLouise Posts: 60 Member
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    well first of all it takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem so well done =D

    one of my best friends suffered from bulimia in high school and it took her a long time to admit she had a problem. what i told her to do was when ever she felt weak and out of control to call me and i would talk to her. i never blamed her and barley talked about her disorder when she was weak like that. instead we just talked about girl things, basically i distracted her until it was over. after wards when she was stronger and more confident i would get her to talk about what made her feel weak, normally stress, family etc, then i would tell her how awesome i thought she was to help build up her confidence.

    because your friends know what you are going through maybe they can do the same for you.

    the most important thing is that you keep trying until you find what works for you =]
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    To be honest with you, if you have friends that are also suffering from ED's, then you are probably just enabling each other. This is a horrid disease to deal with by yourself, and all the advice I can give is to talk to someone, and get the help you need. If the therapist you had was no help, get another.....

    You have to really start to look at the path you are on, and stop denying what you are doing to your body. You have to get your mind well, (which normally involves some type of counseling) before you can treat your body the way you should.

    I am not the best to give advice, as I suffer as well, but I can say that I do not binge and purge, that all stopped when I was forced to look at some pictures of a girl, completely naked, slumped over a toilet, her spine clearly visible as mine is, vomit and defecation all over her and the floor, her skin a lovely bluish color, the life gone from her. She had binged that one last time, and in the process of trying to purge, her stomach could no longer stay together, and it had ripped open from the inside, and she had drown in her own body......its something that shook me to the bone, and I will never forget her.....

    THAT is the side of this disease that most never see, but it is the image that all of us that are suffering should HAVE to see, I will never forget it.....
    Please try and reach out and get the help you need and deserve.....
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
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    I know one of the best ways to avoid bingeing is to eat enough in the first place so the body doesn't try to compensate, but that hasn't really helped, because I usually do eat enough and everything I do eat (outside of binges) is quite healthy.

    Unless you never feel like eating chocolate or cake or a good burger, eating only healthy stuff will also lead to binges. When I was in treatment for bulimia, they made sure we had our share of "treats". Of course, the overall diet was very healthy: 1800 cals, 5 fruit and veggies per day, lean meats, dairy... But every once in a while, we had French fries or two oreos for dessert.

    It's important for someone who suffer from an ED to realise that there are no "good foods" and no "bad foods" because it's the belief that some foods are bad that leads a binge. You eat a forbidden food then thin "I might as well stuff my face as I'm going to purge anyway". Then comes self-loathing...

    I am a fully recovered bulimic. You know what cured me? The fact I was actually losing my teeth to stomach acid. When my dentist asked me if I had an ED (because that's the only thing that could explain all the problems I had), I burst into tears on the chair. She didn't judge or anything but she told me it wouldn't get any better if I kept going on like this. From that day on, I stopped restricting and the binges went down the drain (metaphorically this time).

    I can now afford to watch my weight, because those days are long gone (4 years) but I would advise you to stay away from weightloss websites. They contribute to feed the obsession (loads of triggers and some people here are clearly anorexics). Or at least put your calories on maintenance. Don't restrict for the time being...

    You can message me if you want
  • jnettiedotson
    jnettiedotson Posts: 163
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    Bulimia is not something to play with, it's dangerous. I always think of the show intervention when I read stuff like this, maybe you need a rehab for a few months or something. I would def look into it, and I'm so sorry you're going thru this :(
  • wendix
    wendix Posts: 74 Member
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    i think first of all if your friends also have eating disorders it will be hard to get over yours. i am a recovering bulimic and its this warped view of when you start getting better, you almost miss the disorder. that of course will never make sense to anyone who hasn't had one, but it's almost like a security blanket has been taken away. and in my opinion it will be very very hard for you to be around people that still have that ''security blanket'' and that kind of subconscious 'well, if they are doing it then i can do it' - im not meaning this to be harsh AT ALL. but its something i had to think about myself during the start of recovery.

    there is no quick fire way to get rid of bulimia though, i wish there was. i realised i needed to stop because my teeth started cracking. also i got told i had to be monitored because the electrolytes in my blood were low and i could have a heart attack. but scare tactics dont work either unless YOU have gone through them, i'm so aware of this.

    basically you need to go and talk to someone, not every therapist is for everyone but you need something like CBT, which will completely change your behaviour and thoughts. dont think therapy isnt for you just coz you didnt like it before, you need to try different views.

    i'd also encourage you to go online and find bulimia support networks. NOT eating disorder forums (they tend to be triggering) but registered websites that give you links to other websites that help etc.

    basically, bulimia will not go away unless your attitude changes. your thoughts and the way u look at food needs to change. it sounds simple but think about if a drug addict woke up and was like 'today im not gonna do any more drugs'' - in reality they are pretty likely to fail. compared to if they go to support groups and accept their entire thoughts regarding drug taking needs to change. i dont know if any of this makes sense. message me if you want. and good luck
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
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    http://www.something-fishy.org

    Excellent website, thank you for that!

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